chinese eitquette
12 September 2008, 11:44 PM
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chinese eitquette
i'm off to china next week for 12 days (work). anyone been or have any [helpful] advice on etiquette etc. i know the chinese are big on "face" and there is a lot of scope for me to offend people without realising, so thought i should do my home work beforehand!!
tia
tia
13 September 2008, 11:18 AM
#3
Two Wongs don't make a Right
Chinese Etiquette & ProtocolBy Joyce Millet
Ruler -- subjectHusband -- wifeFather -- sonBrother -- sisterFriend --- friendKey concepts in understanding Chinese culture:
Guanxi - Throughout much of Chinese history, the fundamental glue that has held society together is the concept of guanxi, relationships between people.
Mianxi - Face - Losing face, saving face and giving face is very important and should be taken into consideration at all times.
Li - Originally li meant to sacrifice, but today it is translated as the art of being polite and courteous. Proper etiquette preserves harmony and face.
Keqi - Ke means guest and qi means behavior. It not only means considerate, polite, and well mannered, but also represents humbleness and modesty.
Getting to Know Each Other
Greetings and Introductions
Confucius, China's greatest sage established a system of ethics, morals, hierarchy and behavior, setting the rules for people dealing with other people, and establishing each person's proper place in society.
The five major relationships set forth by Confucius:Ruler -- subjectHusband -- wifeFather -- sonBrother -- sisterFriend --- friendKey concepts in understanding Chinese culture:
Guanxi - Throughout much of Chinese history, the fundamental glue that has held society together is the concept of guanxi, relationships between people.
Mianxi - Face - Losing face, saving face and giving face is very important and should be taken into consideration at all times.
Li - Originally li meant to sacrifice, but today it is translated as the art of being polite and courteous. Proper etiquette preserves harmony and face.
Keqi - Ke means guest and qi means behavior. It not only means considerate, polite, and well mannered, but also represents humbleness and modesty.
Getting to Know Each Other
Greetings and Introductions
- The Chinese usually do not like to do business with strangers, and will make frequent use of go-betweens. Whenever possible, try to use established relationships, or an intermediary known by both sides, to make the first contact
- Chinese prefer to be formally introduced to someone new. This applies to both Chinese and foreigners.
- The Chinese may seem unfriendly when being introduced. They are taught not to show excessive emotion, thus the reference to Chinese and other Asians as inscrutable.
- Always stand up when being introduced and remain standing throughout the introductions.
- When being introduced to Chinese, the accepted form of greeting is the handshake, even among Chinese. Chinese may also nod or slightly bow (Unlike the Japanese, the Chinese bow from the shoulders rather than the waist). One would then present a business card.
- Use both hands when presenting business cards and be sure the writing faces the person to whom you are presenting your card. Cards should also be received with both hands. Do not immediately put the card in a pocket or bag-this is considered rude.
- Follow with the standard "I am pleased to meet you, or "ni hao" in Chinese.
- When seated, place cards on the table. This shows respect and is also an excellent way to remember names.
- Business cards should be printed in English on one side and Chinese on the other.
- Be sure to use simplified Chinese characters for China, not the classical characters used in Hong Kong and Taiwan. If traveling to China and Taiwan or Hong Kong, it is a good idea to put the different cards in separate boxes to avoid mix-ups.
- Remember that China is the People's Republic of China and Taiwan is the Republic of China
- The Chinese will state their last name first, followed by the given name (may be one or two syllables). For example, Liu Jianguo, in Chinese would be Mr. Jianguo Liu using the Western style.
- Never call someone by only his or her last name. Unless specifically asked, do not call someone by his or her first name.
- Addressing someone by his or her courtesy or professional title and last name conveys respect. In Chinese the name precedes the title. For example, Liu Xiansheng for Mr. Liu, and Liu Jingli for Manager Liu.
- Women's names cannot be distinguished from men's names. Chinese women use their maiden names even after marriage, but may indicate marital status by using Mrs., Ms., Miss, or Madam. Mrs. **** might be married to Mr. Liu.
- Chinese who frequently deal with foreigners or travel abroad on business may adopt a Western first name, such as David Liu. They may request that they be referred to as David, once a relationship has been established.
- Do not use the term "comrade" in China
- Do not be surprised when asked personal questions regarding age, marital status, children, family, income, job, etc. This is done to seek common ground.
- On the other hand, the Chinese will be uncomfortable with American familiarity, particularly early in a relationship. The arm around the shoulder or pat on the back with "just call me Bob" approach should be left at home.
- Unlike the Western custom, compliments are not graciously accepted with a "thank you," but rather with "not at all or it was nothing." Accepting and giving direct praise is considered poor etiquette. Do not be gushy with thank yous.
- Every culture defines proper distance. Westerners, particularly Americans, find that the Chinese comfort zone regarding distance is a bit to close for their comfort.
- Instinctively Westerners may back up when others invade their space. Do not be surprised to find that the Chinese will simply step closer.
- The Chinese do not like to be touched, particularly by strangers. Do not hug, back slap or put an arm around someone's shoulder.
- Do not be offended if you are pushed and shoved in a line. The Chinese do not practice the art of lining up and courtesy to strangers in public places is not required.
- People of the same sex may walk hand-in-hand as a gesture of friendship in China.
- Western gestures that are taboo in China include:
- Pointing the index finger--use the open hand instead.
- Using the index finger to call someone-use the hand with fingers motioning downward as in waving.
- Finger snapping
- Showing the soles of shoes.
- Whistling is considered rude.
- Chinese customs that are annoying to Westerners:
- Belching or spitting on the street
- Lack of consideration when smoking and failure to ask permission to smoke
- Slurping food
- Talking while eating
- Entertaining guests at a Chinese banquet is an important way of establishing guanxi.
- For more formal banquets, invitations will be sent and place cards will be at the table.
- Guests should sample all of the dishes and leave something on the plate at the end of the meal. A clean plate indicates you are still hungry and it is the host's responsibility to see that you are continually served food and drink.
- Under no circumstances should chopsticks be placed in the rice standing up. This symbolizes death.
- There are no firm rules regarding dinner conversation. Depending on the closeness of the relationship, business may or may not be discussed. Follow host's lead.
- Drinking is an important part of Chinese entertaining and is considered a social lubricant. The drinking officially begins after the host offers a short toast to the group.
- It is always a good idea for the guest to return the toast either right away or after a few courses have been served.
- Safe topics for toasts are friendship, pledges for cooperation, the desire to reciprocate the hospitality, and mutual benefit.
- The Chinese understand if you are unable to drink alcohol. Stating medical reasons is always a good way to get out of drinking alcohol.
- The most common expression for toasting is Gan bei, meaning "dry cup", or bottoms up.
- The Chinese are not as understanding of tipsy guests as are the Japanese or Koreans. If you feel you have had enough, smile and politely indicate this to your host.
- Do not pour your own drink. It shows a lack of protocol.
- Do not underestimate the importance of participating in dining and after-dinner entertainment. It is an excellent way to build guanxi.
- Gifts are an important way of creating and building guanxi in China.
- Chinese etiquette requires that a person decline a gift, invitation, and other offerings two or three times before accepting. It is expected that the giver will persist, gently, until the gift is accepted. Be sensitive to genuine refusals.
- Chinese and Westerners differ in the approach to gifts. In the West, a sincere thank you or a thank you note is an acceptable way to extend appreciation. In China, a more tangible form, or gift, is preferred.
- Never give a gift that would make it impossible for the Chinese to reciprocate-this would cause a loss of face and place them in a very difficult position.
- The Chinese usually do not open gifts at the time they receive them.
- When receiving gifts from the Chinese, do not open them unless they insist.
- Gifts should reflect the giver and the recipient.
- Consider gifts from your area. Gifts with a company logo are fine as long as they do not include things that are considered taboo and are not too showy.
- Gifts of foreign cigarettes, cognac, fine whisky, quality wines are acceptable.
- Do not give anything in sets of four or gifts that carry the association of death or funerals such as clocks, cut flowers, white objects. Do not give scissors or anything sharp as it symbolizes severing relations
- Be cautious when giving food items-it can suggest poverty.
- Always wrap gifts, but do not use white paper-it symbolizes death. Red and gold are the best. Avoid elaborately wrapping gifts.
- Never write anything in red ink.
13 September 2008, 11:24 AM
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Just what I was going to say........
Oh and tell them that their police are wonderful and that ugly little girls should he heard and not seen
dl
Oh and tell them that their police are wonderful and that ugly little girls should he heard and not seen
dl
13 September 2008, 11:35 AM
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Blimy after reading all that, no chance of a good **** up, and a good munch on a donner kebab afterwards then to break the ice 
*Ill get my coat*
*Ill get my coat*
13 September 2008, 12:58 PM
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I've not been to China, but I have worked in Japan.
..in Japan, pouring your own drink indicates that you're an alcoholic!
I imagine that the Chinese are similar in custom to the Japanese regarding 'face'. This can make explaining new processes to them difficult - if they don't fully understand something, the Japanese would rarely ask you to explain it again. To do so would imply that you have not explained it very well, rather than their inability to understand.
Therefore, don't try and ask, "Do you understand that?' as you'll be faced with silence! I found it best to go over things a number of times, until they could discuss it freely.
Do not pour your own drink. It shows a lack of protocol
I imagine that the Chinese are similar in custom to the Japanese regarding 'face'. This can make explaining new processes to them difficult - if they don't fully understand something, the Japanese would rarely ask you to explain it again. To do so would imply that you have not explained it very well, rather than their inability to understand.
Therefore, don't try and ask, "Do you understand that?' as you'll be faced with silence! I found it best to go over things a number of times, until they could discuss it freely.
13 September 2008, 09:35 PM
#7
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nice one dude. a most lengthy post and certainly worthy of a repost...(lots on there i am already aware of [ie, what doesn;t make a right etc] , but it's all helpful stuff)
Chinese Etiquette & ProtocolBy Joyce Millet
The five major relationships set forth by Confucius:
Ruler -- subjectHusband -- wifeFather -- sonBrother -- sisterFriend --- friendKey concepts in understanding Chinese culture:
Guanxi - Throughout much of Chinese history, the fundamental glue that has held society together is the concept of guanxi, relationships between people.
Mianxi - Face - Losing face, saving face and giving face is very important and should be taken into consideration at all times.
Li - Originally li meant to sacrifice, but today it is translated as the art of being polite and courteous. Proper etiquette preserves harmony and face.
Keqi - Ke means guest and qi means behavior. It not only means considerate, polite, and well mannered, but also represents humbleness and modesty.
Getting to Know Each Other
Greetings and Introductions
Confucius, China's greatest sage established a system of ethics, morals, hierarchy and behavior, setting the rules for people dealing with other people, and establishing each person's proper place in society.
The five major relationships set forth by Confucius:
Ruler -- subjectHusband -- wifeFather -- sonBrother -- sisterFriend --- friendKey concepts in understanding Chinese culture:
Guanxi - Throughout much of Chinese history, the fundamental glue that has held society together is the concept of guanxi, relationships between people.
Mianxi - Face - Losing face, saving face and giving face is very important and should be taken into consideration at all times.
Li - Originally li meant to sacrifice, but today it is translated as the art of being polite and courteous. Proper etiquette preserves harmony and face.
Keqi - Ke means guest and qi means behavior. It not only means considerate, polite, and well mannered, but also represents humbleness and modesty.
Getting to Know Each Other
Greetings and Introductions
- The Chinese usually do not like to do business with strangers, and will make frequent use of go-betweens. Whenever possible, try to use established relationships, or an intermediary known by both sides, to make the first contact
- Chinese prefer to be formally introduced to someone new. This applies to both Chinese and foreigners.
- The Chinese may seem unfriendly when being introduced. They are taught not to show excessive emotion, thus the reference to Chinese and other Asians as inscrutable.
- Always stand up when being introduced and remain standing throughout the introductions.
- When being introduced to Chinese, the accepted form of greeting is the handshake, even among Chinese. Chinese may also nod or slightly bow (Unlike the Japanese, the Chinese bow from the shoulders rather than the waist). One would then present a business card.
- Use both hands when presenting business cards and be sure the writing faces the person to whom you are presenting your card. Cards should also be received with both hands. Do not immediately put the card in a pocket or bag-this is considered rude.
- Follow with the standard "I am pleased to meet you, or "ni hao" in Chinese.
- When seated, place cards on the table. This shows respect and is also an excellent way to remember names.
- Business cards should be printed in English on one side and Chinese on the other.
- Be sure to use simplified Chinese characters for China, not the classical characters used in Hong Kong and Taiwan. If traveling to China and Taiwan or Hong Kong, it is a good idea to put the different cards in separate boxes to avoid mix-ups.
- Remember that China is the People's Republic of China and Taiwan is the Republic of China
- The Chinese will state their last name first, followed by the given name (may be one or two syllables). For example, Liu Jianguo, in Chinese would be Mr. Jianguo Liu using the Western style.
- Never call someone by only his or her last name. Unless specifically asked, do not call someone by his or her first name.
- Addressing someone by his or her courtesy or professional title and last name conveys respect. In Chinese the name precedes the title. For example, Liu Xiansheng for Mr. Liu, and Liu Jingli for Manager Liu.
- Women's names cannot be distinguished from men's names. Chinese women use their maiden names even after marriage, but may indicate marital status by using Mrs., Ms., Miss, or Madam. Mrs. **** might be married to Mr. Liu.
- Chinese who frequently deal with foreigners or travel abroad on business may adopt a Western first name, such as David Liu. They may request that they be referred to as David, once a relationship has been established.
- Do not use the term "comrade" in China
- Do not be surprised when asked personal questions regarding age, marital status, children, family, income, job, etc. This is done to seek common ground.
- On the other hand, the Chinese will be uncomfortable with American familiarity, particularly early in a relationship. The arm around the shoulder or pat on the back with "just call me Bob" approach should be left at home.
- Unlike the Western custom, compliments are not graciously accepted with a "thank you," but rather with "not at all or it was nothing." Accepting and giving direct praise is considered poor etiquette. Do not be gushy with thank yous.
- Every culture defines proper distance. Westerners, particularly Americans, find that the Chinese comfort zone regarding distance is a bit to close for their comfort.
- Instinctively Westerners may back up when others invade their space. Do not be surprised to find that the Chinese will simply step closer.
- The Chinese do not like to be touched, particularly by strangers. Do not hug, back slap or put an arm around someone's shoulder.
- Do not be offended if you are pushed and shoved in a line. The Chinese do not practice the art of lining up and courtesy to strangers in public places is not required.
- People of the same sex may walk hand-in-hand as a gesture of friendship in China.
- Western gestures that are taboo in China include:
- Pointing the index finger--use the open hand instead.
- Using the index finger to call someone-use the hand with fingers motioning downward as in waving.
- Finger snapping
- Showing the soles of shoes.
- Whistling is considered rude.
- Chinese customs that are annoying to Westerners:
- Belching or spitting on the street
- Lack of consideration when smoking and failure to ask permission to smoke
- Slurping food
- Talking while eating
- Entertaining guests at a Chinese banquet is an important way of establishing guanxi.
- For more formal banquets, invitations will be sent and place cards will be at the table.
- Guests should sample all of the dishes and leave something on the plate at the end of the meal. A clean plate indicates you are still hungry and it is the host's responsibility to see that you are continually served food and drink.
- Under no circumstances should chopsticks be placed in the rice standing up. This symbolizes death.
- There are no firm rules regarding dinner conversation. Depending on the closeness of the relationship, business may or may not be discussed. Follow host's lead.
- Drinking is an important part of Chinese entertaining and is considered a social lubricant. The drinking officially begins after the host offers a short toast to the group.
- It is always a good idea for the guest to return the toast either right away or after a few courses have been served.
- Safe topics for toasts are friendship, pledges for cooperation, the desire to reciprocate the hospitality, and mutual benefit.
- The Chinese understand if you are unable to drink alcohol. Stating medical reasons is always a good way to get out of drinking alcohol.
- The most common expression for toasting is Gan bei, meaning "dry cup", or bottoms up.
- The Chinese are not as understanding of tipsy guests as are the Japanese or Koreans. If you feel you have had enough, smile and politely indicate this to your host.
- Do not pour your own drink. It shows a lack of protocol.
- Do not underestimate the importance of participating in dining and after-dinner entertainment. It is an excellent way to build guanxi.
- Gifts are an important way of creating and building guanxi in China.
- Chinese etiquette requires that a person decline a gift, invitation, and other offerings two or three times before accepting. It is expected that the giver will persist, gently, until the gift is accepted. Be sensitive to genuine refusals.
- Chinese and Westerners differ in the approach to gifts. In the West, a sincere thank you or a thank you note is an acceptable way to extend appreciation. In China, a more tangible form, or gift, is preferred.
- Never give a gift that would make it impossible for the Chinese to reciprocate-this would cause a loss of face and place them in a very difficult position.
- The Chinese usually do not open gifts at the time they receive them.
- When receiving gifts from the Chinese, do not open them unless they insist.
- Gifts should reflect the giver and the recipient.
- Consider gifts from your area. Gifts with a company logo are fine as long as they do not include things that are considered taboo and are not too showy.
- Gifts of foreign cigarettes, cognac, fine whisky, quality wines are acceptable.
- Do not give anything in sets of four or gifts that carry the association of death or funerals such as clocks, cut flowers, white objects. Do not give scissors or anything sharp as it symbolizes severing relations
- Be cautious when giving food items-it can suggest poverty.
- Always wrap gifts, but do not use white paper-it symbolizes death. Red and gold are the best. Avoid elaborately wrapping gifts.
- Never write anything in red ink.
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13 September 2008, 09:39 PM
#8
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I've not been to China, but I have worked in Japan.
..in Japan, pouring your own drink indicates that you're an alcoholic!
I imagine that the Chinese are similar in custom to the Japanese regarding 'face'. This can make explaining new processes to them difficult - if they don't fully understand something, the Japanese would rarely ask you to explain it again. To do so would imply that you have not explained it very well, rather than their inability to understand.
Therefore, don't try and ask, "Do you understand that?' as you'll be faced with silence! I found it best to go over things a number of times, until they could discuss it freely.
..in Japan, pouring your own drink indicates that you're an alcoholic!
I imagine that the Chinese are similar in custom to the Japanese regarding 'face'. This can make explaining new processes to them difficult - if they don't fully understand something, the Japanese would rarely ask you to explain it again. To do so would imply that you have not explained it very well, rather than their inability to understand.
Therefore, don't try and ask, "Do you understand that?' as you'll be faced with silence! I found it best to go over things a number of times, until they could discuss it freely.
14 September 2008, 11:21 AM
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Remebering reading an artice on different countries etiquettes and being in stitches at some off them !! funny enough am sure in china taking a business card off someone and placing it straight in your wallet is compared to ripping it up in front off them !! you are meant to place it on the table in front off you and only pick it up once the conversation has finished !!
another one in a certain country was not to shake hands with somone using the wrong hand it was seen as handing them a pile off sh@%& !!!
cant remeber anymore but am sure others will be along to add some off there own !!
good luck anyway am sure u will have a great time !!
another one in a certain country was not to shake hands with somone using the wrong hand it was seen as handing them a pile off sh@%& !!!
cant remeber anymore but am sure others will be along to add some off there own !!
good luck anyway am sure u will have a great time !!
14 September 2008, 11:26 AM
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The guide above is very good, although I have not really met someone who really cares that much and will certainly make allowances for a westerner.
One thing I never, ever, got used to was the public spitting. Not so much the spitting itself, but the sound of someone 'preparing' to spit was a continual background noise and it even now makes me shudder.
Steve
One thing I never, ever, got used to was the public spitting. Not so much the spitting itself, but the sound of someone 'preparing' to spit was a continual background noise and it even now makes me shudder.
Steve
14 September 2008, 11:34 AM
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Just tried a quick google and appears to be a lot off info contained within on this very subject, one that caught my eye was in japan and that was not to blow your nose in public, its considered the height off rudeness !!
apparantly you have to turn away and sniff instead !!!!
not to pour your own drink or you are considred an alchoholic !!!
or also in japan, that its not uncommon to see people reading what appears to be **** mags on the underground etc !! seems the majority off magazines even comics over there contain full nude pics / sex scenes- funny enough its also considfed very rude to stare over someones shoulder whilst they are doing this !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
apparantly you have to turn away and sniff instead !!!!
not to pour your own drink or you are considred an alchoholic !!!
or also in japan, that its not uncommon to see people reading what appears to be **** mags on the underground etc !! seems the majority off magazines even comics over there contain full nude pics / sex scenes- funny enough its also considfed very rude to stare over someones shoulder whilst they are doing this !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
14 September 2008, 09:50 PM
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indeed...you see why i asked then! i already have conflicting information from some of the guys i have been speaking to in hong kong. looks like there could also be slight variations in eitiquette, depending on location 
Just tried a quick google and appears to be a lot off info contained within on this very subject, one that caught my eye was in japan and that was not to blow your nose in public, its considered the height off rudeness !!
apparantly you have to turn away and sniff instead !!!!
not to pour your own drink or you are considred an alchoholic !!!
or also in japan, that its not uncommon to see people reading what appears to be **** mags on the underground etc !! seems the majority off magazines even comics over there contain full nude pics / sex scenes- funny enough its also considfed very rude to stare over someones shoulder whilst they are doing this !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
apparantly you have to turn away and sniff instead !!!!
not to pour your own drink or you are considred an alchoholic !!!
or also in japan, that its not uncommon to see people reading what appears to be **** mags on the underground etc !! seems the majority off magazines even comics over there contain full nude pics / sex scenes- funny enough its also considfed very rude to stare over someones shoulder whilst they are doing this !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
14 September 2008, 09:52 PM
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steve, whilst i know what you mean, it's clear you haven't spent much time on a dusty building site in the past! (btw are you still considering self build at some point...?)
The guide above is very good, although I have not really met someone who really cares that much and will certainly make allowances for a westerner.
One thing I never, ever, got used to was the public spitting. Not so much the spitting itself, but the sound of someone 'preparing' to spit was a continual background noise and it even now makes me shudder.
Steve
One thing I never, ever, got used to was the public spitting. Not so much the spitting itself, but the sound of someone 'preparing' to spit was a continual background noise and it even now makes me shudder.
Steve
14 September 2008, 09:53 PM
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14 September 2008, 09:55 PM
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