SVXNUT

Someone on Sickipedia has been rather clever, and I don't know how much swearing we can get away with on here, so as my nose has been clear so far, either let me get away with posting this one or delete the thread please.
No offence is intended to anyone except Whitehall.

I think it is rather good, but you will have to sing it.






















The country was in such a terrible state,
Parliament rose for a budget debate,
It was quite a few moments before Gordy spoke
When he did he said "Sex will cost ten quid a poke"

Whether you're short, long, skinny or thick,
The tax will be paid on the use of your pr**k,
Chris Smith said "Now Gordon look here,
Will the tax still be paid for the boys who are queer ?"

Mandy arose and looked very glum,
"Will I be exempt coz I only like bum"
Gordon replied and sounded quite airy
"You'll f***ing pay double, you dirty old fairy"

Up got Hague to tremendous applause,
He grabbed Margaret Beckett, and whipped off her drawers
He straddled across her and f***ed her at will
Then shouted at Gordon "Put that on your bill"

Prescott shouted "I think I'll resign
I haven't had p***y for a very long time
I dream every night of a big juicy crutch
But ten quid a jump is a bit f***ing much"

The debate carried on, oh what a night
Many were bonking any woman in sight
The whole house was screwing, the speaker was too
And in the excitement, the dumb bill got through

So now in the bedrooms of England each night
There's many a fanny closed up good and tight
They're taxing our booze and taxing our smokes
And now the b##tards are taxing our pokes

If ten quid a time is the price we must pay,
It's now with ourselves we are forced to play,
So to quench our frustration, we must have a w#nk
For the state of our country, we have Gordon to thank.

ritchie21

That was doing the rounds when Tony was PM.

Still makes me laugh though

PetesMum

People have been banned for just writing the words in the title

The whole means that you will be hung, drawn and quartered - then banned PERMANENTLY!!

Shark Man

Don't worry, you don't have the words "pete" or "lewis" in your name, however putting the word "joke" may get some fingers twitching amongst the weak minded Whitehouse brigade

SVXNUT

There are some alternative Nursery rhymes as well I will post if my nose stays clean!!!.

PetesMum

Indeed, don't indicate that you may be having fun ...... this is SN, you know!!! The lunatics have taken over the asylum

hectic

Not yet, I haven't

PetesMum

You're a Lunatic allright ....... it's the **** Lunatics I'm on about

Leslie

Well I support many of Mrs Whitehouse's ideas which she stated in her time, but that did make me laugh and there is nothing bad about it at all anyway.

Les

PetesMum

Would she have abused the Infraction system do you reckon Les? Do you think that the power may have gone to her head eventually? Curious.

davegtt

You wouldnt get infracted for that. Did make me smile though, very well done

SVXNUT

Well if the above is safe, try these, as promised also poached from the above site. (Edited slightly)



Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between two chunks of bread.

Mary had a little lamb,
And she named him Billy,
She took it out behind the shed,
And sucked its little *****

Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
"Pies, you d##khead."

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
said "F##k him, He's only an egg."

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was gay.

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill
And now there's little Franky.

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
to fetch her poor dog a bone.
When she bent over
Rover took over,
And gave her a bone of his own.

Mary had a little lamb
she took it to a wedding
she stood it up against a wall
and kicked its f##king head in.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
So he won a grand with Claims Direct.

It's Raining, It's Pouring.
Oh sh#t, it's Global Warming.

Jack and Jill went into town
To fetch some chips and sweeties.
He can't keep his heart rate down
And she's got diabetes.


Crosses fingers.

Nate

iTrader: (2)

BargainGirl

Posts 3,6,8 and 10 have been put on everyones Ignore list ... i would say someone isn't very happy!

SVXNUT

Whats going on with the reply counting, and time postings on the threads at the moment???. The counter say 13 replies, and there are only 8, (9 with this one) and it also says last entry 23.20 by bargingirl, when its Nate at 18.37. Just wondering. I am also sure there were replies on here from Someones Mum yesterday as well!!.

Shark Man

Don't worry about that. The software used for Scoobynet - VBulletin, now has the "thought police v3.1" plug-in installed. Basically, it automatically removes any posts made by people who are overly supportive of left wing politics and against the use of **** oil change procedures.


<joke>