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cant beat a good paddy joke :-)

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Old 18 October 2010, 10:46 PM
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AndyUkImpreza
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Default cant beat a good paddy joke :-)

Paddy's wife has never had an orgasm, so they decide to go see a doctor to find out why. After a number of tests, the doctor suggests Paddy's wife may be over heating during sex and recommends they buy a fan for the bedroom.

Paddy refuses to buy a fan and decides to get his mate round to waft a towel on them during sex. After about 20 minutes of wafting and still no orgasm, his friend suggests a swap. "I'll **** her, you waft the towel" he says.

Paddy agrees and within seconds Paddy's wife is screaming in pleasure and has the best orgasm ever.

Paddy pats his mate on the back and says "....and that my old son, is how you waft a ****ing towel!"
Old 19 October 2010, 08:00 AM
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SwissTony
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Old 19 October 2010, 11:13 AM
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Trout
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I could have sworn that BigSinky would have turned up at any moment!
Old 19 October 2010, 11:18 AM
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Tea on keyboard moment
Old 19 October 2010, 01:14 PM
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Love that one, thanks
Old 19 October 2010, 04:11 PM
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Leslie
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Originally Posted by AndyUkImpreza
Paddy's wife has never had an orgasm, so they decide to go see a doctor to find out why. After a number of tests, the doctor suggests Paddy's wife may be over heating during sex and recommends they buy a fan for the bedroom.

Paddy refuses to buy a fan and decides to get his mate round to waft a towel on them during sex. After about 20 minutes of wafting and still no orgasm, his friend suggests a swap. "I'll **** her, you waft the towel" he says.

Paddy agrees and within seconds Paddy's wife is screaming in pleasure and has the best orgasm ever.

Paddy pats his mate on the back and says "....and that my old son, is how you waft a ****ing towel!"
Thats a good one alright!

Les
Old 19 October 2010, 04:20 PM
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Lee247
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The priest in a small Irish village ,loved the rooster and his ten hens that he kept in the hen house at the back of the church.
One sunday morning,before mass ,he went to feed the birds ,and discoverd that the **** was missing.
He new about the **** fights in the village,so he decided to question the parishioners in church.
During the service he aske them,has any one got a ****?
ALL THE MEN STOOD UP.
No, no, that is not what I meant.has any one seen a ****?
ALL THE WOMEN STOOD UP.
No,no he said,thats not what I meant.Has anyone seen a **** that does not belong to them?
HALF THE WOMEN STOOD UP.
No, no, no,thats not what I meant has anyone seen MY ****?
Sixteen alter boys,two priest's and a goat stood up.

THE PRIEST FAINTED.

(sorry, it's an old one)
Old 19 October 2010, 05:17 PM
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Jamie
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Paddy
"Mick, why do scuba divers always fall backwards into the water?"
Mick:
" Don't be feckin stupid Paddy, if they fell forwards they'd still be in the boat!"


Not irish
At first I thought the sunglasses and counselling being offered to the Chilean miners was a bit OTT.

Can spending months in a deep, dark, smelly hole really leave you blind and with mental problems?

Then I remembered Harvey Price.

*Gets goat*
Old 21 October 2010, 10:30 PM
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AndyUkImpreza
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Paddy & Murphy are working on a building site.

Paddy says to Murphy 'Im gonna have the day off, I'm gonna pretend I'm mad!'

He climbs up the rafters , hangs upside down & shouts 'I'M A LIGHTBULB! I'M A LIGHTBULB!'

Murphy watches in amazement!

The Foreman shouts 'Paddy you're mad, go home.'

So he leaves the site.

Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well.

'Where the hell are you going?' asks the Foreman.

'I cant work in the friggin dark can I ! ' says Murphy
Old 21 October 2010, 10:30 PM
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AndyUkImpreza
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Paddy and Patrick were sitting in the front room. Paddy was eating a bag of doughnuts. Patrick says "Hey Paddy if I can guess how many Doughnuts you have left can I have the rest?"

Paddy says "Ok if you can guess how many I have left il give them both to you"

Patrick replies "Ok than, 4?"
Old 21 October 2010, 10:44 PM
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Trout
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Originally Posted by Jamie
Not irish
At first I thought the sunglasses and counselling being offered to the Chilean miners was a bit OTT.

Can spending months in a deep, dark, smelly hole really leave you blind and with mental problems?

Then I remembered Harvey Price.

*Gets goat*
Who's Harvey Price and why does he have a goat?!
Old 22 October 2010, 05:27 AM
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dpb
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How much do you reckon oakley paid to get their sunglasses on those miners faces btw . . .
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