Snazy

We get it at work all the time, and have decided the best way to deal with them is let the recorded message play out, press the appropriate button to speak to someone, then hit them with the Airhorn app at full volume......

bigsinky

three words mate

**** away off

Leslie

Put the phone down!

Les

ScoobyWon't

I don't have a phone plugged in to the land line so they'll never get hold of me

Probably not very good for a business though.

Snazy

lol this is just at work, no choice but to answer the phone lol.
Les, how mature
99% of the time we do, but if the timing is right..... PAAAAAAAAAAAAARPH !

alcazar

iTrader: (2)

First, tell them you're REALLY interested, listen for about ten seconds, then announce there's somone at the office door, give me a minute, and put the phone down.
Wait 5 minutes, repeat, only this time the kettle is boiling, etc.
I've NEVER had anyone go beyond 10 minutes yet.

mamoon2

We get quite a lot and i've started handing the phone to my 3 year old son.... We get a lot of calls for a "Mr Bell"... So he now knows to take the phone and say "this is Mr Bell, how can I help you" and continue to spout random sentences until they hang up

Jamz3k

Best bet is to use them as phonesex practice, ask them what they are wearing etc.

Snazy

haha thats so wrong! I like it !

BlkKnight

1. just keep saying "yes" to anything and everything.

2. Sorry, they are dead.

3. We rent.

kingofturds

iTrader: (1)

We used to shake a yogurt by the phone and groan, it sounds like you a cracking one off the wrist usually worked pretty well. When you hear something similar on the other end of the phone it's time to hang up pronto though.

Leslie

The moment you say a single word they never stop talking. Whatever excuse you try to make they will have an alternative.

Best to button your lip I reckon!

Les

Snazy

Haha I love it!

AndyC_772

iTrader: (2)

I'm with you on that Les. For some reason people seem reluctant to exercise this simple, totally effective option, instead feeling compelled to get 'permission' from the caller to end the call. It's not as though getting me out of the bath to try and sell me mobile phone insurance was especially polite or thoughtful to begin with.

At work I get them too, and since I have the company's professional reputation to consider, I (sadly) can't just hang up. So instead I make a point of trying to get the caller off script and out of their comfort zone as soon as possible. I can spot the ones that are full of it a mile away - usually the call goes something like:

"Hello, is that Andy?" (already over-familiar for a cold call, all the slimeballs do this)

"Yes, speaking "

"Hi there Andy, how are you today?" (always comes over scripted and rehearsed)

"Fine, thanks, what can I do for you?" (ie. skip the pleasantries & get on with it)

"I'm calling from <company> and I'll be in your area next week visiting companies like yours...." (confirmed, the guy is full of it)

"Companies that are like ours in what way exactly?" (guaranteed stumbling, shuffling of papers, tries to make something up. My number was just the next one on a list, don't lie and talk b*llocks)

At this point I'll usually ask politely where they got my name, which usually doesn't go down too well either since they have no idea. I'll go on to explain that I don't really have the time for a face-to-face meeting, which is usually perfectly true. Then, inevitably they try and get some of their junk mail to land on my desk...

"Can I put my business card and a catalogue in the post for you to look through? What's your address there please Andy?"

"Does your company have a web site?"

"Yes, of course"

"And is it kept up to date with all your products and services?"

"Yes, it's very good, everything's on there you might need"

"... then there's no need for you to send me a catalogue, then, is there?"

<click>

Lost count of the number of times I've been through this exact same routine - works a treat, every time...

tathan

Yep. I remember seeing Stephen Fry saying why the phone was an incredibly rude device because it essentially screams TALK TO ME TALK TO ME until you do so. Therefore I have no compunction in hanging up (usually accompanied by **** off) if it is unsolicited, it's a very rude practice that I deal with by being rude back

M444GY

iTrader: (72)

the either ask for the old owner of my shop who passed away ... they get the HES DEAD responce from me to which they go "oh im so sorry " then start rabbling on about what they were goin to say anyways followed by the phone being swiftly slammed onto the dock lol

another dude rings me every day and has been for the last 3 weeks and keeps asking for the boss to which i reply hes out at the moment to which they say " when will he be back" and i say tomorrow, and then wait for the call the next day to give the same answer lol


but my mate done the best one ever some guy rang him up during his dinner one evening trying to sell his a conservatory , after about 3 mins or so , the guy was trying to make friends with him and could hear my mates kids in the back round playing. the salesman went " ohh it will be great for the kids and the wife " to which my mate said reallly!! do you have kids and a wife ? the sales man said no kids but i do have a wife, my mate responded with , great ..would she mind if i popped round yours and pulled her **** off the phone went dead after that lol

M444GY

iTrader: (72)

the either ask for the old owner of my shop who passed away ... they get the HES DEAD responce from me to which they go "oh im so sorry " then start rabbling on about what they were goin to say anyways followed by the phone being swiftly slammed onto the dock lol

another dude rings me every day and has been for the last 3 weeks and keeps asking for the boss to which i reply hes out at the moment to which they say " when will he be back" and i say tomorrow, and then wait for the call the next day to give the same answer lol


but my mate done the best one ever some guy rang him up during his dinner one evening trying to sell his a conservatory , after about 3 mins or so , the guy was trying to make friends with him and could hear my mates kids in the back round playing. the salesman went " ohh it will be great for the kids and the wife " to which my mate said reallly!! do you have kids and a wife ? the sales man said no kids but i do have a wife, my mate responded with , great ..would she mind if i popped round yours and pulled her **** off the phone went dead after that lol

+Doc+

We divert them to our premium number and put them on hold until they hang up...might as well make some money out of them

StickyMicky

Usually........
"hi, could i speak with the owner of the business please?"
"is this a sales call"
"umm yeah"
"this number is registered with TPS???????"
<then put phone down>


But if i am bored, all manner of shenanigans will ensure, had one bloke ring me back once, calling me a "****ing time wasting ****"

SiPie

Not interested thanks, goodbye

Will

Ask them who they want to speak to and then go and get them and just leave the phone on side and let them wait for no one

Jaybird-UK

I seem to always be near the computers when they ring so I quickly google a soundboard and see how long I can keep a celebrity talking to them

Borat one is a winner http://www.dailyhaha.com/_soundboard...soundboard.htm

GarethE

iTrader: (1)

I had one call divert from the office to my mobile, cold call trying to sell phone services. As the business owner was on holiday I'm running the show, so the call goes -

Me - "Hello, **name of our company**

Caller - "Could I speak to Mr ****** please?"

"I'm sorry, he's away on holiday at the moment, can I help ?"

"I'm calling to offer a way of reducing your telephone bills" ...... (I butt in)

"I'm sorry, we're not interested, thanks" and put the phone down.

3 seconds later the phone rings again.

Me - "Hello, **name of our company**

Caller - "I thought you said Mr ***** was away on holiday ? What gives you the authority to speak on his behalf ?"

Me - "What the F*** has it got to do with you, F*** O** t*@t !!!!" and hung up.

Unbelievable !

Gareth

mart360

This would be so cool to try out

http://joshualowry.vox.com/library/a...ab8c18e1d.html

Mart :notwo rthy

f1_fan

iTrader: (9)

Class, I like it

danny c

iTrader: (6)

we just answer and if they ask for owner or person who deals with bills etc we just say yea sure,will just get him and put fone on desk and leave it!
or if its lunch and boss answers he asks if they have a lunch break,they say yes and he asks if they get time wasting c##ts ringing them on their lunch break and hangs up!!
im going to get that joe pisqually song 'i no a song that will get on your nerves' on my fone,when they ring ....yea sure will just put you on hold and transfur you,then play that and see how long they last!!

we get them ring all the time at work,wastes so much time and sooooo annoying! thing is they just keep ringing back if you say sorry boss or who ever is out!!

john_s

iTrader: (1)

Our current game is:

Hello <company name>
Caller: Can I speak to the person responsible for <whatever>
Just a moment, I'll transfer you.

<on hold for a while>

He's not answering his phone at the moment, let me just try his other desk.

<hold again>

He's not answering. He might be in accounts, I'll give them a try...

<back on hold>

Sorry, still not found him.... Oh, hang on, he's just walked past, let me catch him for you.

<hold>

etc.

Basically, see how many times we can get them on hold without giving them chance to ask to leave a message before they hang up. Or if we get bored, say "I'm sorry, I think he's just left" and hang up.

Diesel

I just love it when they ask for your PIN - just like Vodafone did to me today on an unsolicited call. The guy completely agreed with me when I said 'no chance' but said it was essential due to 'data protection' - talk about doing their best to promote scamming and cons. Ridiculous. Think I'll call them back to get the free BT Openzone offer though D

paulwrxboro

my record for keeping them on is 16 mins
i did say to a woman who was arguing with me that i DO need cheaper phone calls, i might of said "**** off your mams a slag" lol they dont like that i can tell you ,she must have rang me back 20 times, i put the phone down every time

pimmo2000

iTrader: (6)

Talking about DPA I find our Doctors to be the worst ..

Can I make an appointment please, my name is Joe Bloggs .. oh is that Joe Bloggs of 34 That street ?

er.. yeah .. what phone number have you got for me ?

01544758699 ...

er.. thanks .. now I have all their details .. I can phone can later and ask for their prescriptions ..