DRUNKNORGY

I was a witness to an accident yesterday evening on the Bishops Cleeve bypass North of Cheltenham. Was on my Bike heading into Cheltenham and it was raining so I was taking it steady. Came past Zurich Financial Services Entrance and an old Land Rover was turning right across the single carriageway road into a farm machinery centre a bit further up. The Land Rover stopped because of a line of cars coming the other way and there was a Vitara and a 5 door Fiesta behind him.
The Vitara squeezed through on the inside and for some bizzare reason the Fiesta, instead of following the Vitara, decided to overtake the Land Rover on the outside. The Fiesta pulled into the oposite lane straight into the Path of a Vectra coming the other way and they hit head on before the fiesta had covered half the length of the Land Rover which was stationary. The Vectra was doing 35-40, the Fiesta was doing 10-15 and the impact shunted the Fiesta back 20-30 feet. The rear seat passenger in the Fiesta had a bad cut on his head, was bleeding all over the place was strapped to a spine board before getting carted off in the Ambulance(I guess he wasn't wearing a seatbelt), and the other passenger in the front of the Fiesta and the driver of the Vectra went into shock. The driver of the Fiesta (20-25) who caused the accident seemed to escape without injury. Shook me up a bit cos I was directly behind the Fiesta. It concerned me that It took the Emergency services 1/2 hour to turn up and fortunately there was a Nurse a couple of cars behind me to tend to the worst. Blocked the road for an hour and will probably make the local rag today.
Crash test dummies spring to mind. Even on four wheels you are vulnerable.

[Edited by DRUNKNORGY - 10/2/2002 2:15:37 PM]

Jolly Green Monster 2

Saw something funny yesterday on the way to work.. on a dual carrigeway they have small laybys about the size of a car, which I believe are so that a lorry can swing round when turning across the central reservation, as it is a small dual carrigeway with no barriers etc..
A woman obviously saw the start of said layby and thought it was a full size layby and proceeded to indicate left, pull into the layby and then launch her 306 a couple of feet off the ground as it went up the small bank on the far side, and then snaked like a b4stard and came to a rest about 4 car lengths past the layby, on the grass verge with grass and dirt flying everywhere. No one hurt but I bet she was shaken..
Shouldn't laugh at her mistake and could have been alot worse but it was a bit obvious!

Anyone else seen or done anything silly and amusing?

JGM

SiPie

Years ago, rwd cortina crusader 2.0, heh heh....

Arranged to pick up mates in Penicuik at the bus stop, they along with about another 10 folk, watched in amazement as I stupidly gave it too much on a slightly drizzly day, back end hanging way out (which was sort of planned and I thought it would look cool!). It then snapped back into line propelling me through the flowerbeds outside a health centre. I trundled through the flower beds, back onto the road, did a u turn in Tescos or whatever and picked them up.
The look on the other folks faces at the bus stop as I still had plenty of shrubs in the front lip.
Absolutely stupid and embarassing and thank god I didn't hurt anyone (could have ploughed straight into bus stop). No wonder we paid high premiums when we were younger!!!

alcazar

iTrader: (2)

Years ago, sat on a taxi rank on the High street in Scunny.
Where I'm sat is one way, just up thr road is an island which divides the street, allowing traffic from the other direction to filter left, not go straight on.
Down the street comes "Mr B. Racer", Nova, thumping music, going like a bat out of hell. All stop to watch him as he ploughs THROUGH the island, front end takes off about 3 feeet into the air, finally coming to rest opposite the rank.
All the taxi drivers get out and give him a round of applause!
He then reverses off the right way, one front wheel pointing at 2 o'clock, and the other at 10 o'clock.
Brightened up an otherwise boring shift.
Alcazar

NickAdams

iTrader: (5)

LOL @ Si's story!!!
Had a mate who had just passed his test at 18 ish and had a Mark 2 Escort estate.It had broke down so he phoned his mum to come and get him and tow him home.She turned up in a Ford Granada,hooked himself onto the back of it and let his mum tow him.Dozy git was in his Escort behind her but had taken his keeps outta the ignition so at the first turning where she turned he simply went straight on into another car!!!
Young drivers uh?

Nick

tinvek

about 8 years ago so past 30 and no excuse of being young and inexperienced just brain fade in mother's rover 820 (was waiting for new turbo on my lancer 2000 )


was going to bangor from anglesey and as i wanted to park near the dock and didn't fancy the traffic i went round bangor on the *** following a car which i can't remeber now. any way he turns off at the same junction i want and then turns same way for bangor. now he's been doing a fair speed and left me at the junction while i waited for traffic to go round the roundabout. anyway i carry on and if anyone knows the road towards penrhyn castle they'll know that youve a nice downhill straight of about 4 - 500m.so i see this other car and for some reason assume he'll be going the way i am since he's been going same way for so long and he'll be speeding.i look at radio and then look up to discover that he's stopped and waiting to turn right whilst a long line of cars go past !

now im doing about 100, its a gentle downhill slope and its in early september and drizzling ie slippery. i knew i wasnt going to stop even before i hit brakes, hit the brakes and they lock, ease off, try again same thing etc etc so as everything goes into slow mo i start considering options

1, go past - cars coming other way so no
2, stay behind him - not going to stop will hit him so no
3, go to left - no room betwen him and kerb so no
4, wish i was somewhere else - had its attractions but didn't work
5, turn left into (high) kerb and then grass verge - hmmmm seems safest way out but high kerb will make a mess and after wheels have hit it i might hit the fence or the bloody street lamp i just noticed but it seems safest

having commited to the last option i decided to wait till last second so i could loose as much speed as possible and then a miracle! theres a low kerb for an entrance to a field so i run my left wheels on to the verge through this and pass this poor sod and the street lamp at about 30 with two wheels on the grass and two on the road before bumping back on the road and on to bangor trying to look cool whilst in reality doing a good impression of shakin stevens having a fit

marty_t3

I made a complete **** of myself one day on the way from Greenock to Largs. It's a nice twisty back road and i was young and stupit.

I had my moms 1 litre nissan micra and was hounding along this back road. I knew the road really well as i used to cycle on it 3 days a week (back when i was fit). I came to a bend that i knew tightened on itself so i adjusted my speed accordingly... but not enough. I ploughed across the road and hit a small grass verge on the other side causing the car to literally skip round 180 degrees. The car ended up with the back wheels hanging off the end of a very steep drop...another few feet and i'd have been rolling/tumbling down a hill for a few hundred yards.

Fortunately a passer by (nice local farmer bloke in a landrover) gave be a pull back onto the road. I checked the car over and it appeared unharmed by my stupidity. I thanked him and set off on my way again.

Not wanting the episode to phase me i convinced myself that i should hound it down the rest of the road. About 2 miles later i came round a bend and came face to face with a fiesta coming in my direction in the middle of the road. I threw the car hard left to avoid him and just made it past without leaving the road. This unbalanced the car (1 litre micras are not exactly renowned for their handling ability when driven by 19 year old muppets). The car decided it wanted to head for the ditch on the oppisite side of the road again so i turned hard left again to straighten up and promptly put the car into the ditch back on my side of the road.

I clambered out of the ditch and saw the same farmer in his landrover pull in next to my car. After pulling me back onto the road again i thanked him and checked the damage (luckily just a dent in the door, wing mirror hangin off and some very minor scratches on the front arch). I set off on my way with the farmer standing there p1551n9 himself at me.

When i got home later that night i managed to pop the dent in the door back out (leaving only a small crack in the paint) and glued the mirror back on. I went to bed hoping that my mom wouldn't notice the scratches for a few days at which point i could deny all knowledge.

Next day my mom comes storming down the stairs to my room an i know i'm gonna get some serious grief. I almost died when she started shouting.... "Martin...get that car cleaned... it's filthy... there's mud everywhere"

I crashed her car twice in the one day and she screams at me cuz i hadn't washed it.

tinvek

just remembered an one which wasn't really funny but amused everyone that saw it.

we had to pick up a skoda (rear engined thingy not rebadged vw) that belonged to a customer of ours, he'd just written it off in a head on against an old triumph motorcycle. lad on triumph had broken his leg but still managed to pull this poor sod out of the skoda and hit 7 shades of you know what out of him till he was dragged off.

the triumph just needed new forks and a new wheel.

tinvek

just remembered who the skoda owner was.

he's dead now but was the father of that wierdo who killed that old woman in llanfair pg and cut her heart out because he wanted to be a vampire

mattstant

saw a probably pissed up driver late at night go straight on at the end of the a52 island near nottingham
He mounted the island reversed and just drove off

also saw a tosser in London village try to jump the lights (they had just turned red) in a bmw 328 convertible only to be broadsided by a big box van who had gone on the amber light.
The BM was spun 360 across the junction and the driver jumped out and instead of checking if the van driver was ok (he was) just stood staring at the damage to hid precious BM with his head in his hands.

sempers

Driving up a mountain in wales in my old 1972 triumph toledo (first car), in the *snow* he comes upon a stretch of road that turns right up a big hill covered in sheet ice after going along the shore of a lake...

After failing at the first attempt, he takes a bald headed run at it, hooking the grass on the inside of the right to get round the corner with a bit of speed on. Pretty audacious, I should have fallen off at that point, but I got 1/2 way up before momentum ran out..........

What goes up must come down

I kid you not.. sheet ice all over, and a lake behind me. Damned lucky I didn't drown the car - it stopped on the beach.

- Mark.

Alpine

There were three of us in a mini and two of us were rather the worse for wear.. and a sensible sober driver.. Anyway we were bombing down this country lane when we come across these road works with flashing lights.. The drunken party convince the driver to pull into a field entrance so we can aquire 'just a few' of the flashing lights. We duly do this then get in the car.. It won't pull out because it's muddy so the driver decides to drive into the field, do a circle and drive put.. So now we're stuck about 100yds in this field... The drunks get put to push and in comic fashion get cover in **** from the front wheels... It was **** too as the farmer had been spreading... We then have to walk a mile to get the farmer to come and tow us out... 35 quid he charged us for the privilege...

Puff The Magic Wagon!

iTrader: (2)

M8 of mine came to courier in London. He had a CX500 with massive windjammer fairing & large side panniers.

Anyway, he was going down a narrow street in Soho on this bike and found that his way was blocked by a lorry. In good courier fashion, he mounts the pavement and rides down it...

Next thing he knows, he's flat on his back & the bike is nowhere to be seen

It turned out that the lorry was delivering beer to a pub and 'cos he couldn't see the cellar door on the pavement was open over his fairing, his bike went straight into it & flipped him over the handle-bars

Luckilly both him and the cellarmen were un-hurt. Took a while to get his bike out!

His biggest mistake was telling the office about it

jasonwrxowner

The old CX500 plastic shaft driven maggot. My first bike. Fond memories.

They all ended up in London village didn't they?

NotoriousREV

A mate of mine had just split up with his girlfriend and they met in their cars on a single track road. Neither would let the other one past, until my mate got pissed off and threw his car into reverse. His car was a Volvo 340 with an early version of a CVT gearbox, so it would do silly speeds in reverse. He basically floored it, and at about 40mph, began to realise why rear wheel steering is not popular on cars. He ended up doing a complete 360 without hitting anything, but he very nearly **** himself.

Devil's Refugee

Had an old Sierra 2.0iS, and coming down the back of John Lewis in Edinburgh towards a roundabout by Picardy Place.
Was at night, so thankfully all was quiet.
Took the roundabout at speed, rear wheels lost grip (must've been an oil spill !) and did a 180 to face some poor old sod in his oncoming car looking at me with abject terror !

Shat myself, but spun the car and drove off unharmed. Laughed about it afterwards, but learnt to control the rear end a lot more effectively after that episode.

what would scooby do

when it was icy we used to go to a carpark and use it as a skid pan. Handbrake turns into parking spaces etc.

The police got wind of this one night and sent up a copper to tell us off.

This was just as I was winding up for a 40mph broadside spin across the carpark.

me doing 40mph, just got handbrake and opposite lock going, when mr thick plod jumps out at me with his hand in the air shouting halt. He had to dive out of the way, and I went completely out of control, ended up on a crazy golf course aftyer skidding up and over an embankment. Mr plod walked over and shouted "I know what you where doing" and then left - which just cracked me up !!!!

Jolly Green Monster 2

I suppose I best add a couple of my own now then..

Had a Mark 1 MR2 and was driving along on an icy road..
at about 15mph.. the road surface changed and it no longer looked icy.. so I did the usual test and floored it.. literally on and off the accelerator.. bad move as the back stepped out and despite me steering into it it went sideways down the road front clipped a tree and it span 360degress and continued in the direction I was already going.. lucky it was early in the morning and the road was therefore empty.

I then thought that there cannot be much damage, so switched off the lights (pop up lights) and thought if they both go down and back up again then it cannot be that bad.. one went down.. one came back up! doh!!
Continued to work as I was not going to stop in this country lane to check incase someone hit me.. stopped at next safe place and the front wing had a nice tree shapped dent in it and had pushed against the pop up headlight.

Also did a 360 in a carpark which had slippery tarmac early one morning, drove in put car on full lock to go down to the right to a shop and floored it and round it went... after this I got the car repaired and learned to drive it properly!

JGM

Chrisgr31

I was heading south down the A217 which is a dual carriageway and the guy in front of me wanted to take the left to Epsom, at the lights.

Well he must have misjudged his speed or thought the lights which were red with someone waiting at them were going to change. It was patently obvious he wasn't going to stop so he tried mounting the centrl reservation which didn't have a barrier. This was partially succesful except at the end of the central reservation there was a signpost, and rather than knocking the signpost flat his car drove up it. As I was going straight on and the lights were green for me I missed seeing how he got out of hi car the drovers door being aboiut 4ft up in the air, let alone how he got his car back down on the ground.

From my view it appeared he had done no damage to his car or the signpost.

super_si

Some of these are priceless

jasonwrxowner

I hit a CORNER ONCE.

:d

Jolly Green Monster 2

Was waiting for a muppet to do that..



JGM

MarkO

Christmas day about 5 years ago we headed over to my girlfriend's parents house at about 9am. As we drove along the dual carriageway, we saw a guy standing by the road looking a little upset but slightly perplexed.

As we got closer we were able to see the front 18" of a silver TVR poking up from the bank beside the dual-carriageway. The plate was brand new, and the car sparkling - by the looks of it, the guy had got his Chrimbo Present early, taken it out for a spin, and misjudged the exit of a roundabout, doing a full 360 and sliding down the bank backwards.

Jolly Green Monster 2

Saw a funny one last ngiht..

Approaching a set of lights, two lanes and everyone is moving to the righthand lane.. there is two cars stopped in the left lane the front one a Cavalier and the second one an Omega.. assumed a small shunt.. as I get nearer I see the driver of the cavalier is stood between the cars in front of the driver of the Omega, one foot on the front of the Omega with his hands beaconing the Omega forward and he is shouting "Come on then.." in a very aggressive manner... then the guy in the black Omega switches on his blue flashy light in his front grill and gets out in full Police Uniform and all... other guys face was a picture!!
Obviously the Policeman must have done something to annoy the other guy though? was also suprized he would risk block himself in by going with 12inches of the car in front.

JGM

Fuzz

better add my cluster **** to this then.

My workshop doors face out onto the large farm driveway with space to turn artics round at the top.
Many moons ago in my then Metro. (that **** box thread I posted last month)
changed the front brake pads, wheels back on, right! lets go for a spin. Razzed it out of the workshop, up the farm drive dust and stones flying, handbrake turn at the top of the yard and razz it back down towards workshop, just getting to doorways.....apply brakes *AHH* didn't pump the pedal up did I...
one pump....two pump.... thre..... WHACK !!.. hit the back of the work shop.
oh well, good excuse to buy the 6R4 body kit now

Andy