Mother In Law From Hell
01 July 2011, 06:00 AM
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Mother In Law From Hell
Poor girl. Hope the fella is worth it with a mother in law like that on your hands.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/13973278
My in laws are OK. They just look out for there daughter and rightly so but there faces dropped when I presented my wife with a gift on our wedding day during the speech with the Mum saying " he's brought a nice necklet" to there jaws dropping when it was opened and it was KY Jelly.
And me saying "a ring for a ring" .
Steve
http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/13973278
My in laws are OK. They just look out for there daughter and rightly so but there faces dropped when I presented my wife with a gift on our wedding day during the speech with the Mum saying " he's brought a nice necklet" to there jaws dropping when it was opened and it was KY Jelly.
And me saying "a ring for a ring" .
Steve
01 July 2011, 06:14 AM
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01 July 2011, 09:16 AM
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My mother in law is generally ok, but occasionally the odd little criticism comes back about me dropping the odd "H" or yawning and not covering my mouth, I just nod usually and ignore it as on balance its not much and maybe I do need pulling up occasionally.
This woman seems to be a bit of a cow, well a lot of one, the worst kind of snob and I doubt the girl could have done anything right, she doesnt want he son marrying her as she sees that the girl is not up to her standards, bad luck missus, its not the 1800's any more, she needs to give the girl a chance as different families have different standards and she would need some time to adjust and work round their peccadillos.
The girl perhaps needed to just be a bit more on her best behaviour but like I said, wouldnt have made any difference, she probably thought she felt comfortable enough to behave as she did, nothing wrong with it and better than a terrified house guest apologising all the time, I expect working in London she gets up really early and works long days so when off work has a lie in, I personally am not afraid o say what I do and dont ike, I am not going to eat something that makes me gag just because of etiquette.
Sour faced old harridans like her need to chill a bit and not worry that their precious offspring marry someone to their liking and expectations, just be happy that their offspring like them and think them appropriate, I suspect that if they do get married she wont see much of them anyway !
This woman seems to be a bit of a cow, well a lot of one, the worst kind of snob and I doubt the girl could have done anything right, she doesnt want he son marrying her as she sees that the girl is not up to her standards, bad luck missus, its not the 1800's any more, she needs to give the girl a chance as different families have different standards and she would need some time to adjust and work round their peccadillos.
The girl perhaps needed to just be a bit more on her best behaviour but like I said, wouldnt have made any difference, she probably thought she felt comfortable enough to behave as she did, nothing wrong with it and better than a terrified house guest apologising all the time, I expect working in London she gets up really early and works long days so when off work has a lie in, I personally am not afraid o say what I do and dont ike, I am not going to eat something that makes me gag just because of etiquette.
Sour faced old harridans like her need to chill a bit and not worry that their precious offspring marry someone to their liking and expectations, just be happy that their offspring like them and think them appropriate, I suspect that if they do get married she wont see much of them anyway !
01 July 2011, 09:18 AM
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lol I got the same when I stood up for my speech and said "Hi thanks for coming I'd like you all to meet my first wife Debbie!"
Didn't go down very well!
Didn't go down very well!
01 July 2011, 09:20 AM
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She seems to have had some good points this Mother in law ! as far as i can see
- im damn sure previous generations would have been a whole lot nastier
her only mistake was not securing her email
- im damn sure previous generations would have been a whole lot nastier
her only mistake was not securing her email
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01 July 2011, 09:33 AM
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After reading the full email on sky news link i think the mother has made some very fair points.
Yes email was a bit much. But doesnt sound like the bride to be has much manners.
Yes email was a bit much. But doesnt sound like the bride to be has much manners.
01 July 2011, 10:23 AM
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she is just expressing upper middle class values (which are basically courteousness and commonsense), and I agree with her.
lounging in bed when you are a house guest is the hight of rudeness
I bet she has never taken her children to school in her pyjamas
lounging in bed when you are a house guest is the hight of rudeness
I bet she has never taken her children to school in her pyjamas
01 July 2011, 10:38 AM
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:: This is the full email from Mrs Bourne to Miss Withers:
It is high time someone explained to you about good manners. Yours are obvious by their absence and I feel sorry for you.
Unfortunately for Freddie, he has fallen in love with you and Freddie being Freddie, I gather it is not easy to reason with him or yet encourage him to consider how he might be able to help you.
It may just be possible to get through to you though. I do hope so.
Your behaviour on your visit to Devon during April was staggering in its uncouthness and lack of grace.
Unfortunately, this was not the first example of bad manners I have experienced from you.
If you want to be accepted by the wider Bourne family I suggest you take some guidance from experts with utmost haste.
There are plenty of finishing schools around. You would be an ideal candidate for the Ladette to Lady television series.
Please, for your own good, for Freddie's sake and for your future involvement with the Bourne family, do something as soon as possible.
Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:
When you are a guest in another's house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat - unless you are positively allergic to something.
You do not remark that you do not have enough food.
You do not start before everyone else.
You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.
When a guest in another's house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early - you fall in line with house norms.
You should never ever insult the family you are about to join at any time and most definitely not in public. I gather you passed this off as a joke but the reaction in the pub was one of shock, not laughter.
I have no idea whether you wrote to thank [your future sister-in-law] for the weekend but you should have hand-written a card to her.
You should have hand-written a card to me. You have never written to thank me when you have stayed at Houndspool.
[Your future sister-in-law] has quite the most exquisite manners of anyone I have ever come across. You would do well to follow her example.
You regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhaps you should ask yourself why.
It is tragic that you have diabetes. However, you aren't the only young person in the world who is a diabetic.
I know quite a few young people who have this condition, one of whom is getting married in June. I have never heard her discuss her condition.
She quietly gets on with it. She doesn't like being diabetic. Who would? You do not need to regale everyone with the details of your condition or use it as an excuse to draw attention to yourself. It is vulgar.
As a diabetic of long standing you must be acutely aware of the need to prepare yourself for extraordinary eventualities, the walk to Mothecombe beach being an example.
You are experienced enough to have prepared yourself appropriately.
No-one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.
I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters' marriages.)
If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.
One could be accused of thinking that Heidi Withers must be patting herself on the back for having caught a most eligible young man. I pity Freddie.
It is high time someone explained to you about good manners. Yours are obvious by their absence and I feel sorry for you.
Unfortunately for Freddie, he has fallen in love with you and Freddie being Freddie, I gather it is not easy to reason with him or yet encourage him to consider how he might be able to help you.
It may just be possible to get through to you though. I do hope so.
Your behaviour on your visit to Devon during April was staggering in its uncouthness and lack of grace.
Unfortunately, this was not the first example of bad manners I have experienced from you.
If you want to be accepted by the wider Bourne family I suggest you take some guidance from experts with utmost haste.
There are plenty of finishing schools around. You would be an ideal candidate for the Ladette to Lady television series.
Please, for your own good, for Freddie's sake and for your future involvement with the Bourne family, do something as soon as possible.
Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:
When you are a guest in another's house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat - unless you are positively allergic to something.
You do not remark that you do not have enough food.
You do not start before everyone else.
You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.
When a guest in another's house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early - you fall in line with house norms.
You should never ever insult the family you are about to join at any time and most definitely not in public. I gather you passed this off as a joke but the reaction in the pub was one of shock, not laughter.
I have no idea whether you wrote to thank [your future sister-in-law] for the weekend but you should have hand-written a card to her.
You should have hand-written a card to me. You have never written to thank me when you have stayed at Houndspool.
[Your future sister-in-law] has quite the most exquisite manners of anyone I have ever come across. You would do well to follow her example.
You regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhaps you should ask yourself why.
It is tragic that you have diabetes. However, you aren't the only young person in the world who is a diabetic.
I know quite a few young people who have this condition, one of whom is getting married in June. I have never heard her discuss her condition.
She quietly gets on with it. She doesn't like being diabetic. Who would? You do not need to regale everyone with the details of your condition or use it as an excuse to draw attention to yourself. It is vulgar.
As a diabetic of long standing you must be acutely aware of the need to prepare yourself for extraordinary eventualities, the walk to Mothecombe beach being an example.
You are experienced enough to have prepared yourself appropriately.
No-one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.
I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters' marriages.)
If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.
One could be accused of thinking that Heidi Withers must be patting herself on the back for having caught a most eligible young man. I pity Freddie.
And I agree with previous posters, she sounds like she thinks she is better than her and its clear she thinks that this freddie is too good for her.
Finishing school, WTF? Who goes to finishing school these days?
I think Heidi has done the right thing, even though it was done by others. Distribute it far and wide and put this women up for the ridicule she so richly deserves.
astraboy.
01 July 2011, 11:08 AM
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Totally agree. Most of what she has said is fair. Ok she is a bit posh but it seems a chav is marrying into an upper class family. Queue sitcom.
01 July 2011, 11:08 AM
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Seems like the Mother in law is extremely posh and dare i say a tad "old school" and the bride to be is a chav.. two ends of the scale are never going to get on.
01 July 2011, 11:21 AM
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While I agree that the things Heidi is supposed to have done are most likely to be seen as rude when you first meet a person I would also argue that the most healthy situation that can occur in a marriage is where both sets of parents accept their son/daughter in law as one of their own.
This is the case in my marriage and, as I type, I am sitting in my in laws spare room in bed. Everyone else in the house has been up for hours. When I get up I can/will help myself to whatever food I want and generally treat this place like my own home. It is exactly the same if we go to my parents and exactly the same if either of our parents come to visit us. We are all family FFS, and part of that means we should not have to worry about etiquette and such like.
I've been in a relationship in the past where my g/f's parents were a nightmare and it makes everything soooo much harder. My inlaws are as good as parents to me and that is the best possible way it can be IMHO.
Sounds like this lass would be better off finding someone else. No matter how good the guy is or how much she loves him you are basically signing yourself up to years and years of arguments and hassle if you don't have a good relationship with the inlaws.
All that said, Heidi failed pretty hard if she was acting like this on a first meeting. It obviously takes time to develop a relationship with your inlaws whereby they treat you like a son/daughter and you treat them like a parent.
This is the case in my marriage and, as I type, I am sitting in my in laws spare room in bed. Everyone else in the house has been up for hours. When I get up I can/will help myself to whatever food I want and generally treat this place like my own home. It is exactly the same if we go to my parents and exactly the same if either of our parents come to visit us. We are all family FFS, and part of that means we should not have to worry about etiquette and such like.
I've been in a relationship in the past where my g/f's parents were a nightmare and it makes everything soooo much harder. My inlaws are as good as parents to me and that is the best possible way it can be IMHO.
Sounds like this lass would be better off finding someone else. No matter how good the guy is or how much she loves him you are basically signing yourself up to years and years of arguments and hassle if you don't have a good relationship with the inlaws.
All that said, Heidi failed pretty hard if she was acting like this on a first meeting. It obviously takes time to develop a relationship with your inlaws whereby they treat you like a son/daughter and you treat them like a parent.
01 July 2011, 11:22 AM
#17
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01 July 2011, 04:19 PM
#21
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I disagree, the parts I've bolded are just plain nasty.
This women is a snob of the first order. She sounds like she is stuck in the 19th century.
And I agree with previous posters, she sounds like she thinks she is better than her and its clear she thinks that this freddie is too good for her.
Finishing school, WTF? Who goes to finishing school these days?
I think Heidi has done the right thing, even though it was done by others. Distribute it far and wide and put this women up for the ridicule she so richly deserves.
astraboy.
This women is a snob of the first order. She sounds like she is stuck in the 19th century.
And I agree with previous posters, she sounds like she thinks she is better than her and its clear she thinks that this freddie is too good for her.
Finishing school, WTF? Who goes to finishing school these days?
I think Heidi has done the right thing, even though it was done by others. Distribute it far and wide and put this women up for the ridicule she so richly deserves.
astraboy.
Apologies to anyone whose sensitivities I may have offended with that rather blunt assesment
01 July 2011, 04:27 PM
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While not married, i have been with my missus for 10 years now, and never met her mother.
Her mother was an absolute bellend when i first got with her daughter, not sure why as she had never met me, never spoke to me and never knew anything about me.
I was slagged off, I was banned from the house, and eventually banned from the street!?!
Her father was spot on, i had no troubles with him, while dropping the missus off one night (before i was banned from the street pmsl) he came outside and apologized about her mother
FWIW her father and mother separated within a year or so, which solved the problem, as she buggered off to live somewhere else.
I get along with everybody else in her family amazingly well, always invited to any family events/parties, her mother was out of line, i have no time in my life for arseholes, so i have no intention of ever meeting her, consider the bridge burned.
About 6 years later, her mother was in the local area (we live around 16 miles from her parents) for whatever reason and met up with the missus for lunch at the local pub, her mother was wanting to visit and look around our flat and while this is childish in the extreme, i could not help myself, and i banned her mother from the flat 
It does put the missus in an awkward position, i fully understand that, but revenge is served 6 years late, and i still smile remembering it now.
FWIW it was a further 2 years before she apparently even admitted that she should not have acted like a **** (seriously, is that the best apology you can come up with after 8 years?)
Still never met her, hope i dont ever have to, make yer bed and lie in it......
Her mother was an absolute bellend when i first got with her daughter, not sure why as she had never met me, never spoke to me and never knew anything about me.
I was slagged off, I was banned from the house, and eventually banned from the street!?!
Her father was spot on, i had no troubles with him, while dropping the missus off one night (before i was banned from the street pmsl) he came outside and apologized about her mother
FWIW her father and mother separated within a year or so, which solved the problem, as she buggered off to live somewhere else.
I get along with everybody else in her family amazingly well, always invited to any family events/parties, her mother was out of line, i have no time in my life for arseholes, so i have no intention of ever meeting her, consider the bridge burned.
About 6 years later, her mother was in the local area (we live around 16 miles from her parents) for whatever reason and met up with the missus for lunch at the local pub, her mother was wanting to visit and look around our flat
and while this is childish in the extreme, i could not help myself, and i banned her mother from the flat It does put the missus in an awkward position, i fully understand that, but revenge is served 6 years late, and i still smile remembering it now.
FWIW it was a further 2 years before she apparently even admitted that she should not have acted like a **** (seriously, is that the best apology you can come up with after 8 years?)
Still never met her, hope i dont ever have to, make yer bed and lie in it......
Last edited by StickyMicky; 01 July 2011 at 04:29 PM.
01 July 2011, 04:31 PM
#23
My mother in law is a bit like that, she thinks we should all being skiing, sailing, riding horses and socialising with people calling Hugo and Margo, I have decided that I am who I am, im all right with myself, I earn well, look after wife and kids so can be forgiven the odd dropped H, occasional enjoyment of lower class pursuits, take me or leave me I am not going to do stuff I dont want to look posh, and anyway its all bluster, she just watches loose women and sits on her laptop, kind of middle class values but enjoys pure chav pursuits.
02 July 2011, 12:25 AM
#27
MIL isn't wrong about everything, but I think she is over the top. I think manners are important, but I wouldn't be offended (or make an issue) if someone wanted a lie in or because they didn't write a thank you card....
Dad's reaction was funny though, but I am quite common, so it's hardly surprising I had a little chuckle at this
‘Ever since that meeting, we call her “Miss Fancy Pants”. I think she has her head stuck so far up her own **** she doesn’t know whether to speak or fart.’
Dad's reaction was funny though, but I am quite common, so it's hardly surprising I had a little chuckle at this
‘Ever since that meeting, we call her “Miss Fancy Pants”. I think she has her head stuck so far up her own **** she doesn’t know whether to speak or fart.’
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