alcazar

iTrader: (2)

.....or your tadger

Yesterday I cleared out the undersink cupboard to fit a new tap.
I left all the cleaning stuff on the side overnight so that I could check the pipework was secure this morning.
No leaks


But meanwhile, wifey had decreed that the stuff should be put away before she got back from her OU tutorial (she is the tutor).

So I started to put it away.
One of the plastic bottles made an odd noise when I picked it up. Being inately curious, (or maybe stupid is a better description), I gave it a squeeze to see if I could tell why it was making funny crackly noises

The bottom promptly burst open emptying the entire contents over my lap and belly

My first thought was "Oh b*gger! Got that to clean up now!"

THEN I thought "Aaaaaaarrrrggghhhh!" as the nasty stuff hit my b@lls and be11 end.

I kid you not, sciatica or no, I have NEVER run so fast as I did to get my jeans and tee off and jump under the shower.

I have been checking my old man hourly ever since.
He SEEMS Ok..........

I just hope my b@lls don't start making that crinkly noise, then explode when I give them a little squeeze

And as for the old bobby's helmet, I'd better not hear any noises from THAT either.

And the worst? NOWHERE on the pack did it say, "Do not apply to private parts."

I hope someone rings me on monday and asks if I've had a nasty personal accident with kitchen cleanser: I could be in the money

chocolate_o_brian

iTrader: (22)

Terminator X

iTrader: (7)

Just an accident you say

TX.

ALi-B

iTrader: (1)

Also don't scratch your ***** after chopping fresh chillies.

Its also a very bad idea to pick your nose too. Especially after handling Habaneros.


(and this is why people don't let me cook )

scubbay

iTrader: (61)

I had a mate once that washed his ***** in thinners to cure the crabs.
Dont know whether it worked or not but he never scratched them afterwards

ScoobyWon't

Who's ***** have you been scratching after you've been chopping chillies?

kingofturds

iTrader: (1)

It's a bit like saying don't put your bollox in a food blender really.

boab74

iTrader: (1)

I hope you finished tidying

Maz

iTrader: (34)

You're turning in to a bit of a Calamity Jane a lately!

alcazar

iTrader: (2)

I have this motto, you see:

"If it CAN go wrong, it will for me."

dunx

iTrader: (3)

So pickling them in OB won't help then ?

Could only happen to you...

dunx

Lee247

Looks like he is taking the crown off ALi

Leslie

That was a pretty nasty accident,good thing you got to the shower quickly.

I will try to remember not to use that stuff on my delicates in future.

Les

Blue by You

iTrader: (23)

Priceless!
Glad to hear no serious harm done

If your crown jewels do burst will you let us know?

Graeme_Curley_STI

What was the actual product that burnt you?? Need to know so I'm on guard next time I'm under the kitchen sink!!!

Also, did this actually burn your sack right through your jeans??

P1Fanatic

Lol reminds me of when I was a teenager at a watersports club in Cyprus. Went to fill up petrol tank for the waterski boat in just my shorts from a jerry can. Was not paying attention and got some splashback over my chest which ran below. Holy crap that was some severe pain for about the next half an hour - no matter how long I stood in the shower

So never dip your tadger in petrol either

cookstar

iTrader: (6)

Was going to mention petrol, I was working under my brothers VW bus, when a petrol line came off and soaked me from the chest down to my knees, I didn't really think much of it and was more interested in getting the line back on. Then the pain kicked in.

Ran into the house stripping off whilst running up the stairs, only to find the MIL was in the bathroom.

Not my finest hour.

jef

iTrader: (13)

also dont put petrol in your eyes - its very painful ime lol

this go through your jeans? or naked house cleaning again?

Funkii Munkii

Detergents, the next step up from rubbing Deep Heat on your old chap when looking for the ultimate orgasm eh ?

alcazar

iTrader: (2)

Jeeeeeeeeeesus no!

And yes, straight through the jeans and the kecks

I DID once try toothpaste on mine as a kid.......also NOT to be advised.

deepy

iTrader: (1)

This sounds like an odd fetish gone wrong - no doubt Mrs Alcazar will be shown this thread as evidence that it "really was an accident".

alcazar

iTrader: (2)

LOL, it was MANY years before I met Mrs Alcazar.

But she would believe it, oh yes.

ScoobyWon't

Did she appreciate it?

I hope she wasn't stripping at the time too!