My next Interview....
05 October 2008, 11:25 AM
#1
My next Interview....
Text time I go for a job interview, I am going to use a few tips I have picked up off the telly,
1/ If they say no I am going to shout a lot and get right in their face, telling them how they havent seen the last of me and how big I am going to become without their help, a massive Fat, bald bloke will have to escort me out.
2/ I am going to make little faux prayer gestures every couple of minutes.
3/ I will hug at least one of the interview panel and pretend to be overawed to be meeting "the" IT manager and explain how much of a fan I am, putting my hands over my mouth a lot.
4/ I will explain how our dog tragically died earlier in the year and have some appropiately melancholy music playing on my phone.
5/ I will explain how tough my life is due to J4cko's mate requiring round the clock care with Patience by Take That playing on my phone.
6/ I will start crying and say its all I have ever wanted <insert name of interviewer>
7/ If that fails I will fall on the floor and cry a bit more.
8/ If it goes well, I will run into reception shouting YESSSSS, punching the air and hugging anyone who happens by, making them jump around like a **** as well.
9/ I will wear a ***** looking Beanie cap and jeans that hang six inches below my **** or quiff my hair like a Junior estate agent.
10/ I will ask if singing "Valerie" by the Zutons (Amy Winehouse more recently) in a F*ckin horrible screechy voice in a most overdone manner will help my changes of securing the role as Database Administrator.
11/ At the second interview, if I get there I will swagger round like I am already a director of the company.
1/ If they say no I am going to shout a lot and get right in their face, telling them how they havent seen the last of me and how big I am going to become without their help, a massive Fat, bald bloke will have to escort me out.
2/ I am going to make little faux prayer gestures every couple of minutes.
3/ I will hug at least one of the interview panel and pretend to be overawed to be meeting "the" IT manager and explain how much of a fan I am, putting my hands over my mouth a lot.
4/ I will explain how our dog tragically died earlier in the year and have some appropiately melancholy music playing on my phone.
5/ I will explain how tough my life is due to J4cko's mate requiring round the clock care with Patience by Take That playing on my phone.
6/ I will start crying and say its all I have ever wanted <insert name of interviewer>
7/ If that fails I will fall on the floor and cry a bit more.
8/ If it goes well, I will run into reception shouting YESSSSS, punching the air and hugging anyone who happens by, making them jump around like a **** as well.
9/ I will wear a ***** looking Beanie cap and jeans that hang six inches below my **** or quiff my hair like a Junior estate agent.
10/ I will ask if singing "Valerie" by the Zutons (Amy Winehouse more recently) in a F*ckin horrible screechy voice in a most overdone manner will help my changes of securing the role as Database Administrator.
11/ At the second interview, if I get there I will swagger round like I am already a director of the company.
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