Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

 

Chuck Norris can divide by zero

 

Chuck Norris can put a fruit pastille in his mouth without chewing it!!

 

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

 

As an infant, Chuck Norris' parents gave him a toy hammer. He gave the world Stonehenge.

 

Ricky trying to be friends with Chuck Norris

 

Can Chuck also lick his own *****

 

Only if its a matter of life and death, which all cases means other peoples death!!!.....which in turn means No!!

And thats not because he can't ( as there is no such word in Chuck's dictionary), it because theres no need!!

 

The Sherman tank was originaly called the Norris tank until Chuck Norris decided it wasn't tough enough to be associated with him.

The Army, for fear of Chuck Norris, renamed the tank and promised to develop a weapon more fitting of his name. To date, no weapon created has been badass enough to be named after Chuck Norris.

 

The two towers only fell cause Chuck roundhouse kicked them

 

That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups - that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.

Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"

 

chuck norris once visited the virgin islands , they are now calld the islands

 

chuck norris can speak braille

 

chuck norris calender goes strait from march 31st to april 2nd , no one fools chuck norris

 

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

 

A movie scene depicting Chuck Norris losing a fight with Bruce Lee was the product of history's most expensive visual effect.

 

A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.

 

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

 

chuck norris is so quick he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head

 

Chuck Noris has the whole fabric of time and space caught in his beard

 

 

God has a poster of Chuck Norris on his bedroom wall