Bad Joke Friday
25 February 2011, 08:19 AM
#1
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Bad Joke Friday
Doctor, Doctor. I think I am addicted to Twitter!!
- I'm sorry I don't follow you.
Doctor, Doctor. My acnes so bad my face looks like a pizza!!
- I don't think I'll top that today.
- I'm sorry I don't follow you.
Doctor, Doctor. My acnes so bad my face looks like a pizza!!
- I don't think I'll top that today.
25 February 2011, 09:45 AM
#2
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Oh, go on then ....
Schizophrenics: Sick of those voices in your head?
Simply dye your hair ginger and they won't talk to you.
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Greek, a Russian, an Estonian, a German, an Italian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Serb, a Czech and a Swiss, out on the lash together, tried to get into a night-club.
The doorman stopped them and said,
"Sorry, but you can't come in here without a Thai." ..........................
An old lady catches bus every day and always gives the driver some peanuts
to eat. After a while the driver asked,
'Why do you give me such delicious nuts every day, why not eat them yourself?'
Th old lady replies 'I've got no teeth to munch them'
Driver: 'Then why buy them?'
Old lady: 'I just love the chocolate around them!'
Dave
Schizophrenics: Sick of those voices in your head?
Simply dye your hair ginger and they won't talk to you.
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Greek, a Russian, an Estonian, a German, an Italian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Serb, a Czech and a Swiss, out on the lash together, tried to get into a night-club.
The doorman stopped them and said,
"Sorry, but you can't come in here without a Thai." ..........................
An old lady catches bus every day and always gives the driver some peanuts
to eat. After a while the driver asked,
'Why do you give me such delicious nuts every day, why not eat them yourself?'
Th old lady replies 'I've got no teeth to munch them'
Driver: 'Then why buy them?'
Old lady: 'I just love the chocolate around them!'
Dave
25 February 2011, 05:44 PM
#4
Scooby Regular
A duck goes into a bar...
"Got any bread?"
Landlord replies "No"
"Got any bread?"
"No"
"Got any bread?"
"No"
"Got any bread?"
"No"
"Got any bread?"
"No, we haven't got any bread and if you ask me again I'll nail your fecking beak to the bar you irritating little sh it...!"
"Got any nails?"
"No"
"Got any bread?"
"Got any bread?"
Landlord replies "No"
"Got any bread?"
"No"
"Got any bread?"
"No"
"Got any bread?"
"No"
"Got any bread?"
"No, we haven't got any bread and if you ask me again I'll nail your fecking beak to the bar you irritating little sh it...!"
"Got any nails?"
"No"
"Got any bread?"
@Hodgy.
25 February 2011, 05:52 PM
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I was walking down the road with my posh mate chistopher, when suddenly a woman nicked my phone from my hand, i shouted "chris stop her"
to which he replied " its CHRISTOPHER actually"
to which he replied " its CHRISTOPHER actually"
Trending Topics
25 February 2011, 08:18 PM
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I went to my boss today, and told him that three companies were after me and I wanted a raise in pay. He asked which three companies, so I had to tell him.
The gas company, the electric company and the phone company.
The gas company, the electric company and the phone company.
25 February 2011, 09:05 PM
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man goes the the doctors sayin doc i keep thinking that im a doberman..doc says ok then hop up on the couch and tell me all about it..man says i cant doc im not allowed on the furniture
25 February 2011, 09:14 PM
#12
Not a joke really but in a stupid way funny
For some time many of us have wondered who is Jack Shit?
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says,
You dont know JackShit?
Well,thanks to someone’s efforts you can now
respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Shit is the only son of Awe Shit who
married O Shit.
In turn Jack Sht married Noe Shit The couple
had 6 children: Holie Shit, Giva Shit, Fulla Shit, Bull Shit, and the
twins Deep Sht and Dip Shit.
Deep Shit married Dumb Shit, a high school dropout.
After 15 years, Jack and Noe Shit got divorced
and she married Ted Sherlock and became Noe Shit Sherlock. Meanwhile,
Dip Shit married Lota Shit and had a rather nervous disposition named
Chicken Shit. Fulla Shit n Giva Shit married the Happens brothers in a
double wedding.
The newspaper invited everyone to the
Shit-Happens wedding.
Bull Shit travelled the world and returned
home with an italian bride. Pisa Shit.
So from now on, no one can tell you that you
dont know Jack Shit!
For some time many of us have wondered who is Jack Shit?
We find ourselves at a loss when someone says,
You dont know JackShit?
Well,thanks to someone’s efforts you can now
respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Shit is the only son of Awe Shit who
married O Shit.
In turn Jack Sht married Noe Shit The couple
had 6 children: Holie Shit, Giva Shit, Fulla Shit, Bull Shit, and the
twins Deep Sht and Dip Shit.
Deep Shit married Dumb Shit, a high school dropout.
After 15 years, Jack and Noe Shit got divorced
and she married Ted Sherlock and became Noe Shit Sherlock. Meanwhile,
Dip Shit married Lota Shit and had a rather nervous disposition named
Chicken Shit. Fulla Shit n Giva Shit married the Happens brothers in a
double wedding.
The newspaper invited everyone to the
Shit-Happens wedding.
Bull Shit travelled the world and returned
home with an italian bride. Pisa Shit.
So from now on, no one can tell you that you
dont know Jack Shit!
25 February 2011, 09:52 PM
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25 February 2011, 10:21 PM
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