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Old 17 January 2013, 04:57 PM
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alcazar
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Default Right, lets get this done with...

1. A woman has been taken to hospital after eating horse meat burgers. Her condition is said to be stable.

2. Is it only the mini-burgers that contain horse meat? You know, the horse d'oeuvres.

3. Are you in favour of horse meat in your burgers? Yea or Neigh?

4. A Tesco burger walks into a bar and says "Pint please". "I can't hear you" says the barman. "Sorry" replies the burger, "I'm a little bit horse".

5. Those Aldi horse burgers were nice, but I prefer My Lidl Pony

6. Scientist: "Sir, we've discovered horse meat in your burgers." Tesco boss: "Why the long face?".

7. There was an old woman who swallowed a horse, she'd been to Tesco, of course.

8. I really hope they launch a steward's inquiry into the Tesco horse meat scandal. We must find out hoof to blame.

9. Horsemeat has been found in Tesco Products but a spokesman says it's all bollocks.

10. I get all my horse meat from an independent dodgy butcher.

11. Has anyone tested Tesco's veggie burgers for uniquorn yet?

12. 29% of the meat content in Tesco's hamburgers turns out to be horse. No wonder they gave me the trots!

13. Horse meat in Tesco burgers: it's been in there a fur-a-long time!

14. Best burger recipe: mince meat, garlic powder, paprika, fresh herbs, an egg and fine diced stallions ... I mean ... scallions.

15. Two Tesco burgers please.. hold the dressage.

16. Just found some out of date burgers... and they're off!

17. I got fired from the meat factory because I got an e-mail about a delivery of horse meat and I marked it as spam.

18. Apparently there's a poll of Tesco's customers to find their opinions on horse meat ... conducted of course by Gallup.

19. So horse meat has been found in Tesco burgers. What's next? Traces of zebra in barcodes?

20. Tranquillisers: every little helps.

21. You can lead a horse to the industrial size meat grinder, but you can't sell him in Tesco.

22. Good thing about these horse puns is it's stopped all the sick Jimmy Saddle jokes.
Old 17 January 2013, 05:02 PM
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ditchmyster
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Like it.
Old 17 January 2013, 05:05 PM
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Old 17 January 2013, 05:09 PM
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Worlasshasansti
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Someone had to put it all in one place

Mick
Old 17 January 2013, 05:26 PM
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Frankelly I've had enough of the horse puns
Old 17 January 2013, 05:40 PM
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Old 17 January 2013, 05:58 PM
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hodgy0_2
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can't see the one about the burger and salad dressage
Old 17 January 2013, 06:04 PM
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What a night'mare'.

I'm glad you've regurgitated them on here, rather than the next time I'm round yours, Jeff!
Old 17 January 2013, 06:21 PM
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Ellie*
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It had to be done.!
Old 17 January 2013, 07:02 PM
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alcazar
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Originally Posted by chocolate_o_brian
What a night'mare'.

I'm glad you've regurgitated them on here, rather than the next time I'm round yours, Jeff!
Wait...there's more...I'm storing them up just for you.
Old 17 January 2013, 08:22 PM
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legb4rsk
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Good idea to corral all those jokes in one place but you can't close the stable door after the horse has bolted.

Anyway they have come up with a new slogan,

'Horse Burgers.Fresh from our stable to your table.'
Old 18 January 2013, 11:52 AM
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AndyBaker
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Would you like anything on your burger. Yeah a fiver each way
Old 18 January 2013, 12:50 PM
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Very good , Im quite partial to a filly steak sandwich now and then
Old 18 January 2013, 02:33 PM
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I would prefer the filly not to be surrounded by anything!

Les
Old 18 January 2013, 09:39 PM
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Tesco burgers. 2% Salt. 98% shergar.
Old 19 January 2013, 04:30 PM
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wayne9t9
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My Lidl pony
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