Nümptie

Nümptie

Nümptie

planky

Looks like some rivalry here!!!!!!!!!!

ChrisC

I see my ex-wife is writing ad's for Tennants Lager ! ! !

Amen Corner

For the Scots out there:

Qu. You are trapped in a room with a Tiger, a Ratttlesnake and an English football fan. You have a gun but only two bullets, what do you do?
Ans. Shoot the English football fan...........twice.

Qu. What is the difference between an English football fan and a jet engine?
Ans. The jet engine will stop whining eventually.

Qu. What do English football fans and a sperm have in common?
Ans. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

Qu. What do you have when 100 English football fans are buried up to their necks in sand?
Ans. Not enough sand.

Qu. What is the difference between a dead dog on the road and dead
English football fan on the road?
Ans. There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Qu. Did you hear about the English Politician found dead in an English football jersey? The police had to dress him up in women's underwear to save his family the embarassment.

Four surgeons were talking during a coffee break. The first one says, "Accountants are the easiest to operate on because when you open them up everything inside them is numbered". The second one says, "Nah, librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order". The third says, "Try electricians, everything inside them is colour coded". To which the fourth says, "I prefer English football fans, they're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and ***** are interchangeable".

neilbbb

i was in Edinburgh yesterday and expected the jocks to not be that interested in the footie.

Quite surprised to find a good level of support and the odd england shirt seen here and there

Craig Mac21

Hey

What a waste of money the Engerland team and the english FA spending all that money sending those pre madonnas all the way over to Japan to be Average.

The english team have not played well at all.

But the Scots have saved all that money and are investing it in a youth policy

Three new kids start at a new school.

The teacher asks little david what his dad does in front of the class----- What does your dad do David ?
He is an accountant says David

Sarah what does your dad do ?
He is a vet she says

Brian what does your dad do ?
He dances naked at a Gay Bar !!!

Shocked the teacher quickly changes the subject.

Later that day she sees Brian in the play ground and asks him again to which he replies


I am sorry i lied but i was to scared to tell the truth.

Well then what does he do she asks ???

He plays Fotball for England!!!!!

Craig Mac21

And yet another joke for the jocks !!!

What is the differance between an onion and an Englishman????

Your eyes water when you cut up an onion

Only joking folks ;-)