Sniff petrol
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17 October 2002, 04:08 PM
#10
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Looking through the back issues this made me laugh 
The second newcomer to the range is the Elise IT which will target overpaid nobwits in the computer industry. Coming complete with a raft of pointless carbon fibre components which do absolutely nothing for the performance and handling yet will give the owner something to misguidedly brag about, the IT is set to cost lots of money. Although much of the fancy technology on this model is designed purely to snare geeks there is said to be one genuine weight saving - since most buyers are unlikely to have any mates Lotus has been able to remove the passenger seat. In the event of an owner, for example, getting a girlfriend, a second seat will be a retro fit option though Hethel sources don't expect much take up on this. As a final sop to the target market the IT will come with a unique buy back scheme which will enable owners to return their cars to the factory at short notice when their employer invariably sacks them, having realised the sheer stupidity of paying a laughably huge amount of money to a greasy haired nobber whose only basic skills are farting about with jumped-up calculators, snorting derisively when asked for technical advice, and driving his stupid little sports car really quickly into the work car park under the misguided assumption that other employees think he's cool.
Si (who works in IT)
The second newcomer to the range is the Elise IT which will target overpaid nobwits in the computer industry. Coming complete with a raft of pointless carbon fibre components which do absolutely nothing for the performance and handling yet will give the owner something to misguidedly brag about, the IT is set to cost lots of money. Although much of the fancy technology on this model is designed purely to snare geeks there is said to be one genuine weight saving - since most buyers are unlikely to have any mates Lotus has been able to remove the passenger seat. In the event of an owner, for example, getting a girlfriend, a second seat will be a retro fit option though Hethel sources don't expect much take up on this. As a final sop to the target market the IT will come with a unique buy back scheme which will enable owners to return their cars to the factory at short notice when their employer invariably sacks them, having realised the sheer stupidity of paying a laughably huge amount of money to a greasy haired nobber whose only basic skills are farting about with jumped-up calculators, snorting derisively when asked for technical advice, and driving his stupid little sports car really quickly into the work car park under the misguided assumption that other employees think he's cool.
Si (who works in IT)
17 October 2002, 04:55 PM
#11
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Now that's more like it!
Oh look, it's a Ferrari. That means it must be good. Erm, no. It's a big, crude old car with a massive engine, a wool-over-eyes trick that the prancing horse pulled several times before, and after, this dinosaur. Hey Enzo, perhaps if you'd taken your sunglasses off you'd have been able to see how crap your company's engineering was. The Daytona drives like a truck but, ooooh, it's got that badge on the front so it must be treated with something approaching blind reverence. Like I said: erm, no.
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