Terminator X

iTrader: (7)

FPMSL you guys are

TX.

JonMc

iTrader: (51)

Chuck Norris once had three nuts, he lost one, it's now known as Jupiter

Moley

iTrader: (9)

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't **** with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

M444GY

iTrader: (72)

chuck norris will never have a heart attack . his heart isnt nearly foolish enough to attack him !

M444GY

iTrader: (72)

the original title for alien vs preditor was alien and preditor vs chuck norris

(the film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. no one would pay £9 to see a 14 second movie)

a5h

iTrader: (3)

For some, the left ******** is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each ******** is larger than the other one.

a5h

iTrader: (3)

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Guv

iTrader: (8)

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris. ...


Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

a5h

iTrader: (3)

Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

SinnerBugEye

iTrader: (3)

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

a5h

iTrader: (3)

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

SinnerBugEye

iTrader: (3)

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

Moley

iTrader: (9)

Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

a5h

iTrader: (3)

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem: It wouldn't take **** from anybody.

It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.

Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...afraid of Chuck Norris."

M444GY

iTrader: (72)

chuck norris never wet the bed as a child , the bed wet itself out of fear

M444GY

iTrader: (72)

a handicapped parking sign does not signify that the spot is for handicapped people, it is actually infact a warning that the spot belongs to chuck norris and you will be handicapped if you park there .

M444GY

iTrader: (72)

chuck norris puts the laughter in manslaughter

a5h

iTrader: (3)

When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that he is going to ask Chuck Norris for help.

M444GY

iTrader: (72)

on his birthday , chuck norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

a5h

iTrader: (3)

Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

prodriverules

iTrader: (52)

When Chuck Norris was born,every body thought his mum had a ceasarean section but that was the scare from his roundhouse kick

M444GY

iTrader: (72)

chuck norris recently decided to sell his urine as a canned beverage. we know this beverage as redbull

JonMc

iTrader: (51)

Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.

JonMc

iTrader: (51)

Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold. Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.

JonMc

iTrader: (51)

Chuck Norris let the dogs out.

P1 Daveyboy

I was working in the lab late one night when my eyes beheld an eary sight it was Chuck Norris and not the monster mash

JonMc

iTrader: (51)

Chuck Norris once invited all of the other badasses from TV to duke it out in order to see who was the supreme badass. Only two showed up: Jack Bauer and MacGyver.

P1 Daveyboy

Things not to do on friday 13th offer Chuck Norris out

Guv

iTrader: (8)

What came first the Chicken or the egg????









Neither Chuck Norris was 1st......

Guv

iTrader: (8)

01 Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

02 Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

03 Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

04 If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

05 Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

06 When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

07 Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

08 Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

09 They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take **** from anybody.

10 A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.