Aztec Performance Ltd

iTrader: (234)

ie. have joint assets such as a house unresolved?


Bob

Milamber

iTrader: (2)

yes. 2 seperate things.

Aztec Performance Ltd

iTrader: (234)

So if the man wanted a divorce (on the basis of a seperation) he could hold off financial resolution until he would be in a stronger position, in the eyes of the courts (ie waits until children have grown up)?

ie wait for a 50/50 settlement as opposed to a 30/70 - 40/60 settlement he may get now?

redwrx

yes you can, i did/ have.....

Aztec Performance Ltd

iTrader: (234)

What if the wife opposes and wishes to settle up?

Spoon

When I read your original question I thought somebody has to be lucky for any wife to agree this once they've seen a solicitor.

Good luck though, hope you are one of the lucky unlucky ones heading in that direction.

Aztec Performance Ltd

iTrader: (234)

Its not my marriage (I'm not married).

Just need to advise a family member.

kingofturds

iTrader: (1)

sign it all over to me and will hand it back after the divorce

Midlife......

iTrader: (2)

Yep

The finances from my first marriage are not complete.......she earns a shed load more than me and has assets of multiple grand !!

I often ponder how much the lawyers would charge to get me my £50K plus back.........and then I fall back to sleep

Midlife.....

Aztec Performance Ltd

iTrader: (234)

So the wife cannot have a financial settlement and a clean break if the husband opposes the settlement but wants the divorce?

It would be in the best interests of the child to have a clean break settlement at the time of divorce.


Bob

stevie_c

You can get divorced, but until the settlement is done there is no clean break.

I applied for divorce in 2004, she decided she wanted money from me, after 2 years seperated! My solicitor advised that I get finance settled before I go through with divorce, I replied that I didn't want to be married to someone like that (we were on good terms until then).
I finalised the divorce Jan 2005, settlement side is only just getting sorted, I went from being advised not to pay a penny and that I would get my legal fees back to £3700 legal fees (so far) and I was told on Friday I should offer her a lump sum! Not Good!!

mpr

I find all this marriage lark very scary.... that's why I told her straight... There is no effin way I'm getting married, especially now that we've got a kid. It's financial suicide for the man, and is tantamount to legalised robbery if the woman decides she want's out....

I reckon if most men actually looked at the likely financial outcome of a divorce, a large proportion of them would never get married.

Aztec Performance Ltd

iTrader: (234)

Maybe I have a little different view on this topic. I think the women is more than entitled to a good 70-80% if raising any children.

That aside, it seems there is no clearcut answer re a clean break and a divorce if both parties want a divorce but one party doesn't wish to have financial settlement?

stevie_c

Bob, I agree with you that if children are involved they shouldn't suffer because mum and dad don't get on anymore.
Luckily, in my case there are no kids involved, I dread to think how messy it would have been then......

redwrx

Bob'5, how the fc*k can you honestly believe that the woman is entitled to 70- 80%......maybe you havent been through it yet, cos im sure you'll change your opinion rapidly.

I was 24, when i met my wife to be...., at 26 i was married , then divorced 9 yrs later... with the debt ive been left, i'll be 65, before ive paid it off ........... and you think thats fair ...... (i pay my way with the kids, i have them every weekend, yeh, i got the house, but i cant afford to live in it...so i rent it, my salary pays all the debts).

I was working from the age of 16, everything i'd saved has gone ....

and thats fair....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


my situation wasnt messy, i shoulder the debts so my kids wouldnt suffer ..instead, i do.


i chose not to have a financial resolution, because it would have bankrupt me.....


For a bloke, marriage is legalised financial suicide......... the woman can do what ever she wants, sleep with whoever she wants ...walk away, and the innocent gets crucified.

mpr

Surely the csa make sure (or at least should do) that any children are properly provided for, and so whether you're married or not shouldn't matter.

The real differences for a man being married or not from what I can tell are:
if I had 50k in the bank, in my name (cus I effin earned it), and we split up when unmarried - then I get to keep my money. If we're married, then if I'm lucky I get to keep half (and probably a lot less)

We live in a nice house, but I'll be ordered out and will have to continue to service the mortgage as long as the kids are under 18, but will have no right to any of my equity.... It won't matter that neither of us needs such a big house and the sensible thing would be to sell it and ensure that the child got to live in a sensible house.

I'll have to pay ~25% of my net salary for just one child's maintenance... ok I agree that you should pay towards your kids, but no kid should cost 25% of my net pay!

You may also have to pay your ex "maintenance" to keep HER in the manner to which she's become accustomed

Couple all the above factors and what you get is a total inability to live a decent life until your kids are at least 18! Your ex will have no such problem though and will probably be on to fleecing the next geezer whilst your living in an effin bedsit.

And all this can be yours..... through no fault of your own! Wow, where do I sign? NOT