prodriva

My Gran has been is hospital since just after the new year. A lot of things have gone on and she's had good days and bad. The bad days are now out weighing the good and the docs have been told by her and the family not to intervene if things go bad again. My father, uncle and aunt are now with her every day at visiting hours and its not looking good. My mums just called and things are pretty bad and to be prepared for the worst. I don't want her to die but it would be for the best as she's suffering quite a bit. At times like these it's hard to not let emotions take over.

gpssti4

iTrader: (6)

Sorry, there's nothing to say to make you feel better, just that I understand your pain. I hope that you get to see her before anything happens.

Brendan Hughes

See her/ phone her and tell her you love her and thanks.

prodriva

Problem is she's gone down hill fast and according to my parents she's not looking good. Basically everything is giving up on her and we (the grandchildren) have been told we can visit if we want to but they advise we don't and remember her as she was over Christmas. I'll be calling my Dad tonight as Mum said he was very upset this morning. Hard times ahead.

Freelance Badger

had similar problem - was advised not to go see my dad all hooked up to machines - but felt I had to before it was too late - but it didn't really do me any favours and now can't watch any kinda hospital programe without having to turn it off when it gets to those kinda scenes...

SJ_Skyline

There's a lot of people on NSR that have suffered losses over the last 12 months. My wife went through a similar experience last year and the most positive thing that she drew from it was that her Granfather had a good innings and lived a very rich and full life. Words won't make anything better and hard as it is to hear - you don't get better from old age. Just concentrate on the positives: all the happy memories you have of your gran.

KiwiGTI

Ignore any advice about seeing her - she is still a living person regardless of what anyone says. Go and see her, I'd regret it if I didn't.

Must be worth it just to see her eyes or smile light up once more.

fabiavrs

Better to go see her than regret never saying good bye.

Stephb1986

i recommend you go and see her to be honest my grandad died 3 years ago i never got chance to say goodbye and i feel guilty every day for it
my nan died on the 3rd of january this year i seen her a few hours before she died and now i know that she will be ok. im sorry theres nothing more that can be done if she's had a good life then thats great but remember the good times you had with her.
take care best wishes
Steph x

Neverguess

My friend lost her dad last year and spent 2 weeks at the hospital not seeing him but letting the others say she was nearby. She said she wouldn't be able to cope with having the memory in her head of that last image of him covered in tubes.

When it came to the time that he passed away, she shot in the door as she felt she had to, after being adamant there was no way she would see him.

She is now glad she saw him as it gives her some sort of closure but it's not ideal.

Basically you will know what to do when the time comes. However if you are not in the position to be at the hospital all the time then don't beat yourself up about it.

Ultimately you will know what you need to do, no one can say what's right or wrong

dpb

My nan went over new year, the 4th in fact . 93, a good age , she didnt want to live anymore .! did have afew things wrong of course as well as being a lifelong asthma sufferer but was good for her age and just stopped eating and then drinkin - which was fairly destressing , but i believe it was best someone in the family (me ) was there till the end

David Lock

It's your call of course but I would go and see her. Bugger the tubes she might just have the energy to know you are there. Chin up. d

pslewis

We will all get there in the end - think of what you would want in your last days and supply it, would you like to see everyone? Or stay with your memories?

Dying is something we do alone ....... just make damned sure you can look back and smile at what you did in your life.

RUDDY

went through this last year mate! its not nice! just make sure you see her however much it hurts to!

prodriva

Thanks for everyones kind words.

Gran passed away last night at around 2am. Spoke to Dad about 7ish last night and I could tell he was very upset but at the time she was stable. She passed away in her sleep.

Sitting here at my desk at work as I just got the message Dad left on my mobile in the early hours of this morning. Best to keep busy I suppose

Wish

iTrader: (2)

Really sorry to hear this. Be strong for your Dad !

SJ_Skyline

Sorry to hear this mate, at least it was peaceful and she's no longer suffering

gpssti4

iTrader: (6)

Our thoughts are with you. I hopeI can speak for all of Scoobynet.

Leslie

Of course you can.

Les

JoanUK300

prodriva.....think you should be with your family really.....been there done that....you`ll come down like a ton of bricks if you don`t....go home be with family and friends, believe me, although you won`t be able to do anything, it will be for the best....you need support from everyone and they will need you around too....

Prayers are with you all.....

Joan...xx

STi wanna Subaru

iTrader: (1)

Been there last year with one Gran. she died in hospital. In the end I wasn't sad about it as she was still quite aware of things when I went to see her. She smiled and was pleased to see me. She then took a turn for the worse and there was no quality of life nor would there be had she improved. The best thing was she passed peacefully with all her family there.

My other nan is in hospital now as well (she's 95). She's meant ot be coming out today and my dad says she's improving but not great. As long as she has some quality of life I'm happy but I know she'd hate to be in a state where she could do nothing for herself. It's not something you like to think or say but if it's a case of every day being a total chore with even the most simple task casuing suffering and pain then I think you're better off not being here.

I hope yours improves and you get to spend more time with her. if not the case then think of the positives ie the laughs and good times and just know she's had a lot in life and by the sounds she did pretty Ok.