j4ckos mate

anyone got ant good ones...

here's mine.


a lad who used to work in our section, comes in and uses our scanner to put docs on the server 6-7 times a day.


he is a first class bloke and a big mickey taker so we'ed thought we would give it him today.



every time he scanned something one of us would go in and delete by the time he would leave and go back to his desk.
this happened 4 times today! and at 5 oclock we were going to scan something in saying "have you lost anything pogo(his surname is patterson)

the strange thing was though that he was scanning emails and not once did he come back and ask if we had a broke scanner





my all time one was my junior a view years ago, we put an ad for a wife in a filipino newspaper for a wife for him. he got dozens of letters


and he won n a trip to amsterdam, so we told him to get some mags for a laff.
he got caught at the airport with them

so we got a copper we knew to knock on the office door and ask for him


he went as white as a sheet!

Shark Man

We had some business cards printed advertising one of our collegues as "Stud, male escort, anything anytime, anywhere", with his number, and placed it in various call boxes and notice boards in pubs etc.

He had some right freaks phoning him up

Oh yes, one more: grab the keys to a collegue's car, and get the holepunch, then empty it into the face vents and set fan on to full. In-car confetti

Seamaster

Had a client **** me off once. So got some ***** cards made up and gave a kid £20 to put them through

the doors of every street near her . And all the phone boxes. Thing is the wording kind of gave most neighbours a clue !! and they thought it was her.

Job done !!


other one is to buy some "squid oil" from fishing tackle shop and put it through the guy/womans car vents or windows.

trust me they wont drive the car ever !


Tap into the persons phone line and put a timed auto dialer. set the number to ring a sex line. massive bills !

Norman D. Landing

Put concentrated blackcurrat juice into the window washer bottle of a bloke at works white MG-B. He got made redundant that afternoon and we never saw him aain so dont know if he crashed due to purple windsccreen.

Bit off really I suppose.

KiwiGTI

Done similar things to people as the scanner. One guy kept trying to print but we deleted his print job every time he submitted it. He ended up rebuilding his PC.

Another time we used the comand "net send" to make a pop-up box appear on someones screen saying his PC was infected by a virus. We thought it hadn't worked because he showed no reaction whatsoever (he must have had a guilty conscience), he then spent the entire day rebuilding and reinstalling everything on his PC, and running virus scans on all the servers he'd touched. When he told us this quietly at the end of the day and we told him it was a joke he just lost it and stormed out.

j4ckos mate

we had office monkey in once as well

Bubba po

I can't vouch for the authenticity of this one, but my best mate at Uni - an ex-bookie - told me of one he was involved in. A chap at his w*rkplace bought a hat that he was really proud of. The rest of the team bought a hat identical to it but bigger, and switched them on alternate days. Eventually the bloke didn't turn up for w*rk one day. When he was next in they asked him why he hadn't been to w*rk that day..... he told them:

"'Ave bin to 't' Doctor's.... me 'ead's bin swellin and goin' back down again".

j4ckos mate

one lad used to take his shoes of in the day under his desk so we got som tippex and used to put "L" and"R" on them

j4ckos mate

we used ot get lots of free airline flights a few years ago,
one of them was a trip round the country ina brand new aircraft.
on the day we were going on this ek a330, i told dave there was no food on the flight and he would have to get a butty from the buttyvan.

we got round the airport , thru customs into the exec lounge and were meeting all these arabic lloking bosses from the airline. all with dave and his butty from the van. he got as far as putting it in the xray machine before he cottoned on. the funniest bit wa everytime we met a big boss he put his right arm out to shake han ds and his left one went berhind his back with his sandwich in !!lol

j4ckos mate

and when he went on a freebie to amsterdam.
he coulldnt believe the red light district , so we told him to take some photos of the girls.!! as you,know they go off their head if they see it

Simon C

Not really a wind up in the joke sense, but management aren't listening to us with teh stress their putting us under.

So my entire unit quit!!! There were lots of high level meetings on Friday!! if my team don't exist there is no company!!

Waiting to see whats to be said on Monday

turbomatt

iTrader: (1)

When i did work experience at hull uni many years ago when i finished my two weeks they gave me a wage packet at the end when everyone got theirs.I was well chuffed until i opened it, i got a wage slip inside with "**** all" printed on it

Chip Sengravy

I can see that one taking off, Snet is full of EX KGB agents isn't it?

Seamaster

very very easy !! less than £80.00 for the equipment . Tap in either outside the property or inside .Set it all up and it takes seconds to install.

Works a treat !! They cant escape the bill when it comes in !!

Chip Sengravy

Hillarious, I bet they laugh all the way to the cop shop...

speedymonkey

Tam the bam

I got my old contracts manager to call the local massage parlor(he didn't know that, he just had a number) and ask for a lass by the name of Sue Persecks(written on one of those wee call back ticket things), it was an April fools and all the office knew about it bar him, anyhoo the call went something like this..

CM. Hi can I speak to Sue
Massage parlor. Sorry we have no one here called Sue
CM. Really I was asked to call and ask for Sue Persecks
Massage parlor lass. goes in to fits of laughter and says 'you want super sex?'
CM. (red faced) sorry I think I dialed the wrong number and hangs up

Our office are in stitches and the CM says to me 'I'll get you back you wee *******' he never did though

corradoboy

Reprogrammed every contact in my bosses phone to The Samaritans. Filled a load of ballons with pummice powder and taped them to the door of his locker with several well placed snap-off blades along the edge. Jacked up colleagues car and put blocks under the wishbones so the driven wheels were 1/4" off the ground. Moved colleagues cars and not told them where to. Fairy lights in a shiner (glass table with fluorescent lighting beneath). Half a bag of sugar in the boss's coffee when ha wasn't looking. Found a chemical at work that disolved plastic vending machine cups, so a quick squirt whilst someone wasn't looking and 30-40s later when they picked it up they got wet. Clear film over the toilet bowl. Remove toilet paper from the dispenser, leaving 1 sheet hung and a strategically placed piece so it looks like there's plenty. Polystyrene packaging in a packet of corn puff crisps. A piece of tape along the back of a snap-off bladed craft knife and then snap each segment. Screw a colleagues head as you negate every mouse click he makes using Apple Remote Desktop or Timbuktu. Put a "shutdown" Applescript in their Start-Up Items and watch them take 2 hours to get their Mac running.

Not for w*rk, but when on holiday throw a Lion Bar in the pool and then sit at the bar enjoying people's reaction.

Andy T

Swap the M and N keys on somebody's keyboard when they leave the room.

Kieran_Burns

iTrader: (1)

I was got with a classic one time.

I was going out with a girl called Liz at the time and someone had left me note on my desk:

Call Liz at: 071-xxx xxx xxx (central London number)

So I call the number and ask for Liz

This REALLY, REALLY refined and very polite voice came back "I'm sorry Sir, I'm afraid someone is having a laugh at your expense. This is Buckingham Palace."

I got a guy on Friday - he was setting up a 60" plasma on the wall and getting the schedules up on the screen... I had the remote.

Every time he turned it on... 2 seconds... off.

On.... off....

O... Oh it's on.. Wha??? Off... What the fu**??? On....

We were absolutely falling about laughing behind him and the poor guy had no idea.

Eventually he turns around and looks at us lot with tears streaming down our faces and me holding the remote.

"are you twa**ing about????"

So simple...