The missus just got this letter from Tesco's
18 November 2011, 01:28 PM
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The missus just got this letter from Tesco's
Dear Mrs. Murray,
... ...
Whilst we would like to thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of his actions over the past few months, all verified by our surveillance cameras: · June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking. · July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. · July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle. · July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an Official tone, 'Code 3' in Housewares and watched what happened. · August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.. · September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove. · September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could Help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' · October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it. · October 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle, asked an assistant if he knew where the Antidepressants were. · November 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme. · November 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practiced the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels. · November 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!' · November 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the fetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again....And; last, but not least: · November 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here
Clearly its not real, but there are some excellent ideas in there.
... ...
Whilst we would like to thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of his actions over the past few months, all verified by our surveillance cameras: · June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking. · July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. · July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle. · July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an Official tone, 'Code 3' in Housewares and watched what happened. · August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.. · September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove. · September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could Help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' · October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it. · October 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle, asked an assistant if he knew where the Antidepressants were. · November 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme. · November 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practiced the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels. · November 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!' · November 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the fetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again....And; last, but not least: · November 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here
Clearly its not real, but there are some excellent ideas in there.
18 November 2011, 01:58 PM
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We do the stuff in other people's trollys all the time.
Best to do in Ikea, hide five or six soft toys from Kids section in a trolley full of stuff.
Best to do in Ikea, hide five or six soft toys from Kids section in a trolley full of stuff.
18 November 2011, 02:01 PM
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18 November 2011, 02:02 PM
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Friends used to hide in the cupboards in IKEA til it closed, then come out and walk about as if they were stuck in the store (which they were by that time) Or just jump out on unsuspecting people looking at the units.
18 November 2011, 02:29 PM
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18 November 2011, 05:29 PM
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19 November 2011, 12:02 AM
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I once went shopping with my incredibly placid dad, one woman continually placed her trolley in the way whenever we wanted to pick something up. At the last aisle with her trolley fully loaded, he waited until she wandered off, then nabbed her trolley and sped across the hypermarket with it and dumped it miles away. He didn't say a word when he returned, he just had an impish schoolboy grin.
D
D
19 November 2011, 12:12 AM
#23
I once went shopping with my incredibly placid dad, one woman continually placed her trolley in the way whenever we wanted to pick something up. At the last aisle with her trolley fully loaded, he waited until she wandered off, then nabbed her trolley and sped across the hypermarket with it and dumped it miles away. He didn't say a word when he returned, he just had an impish schoolboy grin.
D
D
Good on him.
19 November 2011, 12:12 PM
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I once went shopping with my incredibly placid dad, one woman continually placed her trolley in the way whenever we wanted to pick something up. At the last aisle with her trolley fully loaded, he waited until she wandered off, then nabbed her trolley and sped across the hypermarket with it and dumped it miles away. He didn't say a word when he returned, he just had an impish schoolboy grin.
D
D
excellent
20 November 2011, 02:05 AM
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Haha we still do that, used to get loose security tags and put them in a mates pocket or another shopper and then watch the chaos ensue.
20 November 2011, 03:36 AM
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Putting name tags on xmas turkeys was always a good laugh. Funny to see if someone pops the turkey with a "Hi, my name is Steve" tag on it into their trolley 
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