Ferrari International assistance charter
12 September 2008, 07:14 PM
#1
Guest
Posts: n/a
Ferrari International assistance charter
Own a Ferrari?
Not quite good enough at driving?
Are other boys faster than you in the wet?
Then you need:
Ferrari international Assistance (FiA)
This exclusive Ferrari only membership club has many benefits.
Including:
? Anti overtaking assurance
Been overtaken? Feel a bit silly? Don't worry, we'll rule out the other party ,even if it's embarrassingly obvious that they're faster than you
? Can’t drive in the wet?
Can’t cope with a little rain, don’t worry. We’ll ensure that the other party will lose their position ahead of you, ready for your mediocre inconsistent performance to keep you in the championship.
? Exclusive access to a secret 'second lane' in the pits
Just to make things a little bit easier we've arranged a private second lane , just for you
? Overtaken a car by cutting a chicane and NOT giving back your place.
Exclusive offer for Ferrari drivers – you can decide not to give back the position and we won’t penalise you for it, just like in Hungary 2006
? Guaranteed world championship?
Had a crash? Need to win the world championship? Don't worry just limp across the track and take off your nearest championship title contender - we'll do the rest
? A bit strapped? Need extra cash?
Simply get one of your team to tell someone else how you make your cars and then we’ll make sure they take the rap.
? Bits falling off your car? Looking a bit dangerous?
At Ferrari International Assistance we operate a 'blind eye' policy just for Ferrari drivers
? Been a bit silly? Taken off another driver whilst following the safety car?
It's ok, as long as you didn't hurt yourself. I mean, who are Force India anyway? And how dare they be in front of you
? A bit bored? Want some extra action?
With FIA plus you can take part in a number of 'additional membership activities'
? Want to run some illegal aerodynamics?
No problem, as long as the car is Red, you can have flexing wings, or oversized barge boards anything you like!
? Has your rival come up with a great idea, before you?
One quick telephone call on our free 0800 number and we’ll make sure it gets banned overnight. No questions asked.
? Not sure when you might need us next?
Relax. Check out our track record. We're confident that we'll be able to take something up on the spot that will get you out of any pickle that you might find yourself in
For an immediate response you can call our number free of charge. Our Call centre Staff, Bernard, Max and Charles, are waiting for your call.
Ferrari international Assistance - Making it up as we go along for over 100 years
Disclaimer - nnnnnrrrr
if this is a Sial i'm not going to read 400+ posts on the other thread just to check.
Not quite good enough at driving?
Are other boys faster than you in the wet?
Then you need:
Ferrari international Assistance (FiA)
This exclusive Ferrari only membership club has many benefits.
Including:
? Anti overtaking assurance
Been overtaken? Feel a bit silly? Don't worry, we'll rule out the other party ,even if it's embarrassingly obvious that they're faster than you
? Can’t drive in the wet?
Can’t cope with a little rain, don’t worry. We’ll ensure that the other party will lose their position ahead of you, ready for your mediocre inconsistent performance to keep you in the championship.
? Exclusive access to a secret 'second lane' in the pits
Just to make things a little bit easier we've arranged a private second lane , just for you
? Overtaken a car by cutting a chicane and NOT giving back your place.
Exclusive offer for Ferrari drivers – you can decide not to give back the position and we won’t penalise you for it, just like in Hungary 2006
? Guaranteed world championship?
Had a crash? Need to win the world championship? Don't worry just limp across the track and take off your nearest championship title contender - we'll do the rest
? A bit strapped? Need extra cash?
Simply get one of your team to tell someone else how you make your cars and then we’ll make sure they take the rap.
? Bits falling off your car? Looking a bit dangerous?
At Ferrari International Assistance we operate a 'blind eye' policy just for Ferrari drivers
? Been a bit silly? Taken off another driver whilst following the safety car?
It's ok, as long as you didn't hurt yourself. I mean, who are Force India anyway? And how dare they be in front of you
? A bit bored? Want some extra action?
With FIA plus you can take part in a number of 'additional membership activities'
? Want to run some illegal aerodynamics?
No problem, as long as the car is Red, you can have flexing wings, or oversized barge boards anything you like!
? Has your rival come up with a great idea, before you?
One quick telephone call on our free 0800 number and we’ll make sure it gets banned overnight. No questions asked.
? Not sure when you might need us next?
Relax. Check out our track record. We're confident that we'll be able to take something up on the spot that will get you out of any pickle that you might find yourself in
For an immediate response you can call our number free of charge. Our Call centre Staff, Bernard, Max and Charles, are waiting for your call.
Ferrari international Assistance - Making it up as we go along for over 100 years
Disclaimer - nnnnnrrrr
if this is a Sial i'm not going to read 400+ posts on the other thread just to check.
13 September 2008, 08:24 AM
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13 September 2008, 08:52 AM
#7
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What, somebody slagging off Ferrari? Right.................. stop it! 
Oh you guys, I appreciate the attention, I really do. To think that you have so many other interests in your lives, but yet you chose to talk about me instead.
Oh you guys, I appreciate the attention, I really do. To think that you have so many other interests in your lives, but yet you chose to talk about me instead.
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