Mark Underwood

Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror, complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling her it was not so, the husband uncharacteristically came up with a suggestion,
"If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."
Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.
"How long will this take?" she asks.
"They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies.
The wife stops,
"Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?"
"Why not?" The husband shrugged. "Worked on your bum, didn't it?"
The husband,he lived, and with a great deal of therapy, may even walk again.....

DrEvil

Robertio

iTrader: (1)

LOL
Should perhaps come with a warning 'don't try this one at home'

RichardH

Anyone got some keyboard cleaner, just spurted tea everywhere.

Very Good. Who's going to tell it to their otherhalf!

Ric

Chris L

Mark

With posts like that you'll be finding your way to the Muppet section...

Chris

Dave T-S

Mark
I'm sure you've got some sort of potion for that....

[This message has been edited by Dave T-S (edited 12 December 2000).]

Chunky

Nice One

muddy

I have not laughed that much in ages!!!!



Muddy.

Mark Underwood

SO THE YANKS THINK THEY KNOW EVERYTHING

This is the actual radio conversation of a US naval ship with
English Coastguard authorities off the Scilly Isles in October
1995. Radio conversation released by the Admiralty.

COASTGUARD: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to
avoid a collision.

AMERICANS: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the
north to avoid a collision.

COASTGUARD: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15
degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

AMERICANS: This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again,
divert YOUR course.

COASTGUARD: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.

AMERICANS: This is the Aircraft Carrier US LINCOLN, the second
largest ship in the United States Atlantic Fleet. We are
accompanied with three Destroyers, three Cruisers and numerous
support vessels. I DEMAND that you change your course 15 degrees
north. I say again, that's one-five degrees north, or
counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this
ship.

COASTGUARD: This is a lighthouse. Your call pse.

AWD

LOL for both jokes....



Time to move to the muppet forum methinks....

Mark Underwood

Theres more here:

The Zohan

Nice One.

My ********* grow sore just at the thought of my other half opening the forwarded e-mail.

Paul


[This message has been edited by Paul Habgood (edited 13 December 2000).]

Mark Underwood

In a train carriage there was an Englishman, a Frenchman, a spectacular looking blonde and a frightfully awful looking fat lady.

After several minutes of the trip the train happens to pass through a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard. When they leave the tunnel, the Frenchman had a big red slap mark on his cheek.

1) The blonde thought :
- "That French son of a bitch wanted to touch me and by mistake, he must have put his hand on the fat lady, who in turn must have slapped his
face".
2) The fat lady thought:
-"This dirty old Frenchman laid his hands on the blonde and she smacked him".
3) The Frenchman thought:
- "That f***ing Englishman put his hand on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me".
4) The Englishman thought:
- "I hope there's another tunnel soon so I can smack that French **** again".

Shaun

Let me guess where this thread is heading!!!!

James_Harvey

How old.......
Check this out, you may find it useful what with it being the party season...