DCI Gene Hunt

a green woodpecker?

There's one that lives in a tree over the back of my house, and is feckin rap-tap-tatting all night

It flew onto my garden this morning and wandered around for a while which made me consider buying an air rifle.... and offing the multicoloured little fat chap...

Is it legal to pop a cap in a woodpeckers ***? or will I have to also eat it once I've offed it

Would all the wannabe Bill Oddy's please refrain from telling me how lovely they are.... its fat and annoying.... not unlike Swisstony

Scoobychick

iTrader: (1)

Swiss is going to love you

We were woken up last night by two owls twit-twooing at full volume just outside the house. It sounded like they were sitting on the bedroom window sill and went on for an hour. Just after they stopped the bloody cockerel at the farm behind the house started up. I love nature

spireite

You may get away with shooting the the fat annoying tw*t. But dont shoot the woodpecker

Leslie

Put a cork on its beak.

Les

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

Find the hole, consulot the Woodpecker about its requirements and make the neccesary alterations with a powerful drill fitted with a hole saw or auger bit.

dpb

You should be grateful for the melody - not everyones got one in thier backyard

DCI Gene Hunt

rat-tat-tat-tat-tat isn't the greatest tune at 3am, mind you its better than Britneys latest

speedking

What about herons, now they really get on my **** hoovering up all our fish every year Once they lose their fear of man and come into the domestic environment they should be treated like rogue bears or maneating tigers.

dpb

Brittnys a washed up old trout now Kylies back

Tam the bam

Cut it's beak off, then it'll just be another head banger.

DCI Gene Hunt

Totally agree, anything feathery that's bigger than a yellow tit is fair game from now on

Odds on

Had some wood pigeons living in both my chimney and a tree out the back. They drove me up the wall with their "ru-hoo ru ru-hoo" all hours of the day and night. A couple of blasts from the paintball gun (Aimed close, but not directly at) soon saw them off.

Couple of shots at a mate (directly ) when he had his back to me got a few laughs as well.

All in all, a successful mission I reckon

Scoobychick

iTrader: (1)

Lee247

The descriptions of the bird noises are fantastic

Lee247

oh and you'd have to eat it, I think they are protected

davegtt

Borrow a cat of SN?

vindaloo

If the eagle is too ill it won't catch the woodpecker. Wrap it warmly and feed it lemsip until it's feeling better and wants a bit of a flap. Then let it go.

As the woodpecker would have been disturbing it whilst it was ill, first thing it'll do is go after it and either eat it or chase it away.

There, problem solved.

Luminous

iTrader: (3)

So if its protected, you can still shoot it, just so long as you eat it?

Lee247

He'd need to hide the evidence

Luminous

iTrader: (3)

Oh Bugger

You just put my evil plans to rest There I was thinking I could go around and shoot protected species, without recrimination just so long as I ate them.

(pslewis is protected right? )

WRX_Dazza

dont start me on Canadian Geese.......

thankfully its only once in a while, but god can they make a racket!!!!!

get the winchester pump action out, i say!!!

Tam the bam

You were thinking on popping a cap in Lewis's *** then eating him and yes he is protected by 4 male nurses and a security door, he may even hit you with his zimmer..

Luminous

iTrader: (3)

Hmm, I do see a problem with the above. The door is simply going to spoil a good meal Woodchip and thighs, its never going to be a dish that will catch on

SwissTony

iTrader: (19)

DCI Gene Hunt

SwissTony

iTrader: (19)

you have PM you fat git

zs_phil

iTrader: (1)

around us we have owls that go on and on all night and foxes that scream like they are being murdered all night and go around trashing everyones wheelie bins
but it sure does p1ss me off when i want a good nights sleep and thats every night