J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

I know it comes with the territory but eldest today at about on, having just got up decides he is going to his mates, a half hour round trip away and then would want picking up, there is a Bus route that goes there and it is £2.20 so I offered the Bus fare, he seemed happy with this but fannied about and didnt go anyway as it was a bit like hard work walking to the bus stop. Ok, this was perhaps me being a bit lazy but I was out last night and feel a bit rough and also I don't want to use 30 miles worth of petrol and an hour plus of my day on a whim. Also, they expect us to drop everything to drop them off but cant be arsed doing anything we ask them to do, I think occasionally saying no is a good thing, I dont remember really getting driven around, i used to use my bike as all my mates were local.

I take the Dog for a good long walk and the missus appears back from shopping and I get it in the neck for not driving him there, I got told I was dropping youngest off yesterday and to be honest I get peed off with being expected to drop everything to ferry them about when there is a perfectly good bus service which gives him some independence, saves probably seven quids worth of fuel, keeps another car off the road, saves me an hour.

Am I being a lazy tightarse or have I got a point ?

oldsplice

In my day, we had to bus/train/walk wherever we wanted to go. My parents NEVER drove us anywhere (when all this was fields and in black and white! ).

BLU

iTrader: (27)

I'm completely with you there. Its fine to run them places occasionally but kids need to make the effort once in a while and not rely on getting lifts all the time! It was his decision to go to his mates so I don't see the harm in him having to find his own way there (how old btw?)

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

4






no, 15

Simon C

Tell him to get his lazy arris into gear and do something for himself. My parents despite 2 cars, never drove me anywhere unless it was a fishing match miles away. Rest of the time it was bike, foot or bus.

Blue by You

iTrader: (23)

No harm in a bit of tough love at times mate.
No harm in taking the bus if it's an easy option.
No harm in being a bit lazy once in a while either

oldsplice

15?? 15??? I'm surprised he's got time to go to his mate's when he should be up a chimney!

legb4rsk

Kids will always go for the easy option.
When we were snowed in the other week,my daughter (17) who usually complains if she has to be dropped of 10 yards short of her destination, said she wanted to go to her friends house as she was bored with being off school.
I told her there was no way I would drive her as the road conditions where bad & the route has many steep hills (North Downs).
She said ''that's ok I will walk.This was a 3 mile walk in 6 inches of snow & iit was still snowing.She phoned 2 and a half hours later & said she was ok & the walk wasn't that bad!!!

pimmo2000

iTrader: (6)

My mum couldn't drive and my dad never gave us a lift anywhere.. he used to drop my mum off at work and we would ask if we could go round the roundabout at the bottom of the road .. he would always just turn in the road and stop .. bit of a ***** really ..

dpb

Should have made him shine your boots for the 2 pound twenty , that would have given him the incentive to decide whether he wanted to go , or not




























.. hasnt he got a motor bike ?

Lady Luck

I used to get lots of lifts, but to be fair, I'm a girl and we lived in the countryside so buses were few and far between to be hanging round a bus stop alone. They used to run me and pick me up from work when i was 16 too bless them. The way they saw it, was more peace of mind to know i got places safe and sound and had a safe route home.

I'd always get a bus if i was going out to the town or to meet mates on the weekend / holidays / day times like, it was great getting the bus, it was a big adventure.

Had we lived near town and a better bus route I expect it would have been alot different.

And in all that time, I never had to ask for the lifts, they just did it so I didn't get much choice

chocolate_o_brian

iTrader: (22)

J4CKO, I'd be more worried about your Mrs undermiming you and being to soft with the kids. 15 is plenty old enough to use a bus/train/tram/push bike etc.

When I was a kid my mums then husband was a right **** with the car, never taking us anywhere unless it was to drag us on the weekly shop. I would either walk or pushbike within a 10 mile radius and come about 15 was old enough to use the train for my first trip to Meadowhall (40 miles or so).

Be strong and give her a punch

David Lock

We don't live out in the sticks but even so buses are appalling. Plus I didn't trust kids riding on busy country lanes so I usually gave them a lift. Sleepovers were quite common as I moaned if I had to collect late at night which meant I couldn't have my evening pint Mean parent's trick of the day was to get in early and volunteer to take another kid and then that parent would collect

In OP's case bus is the answer.

I used to hitch-hike at that age....

dl

Hysteria1983

I see no problem, your the dad, not a taxi driver.

I never got ferried anywhere, and despite needing to get the bus to most places, I had to walk as my parents didn't give us pocket money.
My dad didn't have a car for years or a drivers license (he had a motorbike), so he couldn't take us anywhere anyway.

j4ckos mate

tell him to get a job the lazy ****


weve had sallys mate for tea last night and the night before,

she was on for staying tonight so we vollied her,


i have been to didsbury to pick sally and her mate up from the pics, but a thirty mile trip is out of the question.

if it mattered to him that much he would have gone on his bike, or his mates parents could fetch him back.

sometimes weve had to do a lot of the running around with kids mates, now we try and keep it to an absolute minimum.

David Lock

Does Elton have a car? Could be a problem there..............

dl

Ant

15 and he's relying on lifts?

mart360

My mum dosent drive, so it was walk or pushbike for me

Bought my first car at 16, and passed my test at 18

Used to walk a mile and a half to school each way when i was 11, and walked

the same to work at 16.


My other half is the same with our youngest, runs him anywhere ( after all

he is only 8 ) while i'm from the old school of it never did me any harm

Mart

FlightMan

My parents never had a car. I walked, biked, or bused myself around. Let him get on with it, kids are pampered way too much these days, IMHO.

njkmrs

My mum and dad never had a car so I cycled everywhere .
Having said that my 11 yr old started a paper round in September and I drive him round it !!!! And me and the wife even did it for a week when he was ill !!!

Having said that he has just bought himself a new bike with the £500 he had saved up,which saves me having to buy it for him .I want him to earn his money.My daughter of 14 has no concept of how money is hard to come by and expects lifts here there and everywhere constantly and recently had £30 quid of my wife to buy her boyfriend a Xmas present .

I have asked the wife to refuse lifts for her at times ,especially when we want to relax at night and have a drink .

So in answer to your question ,yes it is right to refuse and regularly I would say .

Lisawrx

iTrader: (1)

I wasn't given lifts very often. When I was 'too young' to go places alone, Mam would walk me, once I was old enough to be trusted, I would get about perfectly fine by myself (or with mates). I quite liked the independence.

The only time I'd ever really get lifts, was if I was going to be out later at night. I think that was because of being female, to make sure I was back home ok. I don't remember my brother being picked up like that.

I'm not sure where all this giving lifts all the time has come from... especially to school, when the school is within easy walking distance. Unless there is a good reason not to walk, it just seems lazy to me.

Jaybird-UK

I would have exchanged a lift for a couple of dog walks from him

stevebt

iTrader: (8)

He could be 15 or 35 but as long as your his dad their will always be times he will be asking for lifts

Jamz3k

I lived in the middle of nowhere when I was younger and my Dad always told me if i ever needed lifted it was no problem whatsoever and to be honest I never took the **** until......


One night at 4 in the morning I was stuck in Larne after coming home from Planet Love. Off my head I rang my Dad and whilst waiting for him double dropped 2 e's into me. By the time he came I was in full swing. Worst car ride i've ever had, I can just remember gripping onto the dashboard for dear life and feeling as though we were doing 10000mph and I freaked out. When I got in the door my dog jumped up on me and i though it was a monster and freaked out again falling over the sofa n all.

My Dad never spoke of this to me afterwards and i don't think he told my mum but I never asked for another lift after that.

Leslie

I think you are right. They have to learn to stand on their own two feet, it will do them good to have to act for themselves.

Les

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

Well, wife got round it by us going to Tatton park to walk the Dog which has one side in Knutsford, so we dropped him off, she made a complete faff of dropping him off, I suggested dropping him on one side of the road so he could walk the 1/4 mile but she decided to go round the roundabout (long wait) and drop him on the other side in a crap position where she then couldnt pull out as there was no visibility, then went back through the one way, was biting my tongue, he could have walked from the car park !

So, now he is over there and I will have to get him, I have made it clear next time he gets the Bus as she arranges it and then sends me !

Through next year its the Bus, from spends and if he cant afford it he doesnt go, end of, sick to the **** of having to just dole out extra money all the time and get called tight if I dont !

room 512

Reminds me of a similar story that happened to one of my Dad's mates. He'd agreed to pick up his son (mid 20's) in Leeds after his Christmas party. Was there on time for him, lad arrives and jumps into the back (there's only his Dad in the car). Anyway his Dad sets off for home and asks the usual questions, have you had a good time? Food good? A lot to drink? etc. and his lad answers them all but finishing all the answers with "mate". They arrive home and as his Dad pulls up outside his lad is fiddling with his wallet wanting to know how much he owes - he was so p1ssed he thought he was in a taxi! Not sure how much his Dad took off him but he still gets the p1ss taken to this day!