The things kids say.....
18 July 2008, 12:11 PM
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The things kids say.....
A nice wee lighthearted thread for a friday afternoon.
In the process of potty training my two and a half year old son at the moment. This morning he insisted he wanted to be on the potty in the bathroom by himself. I was loitering about outside listening making sure he was okay and heard him chatting away to himself; then he decides he wants a sing song. All I heard was:
'Ba ba black sheep have you wool, yes three bags full, one for the lady boy down the lane'
Don't know what the hell they've been teaching him at nursery!
What corkers have your lot come out with?
In the process of potty training my two and a half year old son at the moment. This morning he insisted he wanted to be on the potty in the bathroom by himself. I was loitering about outside listening making sure he was okay and heard him chatting away to himself; then he decides he wants a sing song. All I heard was:
'Ba ba black sheep have you wool, yes three bags full, one for the lady boy down the lane'
Don't know what the hell they've been teaching him at nursery!
What corkers have your lot come out with?
18 July 2008, 01:09 PM
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I thought they were teaching kids to sing, "bah ba woolly sheep, have you any wool" on account of 'black sheep' being viewed as racists and discriminatory 
<sigh> I hate this country.
<sigh> I hate this country.
18 July 2008, 01:14 PM
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Baa, baa wolly sheep, have you any wool? no sir, no sir, the black sheep nicked it all.....at knifepoint...........then sold it for crack......... and PDiddy records.
My own personal favourite is:
SIMPLE SIMON met a Pieman
Going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman
“What have you got there?”
Said the Pieman unto Simon
“Pies, you retard!
18 July 2008, 01:18 PM
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Baa, baa wolly sheep, have you any wool? no sir, no sir, the black sheep nicked it all.....at knifepoint...........then sold it for crack......... and PDiddy records.
18 July 2008, 01:23 PM
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SIMPLE SIMON met a Pieman
Going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman
“What have you got there?”
Said the Pieman unto Simon
“Pies, you retard!
Going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman
“What have you got there?”
Said the Pieman unto Simon
“Pies, you retard!
18 July 2008, 01:24 PM
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My daughter, aged 9, had the 2nd of her 3 sex education videos at school yesterday. Last night she says to her mum:
"Mum, seriously now, no joking. What hurts more. Having a baby, or having your ears pierced?"
"Mum, seriously now, no joking. What hurts more. Having a baby, or having your ears pierced?"
18 July 2008, 01:28 PM
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When I was a youngster I apprently came out with a howler.
At a game fair there was a raptor rescue stand and 1 of the owls had a sign underneath it that said "recovering after being attacked by a Tomcat"
Now I knew a Tomcat as an aircraft so I asked mum "whats a Tomcat?" to much mirth of the people around
Personally I had visions of this owl involved in a dog fight with a warbird!!!
At a game fair there was a raptor rescue stand and 1 of the owls had a sign underneath it that said "recovering after being attacked by a Tomcat"
Now I knew a Tomcat as an aircraft so I asked mum "whats a Tomcat?" to much mirth of the people around
Personally I had visions of this owl involved in a dog fight with a warbird!!!
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18 July 2008, 01:36 PM
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I still keep laughing at that one by Swiss Tony about the fat woman in the supermarket queue.
Les
18 July 2008, 02:01 PM
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Racist my ***! This would be racist:
Baa, baa wolly sheep, have you any wool? no sir, no sir, the black sheep nicked it all.....at knifepoint...........then sold it for crack......... and PDiddy records.
My own personal favourite is:
SIMPLE SIMON met a Pieman
Going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman
“What have you got there?”
Said the Pieman unto Simon
“Pies, you retard!
Baa, baa wolly sheep, have you any wool? no sir, no sir, the black sheep nicked it all.....at knifepoint...........then sold it for crack......... and PDiddy records.
My own personal favourite is:
SIMPLE SIMON met a Pieman
Going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman
“What have you got there?”
Said the Pieman unto Simon
“Pies, you retard!
18 July 2008, 04:33 PM
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Racist my ***! This would be racist:
Baa, baa wolly sheep, have you any wool? no sir, no sir, the black sheep nicked it all.....at knifepoint...........then sold it for crack......... and PDiddy records.
My own personal favourite is:
SIMPLE SIMON met a Pieman
Going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman
“What have you got there?”
Said the Pieman unto Simon
“Pies, you retard!
Baa, baa wolly sheep, have you any wool? no sir, no sir, the black sheep nicked it all.....at knifepoint...........then sold it for crack......... and PDiddy records.
My own personal favourite is:
SIMPLE SIMON met a Pieman
Going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman
“What have you got there?”
Said the Pieman unto Simon
“Pies, you retard!
Quite possibly the funniest thing I've heard this week! Good show!
18 July 2008, 07:53 PM
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Our daughter came home from school one day and was telling me about her day (she's 5 yrs), she told me she was in the 'sex' journal 
I asked her again and she said the same after the weekend had got by and she was still saying this I asked the teacher what they were doing in class and explained what she had told me..........................which then translated into the 'success' journal for when they had done something good at school!
Needless to say I walked away totally embarrassed
I asked her again and she said the same after the weekend had got by and she was still saying this I asked the teacher what they were doing in class and explained what she had told me..........................which then translated into the 'success' journal for when they had done something good at school!Needless to say I walked away totally embarrassed
18 July 2008, 09:38 PM
#14
When I was 4 I fell over and banged my head. When the lady next door saw my poorly head she asked me what happened.. apparently I said Mummy hit me with a hammer .. much to the shock of my mother who was standing next to me ...
No idea why I said it .. maybe she did
No idea why I said it .. maybe she did
19 July 2008, 12:40 PM
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A nice wee lighthearted thread for a friday afternoon.
In the process of potty training my two and a half year old son at the moment. This morning he insisted he wanted to be on the potty in the bathroom by himself. I was loitering about outside listening making sure he was okay and heard him chatting away to himself; then he decides he wants a sing song. All I heard was:
'Ba ba black sheep have you wool, yes three bags full, one for the lady boy down the lane'
Don't know what the hell they've been teaching him at nursery!
What corkers have your lot come out with?
In the process of potty training my two and a half year old son at the moment. This morning he insisted he wanted to be on the potty in the bathroom by himself. I was loitering about outside listening making sure he was okay and heard him chatting away to himself; then he decides he wants a sing song. All I heard was:
'Ba ba black sheep have you wool, yes three bags full, one for the lady boy down the lane'
Don't know what the hell they've been teaching him at nursery!
What corkers have your lot come out with?
Not funny
Not funny
19 July 2008, 04:56 PM
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My mate's lad (7yrs old) was round at Jarno Trulli's villa last weekend for Jarno's niece's birthday. Jarno came over to the little lad who was with his mum at the party and was having a nice chat to him. Only for my mate's boy to say 'My dad says your car is **** and you are a crap driver'.......Needless to say Jarno's face was a picture and my mate will be looking over his shoulder when he goes out to Italy next week for his holiday.
19 July 2008, 07:28 PM
#17
My mate's lad (7yrs old) was round at Jarno Trulli's villa last weekend for Jarno's niece's birthday. Jarno came over to the little lad who was with his mum at the party and was having a nice chat to him. Only for my mate's boy to say 'My dad says your car is **** and you are a crap driver'.......Needless to say Jarno's face was a picture and my mate will be looking over his shoulder when he goes out to Italy next week for his holiday.
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