Help Tony
02 April 2006, 12:39 PM
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Help Tony
A motorist, on his way home from work in Westminster came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself,
"Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual."
After a short while he noticed a police officer coming towards him between the lines of stopped cars.
He rolled down his window and asked, "Officer, what`s the hold up?"
The constable replied,
"Tony Blair is depressed, so he has stopped his motorcar and is threatening to douse himself with petrol and set himself on fire.
He is upset that no one believes his stories:
about why we went to war in Iraq;
or that there is no pension crisis;
and no worsening economy;
or that there is no constant adding of stealth taxes;
or that the health service is safe in his hands;
or that his education reforms are doing any good;
or that immigration is under control;
or that he is not George Bush's lapdog;
or that his party's proposed tax cuts won't help anyone except his wealthy friends;
or that his chairmanship of the European Community hasn't just led to more power being surrendered to the French;
or that the sacked NHS boss deserves his multi-million payoff and peerage;
or that his Cartier-adorned Wicked Witch never breaks the ministerial code over her blind passion for freebies;
or that none of his cabinet ministers have ever had dodgy spouses and/or secret offshore bank accounts and/or questionable shareholdings;
or that he will never be caught up in Silvio's dirty laundry spin;
or that following the 'sham' Hutton report he is increasingly using the BBC for his own political ends ........
So we're taking up a collection for him."
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Thoughtfully, the man asked, "How much have you got so far?"
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"About 40 gallons, but some people are still syphoning..........
"Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual."
After a short while he noticed a police officer coming towards him between the lines of stopped cars.
He rolled down his window and asked, "Officer, what`s the hold up?"
The constable replied,
"Tony Blair is depressed, so he has stopped his motorcar and is threatening to douse himself with petrol and set himself on fire.
He is upset that no one believes his stories:
about why we went to war in Iraq;
or that there is no pension crisis;
and no worsening economy;
or that there is no constant adding of stealth taxes;
or that the health service is safe in his hands;
or that his education reforms are doing any good;
or that immigration is under control;
or that he is not George Bush's lapdog;
or that his party's proposed tax cuts won't help anyone except his wealthy friends;
or that his chairmanship of the European Community hasn't just led to more power being surrendered to the French;
or that the sacked NHS boss deserves his multi-million payoff and peerage;
or that his Cartier-adorned Wicked Witch never breaks the ministerial code over her blind passion for freebies;
or that none of his cabinet ministers have ever had dodgy spouses and/or secret offshore bank accounts and/or questionable shareholdings;
or that he will never be caught up in Silvio's dirty laundry spin;
or that following the 'sham' Hutton report he is increasingly using the BBC for his own political ends ........
So we're taking up a collection for him."
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
Thoughtfully, the man asked, "How much have you got so far?"
..
..
..
..
..
"About 40 gallons, but some people are still syphoning..........
He can have what's in my tank.........AND it's Optimax, AND I'll supply the match!
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