GRRRRR - I forgot how much I hate working on VAG cars
29 May 2009, 08:29 PM
#1
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GRRRRR - I forgot how much I hate working on VAG cars
Bought some vRS suspension for the missuses Octy Ambiente, springs and dampers, front ARB and a Neuspeed RARB and decided to fit them yesterday. First scare was when I looked for the locking nut key and found an empty space. My heart sank, but a quick look under the trims revealed that there wasn't a locker on as we only have steelies. Phew !
So, up in the air she went and front wheels off. Next I looked to see where the top strut nuts were and it looked like the bl00dy wipers might need to come off to get to the nut furthest back, but I just managed to get a ratchet and socket in there. Phew ! I left those whilst I investigated further.
OK, so let's see how the strut attaches to the hub. Bu99er ! A silly bl00dy Torx nut, and a bl00dy big one too ! Right, trip to Screwfix to buy a full set as I'll surely need them at some point in the future. Huff-puff, harumph, groan !
Back from Screwfix and the biggest Torx socket in the kit still isn't big enough. [swear filter] ***** ****** ******* ***** ******* *************** ****** [/swear filter] Sod it, I decided that as time was getting on and I need the car all ready for a trip to Cornwall this weekend that I'd leave the springs and dampers and just fit the RARB.
Aaaah ! More Torx nuts, but this time I have it covered
So, I set about removing the brackets. Cue more swearing ! Two of the nuts snapped trying to remove them 
Right, I thought, time to call in reinforcements. I decided to take the car down to a mates garage to drill out the nuts, so tried removing the ARB from the links.
Here we go again, a handy 16mm standard nut holding it in, great
But no nut at the other side, just a round thing. No chance in Hell of having enough grip from mole-grips, no obvious shoulder to locate a spanner to 
So, I had to drive with the RARB flapping about 
Whilst my mate was sorting that, I thought I'd go pick up my sexy new 18" RS4 alloys
Despite them knowing I was coming, and par for the course today 
they'd not built them up Another wait.
First good news of the day, when I got home my mate called and my car was ready, new RARB fitted
Went and got her and decided I'd pop the alloys on as it was a lovely evening.
Up she went again, steelies off, alloys on. Oh dear, cue more swearing. The nuts only went on by 3 turns, nowhere near enough to be safe. I called the wheel shop and they admitted they should have given me a bag of new nuts with the wheels So, I left them on just finger tight and parked her up for the night.
What a foofing day
So, went (in my Fabia) this morning and got the new nuts and now all is well. The vRS suspension can wait, but the car feels so much better with the 25mm RARB and some very low profile rubber instead of the awful Michelin Energy things with side-walls like a bouncy castle
Nice and flat through the corners, but still floaty on the OE suspension.
Now, when I had my Subaru I managed in just one day, with just a normal toolkit, to remove the full suspension (struts and springs) from one car, and fully adjustable AST race coilovers from another and swap them over. No fancy tools, no snapped nuts, nothing stuck fast. Memories of my pile of poo Corrado flooded back yesterday as every job I ever did on that was a pain in the bum. Even changing the ARB on the Subaru was a doddle, with simple nuts for basic sockets, and they even use a 16mm on one side and a 17mm on the other to make sure you have enough tools in a basic kit.
I bl00dy hate VAG engineering. Silly nuts, bolts and everything else, and most of it too frail to ever remove once fitted without snapping, rounding or seizing so it won't come out or snap any bl00dy way. People have always told me that German cars are built well. Sorry, but after a Corrado, two Fabia's (and yes, I know they're Czech, but not really), and this Octavia I fail to see where that opinion comes from. Gimme Jap-crap any day
So, up in the air she went and front wheels off. Next I looked to see where the top strut nuts were and it looked like the bl00dy wipers might need to come off to get to the nut furthest back, but I just managed to get a ratchet and socket in there. Phew ! I left those whilst I investigated further.
OK, so let's see how the strut attaches to the hub. Bu99er ! A silly bl00dy Torx nut, and a bl00dy big one too ! Right, trip to Screwfix to buy a full set as I'll surely need them at some point in the future. Huff-puff, harumph, groan !
Back from Screwfix and the biggest Torx socket in the kit still isn't big enough. [swear filter] ***** ****** ******* ***** ******* *************** ****** [/swear filter] Sod it, I decided that as time was getting on and I need the car all ready for a trip to Cornwall this weekend that I'd leave the springs and dampers and just fit the RARB.
Aaaah ! More Torx nuts, but this time I have it covered
So, I set about removing the brackets. Cue more swearing ! Two of the nuts snapped trying to remove them Right, I thought, time to call in reinforcements. I decided to take the car down to a mates garage to drill out the nuts, so tried removing the ARB from the links.Here we go again, a handy 16mm standard nut holding it in, great
But no nut at the other side, just a round thing. No chance in Hell of having enough grip from mole-grips, no obvious shoulder to locate a spanner to So, I had to drive with the RARB flapping about Whilst my mate was sorting that, I thought I'd go pick up my sexy new 18" RS4 alloys
Despite them knowing I was coming, and par for the course today they'd not built them up Another wait.First good news of the day, when I got home my mate called and my car was ready, new RARB fitted
Went and got her and decided I'd pop the alloys on as it was a lovely evening.Up she went again, steelies off, alloys on. Oh dear, cue more swearing. The nuts only went on by 3 turns, nowhere near enough to be safe. I called the wheel shop and they admitted they should have given me a bag of new nuts with the wheels
So, I left them on just finger tight and parked her up for the night.What a foofing day
So, went (in my Fabia) this morning and got the new nuts and now all is well. The vRS suspension can wait, but the car feels so much better with the 25mm RARB and some very low profile rubber instead of the awful Michelin Energy things with side-walls like a bouncy castle
Nice and flat through the corners, but still floaty on the OE suspension.Now, when I had my Subaru I managed in just one day, with just a normal toolkit, to remove the full suspension (struts and springs) from one car, and fully adjustable AST race coilovers from another and swap them over. No fancy tools, no snapped nuts, nothing stuck fast. Memories of my pile of poo Corrado flooded back yesterday as every job I ever did on that was a pain in the bum. Even changing the ARB on the Subaru was a doddle, with simple nuts for basic sockets, and they even use a 16mm on one side and a 17mm on the other to make sure you have enough tools in a basic kit.
I bl00dy hate VAG engineering. Silly nuts, bolts and everything else, and most of it too frail to ever remove once fitted without snapping, rounding or seizing so it won't come out or snap any bl00dy way. People have always told me that German cars are built well. Sorry, but after a Corrado, two Fabia's (and yes, I know they're Czech, but not really), and this Octavia I fail to see where that opinion comes from. Gimme Jap-crap any day
Last edited by corradoboy; 29 May 2009 at 08:32 PM.
29 May 2009, 10:03 PM
#3
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Who's Tony 
I don't care what size they use, as long as it's a standard hex shaped nut for a traditional socket, like the ones we all already have. And as long as the bl00dy thing will actually come out, not be seized in, then snap I really started to hate my Corrado by the time I got rid, but loved every second of Scooby ownership. I've always done nearly all my own mechanic work, but I really don't know if I can be bothered with VAG crap any more. I really need to get another Subaru 
I don't care what size they use, as long as it's a standard hex shaped nut for a traditional socket, like the ones we all already have. And as long as the bl00dy thing will actually come out, not be seized in, then snap
I really started to hate my Corrado by the time I got rid, but loved every second of Scooby ownership. I've always done nearly all my own mechanic work, but I really don't know if I can be bothered with VAG crap any more. I really need to get another Subaru
29 May 2009, 10:20 PM
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Who's Tony
I don't care what size they use, as long as it's a standard hex shaped nut for a traditional socket, like the ones we all already have. And as long as the bl00dy thing will actually come out, not be seized in, then snap I really started to hate my Corrado by the time I got rid, but loved every second of Scooby ownership. I've always done nearly all my own mechanic work, but I really don't know if I can be bothered with VAG crap any more. I really need to get another Subaru
I don't care what size they use, as long as it's a standard hex shaped nut for a traditional socket, like the ones we all already have. And as long as the bl00dy thing will actually come out, not be seized in, then snap
I really started to hate my Corrado by the time I got rid, but loved every second of Scooby ownership. I've always done nearly all my own mechanic work, but I really don't know if I can be bothered with VAG crap any more. I really need to get another Subaru Been speaking to A Tony about his Skoda and got mixed up
VAG use Torx and multi spline to stop people messing I guess, funny though cause in 15yrs working on Vag cars I've had more bolt seized on, on Jap cars rather than VAG cars. Subaru's are one of the easiest cars to work on for bolt on off though.
29 May 2009, 10:34 PM
#6
Dave. If I send you some anti VAG angry pills, will you take them? VW fited headlamps that necessitated the front bumper being removed to change bulbs on the mk4 Golf (at around £130)
29 May 2009, 10:39 PM
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I have taken said pill, and it has made me all calm and serene, leading me to recall how VAG made the Octavia II headlights come out by removing one thumb nut and pulling a convenient lever which protrudes the light from the bumper for easy removal. They did something right 
Look....
Apparently, there's a little dial which you turn to make them fully Euro compliant too without needing to stick anything on your lights
Look....
Apparently, there's a little dial which you turn to make them fully Euro compliant too without needing to stick anything on your lights
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30 May 2009, 01:28 AM
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It's strange, I'm so used to older German stuff (80's and 90's VAG and BMW) that i don't think twice about attacking major stuff. even an engine change on my Saab 9000 Aero wasn't too big a hassle. Yet one look under the bonnet of my mates Y reg bugeye WRX had me reachng for the valium. Jap stufff scares me! It's all about what you're used to I guess!
Last edited by dome; 30 May 2009 at 01:31 AM.
30 May 2009, 08:37 PM
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Just to cheer you up Dave...
Today I jacked it up and tried to replace the trailing arms.
Wheel off, no space to get a socket in (sill) so stick a Tein coily spanner in and wallop it with a hammer.... REPEATEDLY !
No joy !
Give up put kettle on and sulk !
LOL
dunx
Today I jacked it up and tried to replace the trailing arms.
Wheel off, no space to get a socket in (sill) so stick a Tein coily spanner in and wallop it with a hammer.... REPEATEDLY !
No joy !
Give up put kettle on and sulk !
LOL
dunx
30 May 2009, 08:53 PM
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Steve
30 May 2009, 08:56 PM
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To top it off, earlier today, after being asleep for about 2 hours following my 12 1/2 hour night-shift, the missuse barges into the bedroom waffling about the rear N/S window being stuck down. She'd only hit the button and sent it all the way down with the suction cups for the baby blind still on the glass Popped the handle off to find 4x Torx screws (grrrrr, I hate Torx), two of which were down long narrow tubes in the moulding and the socket wouldn't fit down So, now I need even more tools over and above the trusty ones that have served me perfectly well for 20 years, just because VAG are a bunch of wnakers 
Managed to help the window up and disconnected the switch until I can get the tools and have time to do the job 
Popped the handle off to find 4x Torx screws (grrrrr, I hate Torx), two of which were down long narrow tubes in the moulding and the socket wouldn't fit down So, now I need even more tools over and above the trusty ones that have served me perfectly well for 20 years, just because VAG are a bunch of wnakers Managed to help the window up and disconnected the switch until I can get the tools and have time to do the job
31 May 2009, 07:22 PM
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Next time she's in bed and fast asleep, run upstairs about 2.30am and start screaming about where your underpants are.
Did this with the lovely Nat when I used to work nights and she got the idea after the third attempt.
They just need a little training.
31 May 2009, 08:32 PM
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To top it off, earlier today, after being asleep for about 2 hours following my 12 1/2 hour night-shift, the missuse barges into the bedroom waffling about the rear N/S window being stuck down. She'd only hit the button and sent it all the way down with the suction cups for the baby blind still on the glass Popped the handle off to find 4x Torx screws (grrrrr, I hate Torx), two of which were down long narrow tubes in the moulding and the socket wouldn't fit down So, now I need even more tools over and above the trusty ones that have served me perfectly well for 20 years, just because VAG are a bunch of wnakers Managed to help the window up and disconnected the switch until I can get the tools and have time to do the job
Popped the handle off to find 4x Torx screws (grrrrr, I hate Torx), two of which were down long narrow tubes in the moulding and the socket wouldn't fit down So, now I need even more tools over and above the trusty ones that have served me perfectly well for 20 years, just because VAG are a bunch of wnakers Managed to help the window up and disconnected the switch until I can get the tools and have time to do the job
02 June 2009, 09:24 AM
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If you REALLY want to get the hump with VAG cars, try sorting a failed ball joint on a B5.5 Passat / A6, some bean-counter specified a mild steel bolt to hold the top knuckle joint together.
After 4 years of salt spray, the knuckle joint is a solid rusty lump. You have to remove the top suspension arms, cut through the knuckle joint, replace the arms etc. £400 each side
After 4 years of salt spray, the knuckle joint is a solid rusty lump. You have to remove the top suspension arms, cut through the knuckle joint, replace the arms etc. £400 each side
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