Fiday funny
17 December 2010, 08:56 PM
#1
Fiday funny
Three blokes are washed up on a desert island and find it's inhabited by a warlike tribe who take them prisoner.
The chief has them brough before him and asks, "You can have death, or kabunga. You!", pointing at the first bloke, "What do YOU choose?"
The guy nervously announces, "I choose kabunga."
"Kabunga!" screams the chief, and immediately 20 braves rush forward and sodomise the poor captive until he can't stand up.
"Next! You!" shouts the chief, pointing at the second bloke, "What do YOU choose?"
The bloke is in a right quandary, but wants to live, so he says, "I too choose kabunga."
"Kabunga!" again screams the chief, and again, 20 braves rush forward and sodomise the guy until he can't walk.
Now it's the last bloke's turn, and is he crapping himself?
"And what do YOU choose?" asks the chief.
The guy can't bear the idea of what happened to the other two, so stands tall and announces in a firm voice, "I choose death!"
"Death!" screams the chief, "But first: Kabunga!"
The chief has them brough before him and asks, "You can have death, or kabunga. You!", pointing at the first bloke, "What do YOU choose?"
The guy nervously announces, "I choose kabunga."
"Kabunga!" screams the chief, and immediately 20 braves rush forward and sodomise the poor captive until he can't stand up.
"Next! You!" shouts the chief, pointing at the second bloke, "What do YOU choose?"
The bloke is in a right quandary, but wants to live, so he says, "I too choose kabunga."
"Kabunga!" again screams the chief, and again, 20 braves rush forward and sodomise the guy until he can't walk.
Now it's the last bloke's turn, and is he crapping himself?
"And what do YOU choose?" asks the chief.
The guy can't bear the idea of what happened to the other two, so stands tall and announces in a firm voice, "I choose death!"
"Death!" screams the chief, "But first: Kabunga!"
17 December 2010, 09:00 PM
#2
Scooby Regular
i thought the punch line was "Death by Kabunga"
anyway
Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation. The black Lab turned to the chocolate Lab and said, "So why are you here?"
The brown Lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I **** on everything....the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."
The black Lab said, "So what is the vet going to do?"
"Gonna cut my nuts off," came the reply from the chocolate Lab. "They reckon it'll calm me down.
"The black Lab then turned to the yellow lab and asked why are you here?"
The yellow Lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owners couch."
"So what are they going to do to you?" the black Lab inquired.
"Looks like I'm losing my nuts too", the dejected yellow Lab said.
The yellow Lab then turned to the black Lab and asked, "Why are you here?"
"I'm a humper," the black Lab said. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, and fence posts, whatever. I want to hump everything I see. Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started hammering away".
The yellow and chocolate Labs exchanged a sad glance and said, "So, nuts off for you too, huh?"
The black Lab said..."No, I'm here to get my nails clipped."
anyway
Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation. The black Lab turned to the chocolate Lab and said, "So why are you here?"
The brown Lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I **** on everything....the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."
The black Lab said, "So what is the vet going to do?"
"Gonna cut my nuts off," came the reply from the chocolate Lab. "They reckon it'll calm me down.
"The black Lab then turned to the yellow lab and asked why are you here?"
The yellow Lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owners couch."
"So what are they going to do to you?" the black Lab inquired.
"Looks like I'm losing my nuts too", the dejected yellow Lab said.
The yellow Lab then turned to the black Lab and asked, "Why are you here?"
"I'm a humper," the black Lab said. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, and fence posts, whatever. I want to hump everything I see. Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started hammering away".
The yellow and chocolate Labs exchanged a sad glance and said, "So, nuts off for you too, huh?"
The black Lab said..."No, I'm here to get my nails clipped."
Last edited by hodgy0_2; 17 December 2010 at 09:02 PM.
18 December 2010, 02:23 PM
#7
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I don't much care for the obligatory Xmas dinner, so I offered to lock down the site instead, takes around 2 hours in total...
The business manager suggested that as I was leaving early ( 75 minutes ! ), would I like to take half a day's holiday...
Merry Xmas to you Biatch !
dunx
The business manager suggested that as I was leaving early ( 75 minutes ! ), would I like to take half a day's holiday...
Merry Xmas to you Biatch !
dunx
Trending Topics
18 December 2010, 05:32 PM
#8
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Posts: n/a
Sorry about the shouting - this is how it arrived .... enjoy!
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND
THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD? WELL...YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE!
MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY
FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DENTAL DIPLOMA,
WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.
SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK HAIRED BOY WITH THE
SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY SECONDARY SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO
COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?
UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.
THIS BALDING, GRAY HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS FAR TOO
OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE. AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED
HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK SECONDARY SCHOOL ...
'YES, YES I DID. I'M A MORGANNER! 'HE BEAMED WITH PRIDE.
'WHEN DID YOU LEAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE?' I ASKED
HE ANSWERED, IN 1965. WHY DO YOU ASK?
'YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!' I EXCLAIMED.
HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.
THEN THAT
UGLY, OLD, BALD, WRINKLED, FAT-ARSED, GREY HAIRED,DECREPIT, ******* ASKED....
'WHAT DID YOU TEACH?
Dave
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND
THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD? WELL...YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE!
MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY
FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DENTAL DIPLOMA,
WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.
SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK HAIRED BOY WITH THE
SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY SECONDARY SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO
COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?
UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.
THIS BALDING, GRAY HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS FAR TOO
OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE. AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED
HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK SECONDARY SCHOOL ...
'YES, YES I DID. I'M A MORGANNER! 'HE BEAMED WITH PRIDE.
'WHEN DID YOU LEAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE?' I ASKED
HE ANSWERED, IN 1965. WHY DO YOU ASK?
'YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!' I EXCLAIMED.
HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.
THEN THAT
UGLY, OLD, BALD, WRINKLED, FAT-ARSED, GREY HAIRED,DECREPIT, ******* ASKED....
'WHAT DID YOU TEACH?
Dave
18 December 2010, 05:52 PM
#9
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i thought the punch line was "Death by Kabunga"
anyway
Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation. The black Lab turned to the chocolate Lab and said, "So why are you here?"
The brown Lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I **** on everything....the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."
The black Lab said, "So what is the vet going to do?"
"Gonna cut my nuts off," came the reply from the chocolate Lab. "They reckon it'll calm me down.
"The black Lab then turned to the yellow lab and asked why are you here?"
The yellow Lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owners couch."
"So what are they going to do to you?" the black Lab inquired.
"Looks like I'm losing my nuts too", the dejected yellow Lab said.
The yellow Lab then turned to the black Lab and asked, "Why are you here?"
"I'm a humper," the black Lab said. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, and fence posts, whatever. I want to hump everything I see. Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started hammering away".
The yellow and chocolate Labs exchanged a sad glance and said, "So, nuts off for you too, huh?"
The black Lab said..."No, I'm here to get my nails clipped."
anyway
Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation. The black Lab turned to the chocolate Lab and said, "So why are you here?"
The brown Lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I **** on everything....the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."
The black Lab said, "So what is the vet going to do?"
"Gonna cut my nuts off," came the reply from the chocolate Lab. "They reckon it'll calm me down.
"The black Lab then turned to the yellow lab and asked why are you here?"
The yellow Lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owners couch."
"So what are they going to do to you?" the black Lab inquired.
"Looks like I'm losing my nuts too", the dejected yellow Lab said.
The yellow Lab then turned to the black Lab and asked, "Why are you here?"
"I'm a humper," the black Lab said. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, and fence posts, whatever. I want to hump everything I see. Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started hammering away".
The yellow and chocolate Labs exchanged a sad glance and said, "So, nuts off for you too, huh?"
The black Lab said..."No, I'm here to get my nails clipped."
I like that one
19 December 2010, 12:19 PM
#10
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Sorry about the shouting - this is how it arrived .... enjoy!
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND
THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD? WELL...YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE!
MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY
FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DENTAL DIPLOMA,
WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.
SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK HAIRED BOY WITH THE
SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY SECONDARY SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO
COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?
UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.
THIS BALDING, GRAY HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS FAR TOO
OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE. AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED
HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK SECONDARY SCHOOL ...
'YES, YES I DID. I'M A MORGANNER! 'HE BEAMED WITH PRIDE.
'WHEN DID YOU LEAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE?' I ASKED
HE ANSWERED, IN 1965. WHY DO YOU ASK?
'YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!' I EXCLAIMED.
HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.
THEN THAT
UGLY, OLD, BALD, WRINKLED, FAT-ARSED, GREY HAIRED,DECREPIT, ******* ASKED....
'WHAT DID YOU TEACH?
Dave
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND
THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD? WELL...YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE!
MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY
FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DENTAL DIPLOMA,
WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.
SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK HAIRED BOY WITH THE
SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY SECONDARY SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO
COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?
UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.
THIS BALDING, GRAY HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS FAR TOO
OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE. AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED
HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK SECONDARY SCHOOL ...
'YES, YES I DID. I'M A MORGANNER! 'HE BEAMED WITH PRIDE.
'WHEN DID YOU LEAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE?' I ASKED
HE ANSWERED, IN 1965. WHY DO YOU ASK?
'YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!' I EXCLAIMED.
HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.
THEN THAT
UGLY, OLD, BALD, WRINKLED, FAT-ARSED, GREY HAIRED,DECREPIT, ******* ASKED....
'WHAT DID YOU TEACH?
Dave
Les
19 December 2010, 01:06 PM
#11
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Man walks in to a saloon and asks the bartender "who's that being hanged up there?", "why, son, that's Paperbag Bill" the bartender replied in his deep Western drawl. "What's he bein' hanged for?" said the stranger, "Rustling" replied the bartender. 
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