Jesus knows you're here
21 October 2010, 01:38 PM
#1
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Jesus knows you're here
Jesus knows you're here...
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.'
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.
When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'
Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.
Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.
'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you.'
The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'
'Moses,' replied the bird.
'Moses?' the burglar laughed.
'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'
'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.'
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.
When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'
Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.
Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.
'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you.'
The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'
'Moses,' replied the bird.
'Moses?' the burglar laughed.
'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'
'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'
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21 October 2010, 03:58 PM
#8
I never usually forward 'racist' jokes however, I could not help but laugh at this one........
*If you are easily offended do not read any further*
My Nan rang me yesterday and said that she had kindly knitted me a jumper for my birthday (as you can imagine I tried to hide my contempt at the prospect of yet another woollen monstrosity).
I went to collect it today and when my Nan proudly presented with the said garment, I was instantly horrified.............
Across the front of the jumper in large letters said 'I hate Pak*s'!
I said;
"Nan............I can't wear that..........................it's green........."
*If you are easily offended do not read any further*
My Nan rang me yesterday and said that she had kindly knitted me a jumper for my birthday (as you can imagine I tried to hide my contempt at the prospect of yet another woollen monstrosity).
I went to collect it today and when my Nan proudly presented with the said garment, I was instantly horrified.............
Across the front of the jumper in large letters said 'I hate Pak*s'!
I said;
"Nan............I can't wear that..........................it's green........."
21 October 2010, 06:29 PM
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