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Old 28 August 2005, 01:59 PM
  #1  
Gutted
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Default I need to know

I have a partner for 7 years and we have one son. In the last 4 years I have caught him out about 4 times emailing or texting other women. There was even a rumour going around that he slept with his friends wife (he denied it) Anyway things have been back on track and we were talking about getting married but yesterday I found out that he gave some tart of the internet his mobile number and she texted him. I got to it first and he has been discussing the size of his dick with her. At first he denied it but after he realised that I had phoned the women and spoke to her he couldnt back down. But he has now changed track and if I mention it he treatend to leave me.

I am asking this because I dont have any close male friends to ask, does he keep doing it because I am a doormat and forgive him? Is he going to keep doing this to me? He knows how much he hurts me but doesnt seem to care. should I tell him to leave? It will leave me in financial crap but he has me over a barrel.

This is not a wind me, I am absolutely devestated and i havent stopped crying for 2 days. I drove to my friends house yesterday and i had to pull over to throw up. I feel that my heart has been ripped out. I have never done anything to him, I have been loyal and faithful to him.I was offered somebodys phone number last month but i turned it down as i couldnt do that to him.

Will he keep doing this to me? Will the pain go away? I think that i have no option but to get him to move out. I cant talk to him as he loses his rag and accusses me of checking up on him - which I do as I dont trust him. Is it too late.

Devestated.
Old 28 August 2005, 02:15 PM
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Richard_P
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I think you answered it yourself in the last paragraph. Difficult to see how things could change, either accept it or end it.

It's strange that instead of apologising he's defensive, if it was just a bit of flirting then thats fine but discussing the size of his dick is going a bit far.
Old 28 August 2005, 02:15 PM
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Diamond Dave
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Maybe you are not exciting enough in the bedroom and he has to seek stimulation elsewhere?
Perhaps your constant checking up on him is pushing him away.
You need to take a long look at yourself and ask yourself why he doesn't find you desireable enough to be loyal to you.

Another thing to consider is any sexual experience he gets from the dirty women he meets he will be able to benefit you.
Why don't you ask him if you can join him in a threesome? That would really blow his mind.

HTH
Old 28 August 2005, 02:16 PM
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assumed name perchance...?
Old 28 August 2005, 02:19 PM
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LG John
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The trust has gone, you feel hurt, he feels you are nagging and checking up on him, etc, etc. Its over so leave. I've tried to fight back from where you are and its p!ssing into the wind. Move on and learn from this experience

BTW, I think we need a new forum
Old 28 August 2005, 02:22 PM
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LeeMac
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get rid
Old 28 August 2005, 02:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Saxo Boy
The trust has gone, you feel hurt, he feels you are nagging and checking up on him, etc, etc. Its over so leave. I've tried to fight back from where you are and its p!ssing into the wind. Move on and learn from this experience

BTW, I think we need a new forum
Agony Aunt

Simon.
Old 28 August 2005, 03:16 PM
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Brun
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I can't honestly see you trusting him 100% EVER. You have evidence that he is possibly gonna get some with another woman.
Trust is the most important building block of a relationship. With out it - you ani't got a relationship IMO
Keep us posted.
Old 28 August 2005, 04:41 PM
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I would tell him to leave or leave yourself, whichever is the easiest. You will never trust him again, and if he's that defensive about it, he's got something else to hide. Cut your losses, you can do far better than that. I know its difficult when you have a lot to lose but better that than being miserable with him.
Steff <hug>
Old 28 August 2005, 04:53 PM
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Big Den
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Originally Posted by Gutted
I have a partner for 7 years and we have one son. In the last 4 years I have caught him out about 4 times emailing or texting other women. There was even a rumour going around that he slept with his friends wife (he denied it) Anyway things have been back on track and we were talking about getting married but yesterday I found out that he gave some tart of the internet his mobile number and she texted him. I got to it first and he has been discussing the size of his dick with her. At first he denied it but after he realised that I had phoned the women and spoke to her he couldnt back down. But he has now changed track and if I mention it he treatend to leave me.

I am asking this because I dont have any close male friends to ask, does he keep doing it because I am a doormat and forgive him? Is he going to keep doing this to me? He knows how much he hurts me but doesnt seem to care. should I tell him to leave? It will leave me in financial crap but he has me over a barrel.

This is not a wind me, I am absolutely devestated and i havent stopped crying for 2 days. I drove to my friends house yesterday and i had to pull over to throw up. I feel that my heart has been ripped out. I have never done anything to him, I have been loyal and faithful to him.I was offered somebodys phone number last month but i turned it down as i couldnt do that to him.

Will he keep doing this to me? Will the pain go away? I think that i have no option but to get him to move out. I cant talk to him as he loses his rag and accusses me of checking up on him - which I do as I dont trust him. Is it too late.

Devestated.
You aren't perhaps one of the women from the Timothy Prendergast situation are you or do you know him?

If you do not already know him, perhaps, you could arrange to meet Timothy as you are both having relationship issues and maybe could 'comfort' each other!!

At this rate this forum will soon be called 'Lonely Hearts.Net' or 'My Relationship is fooked - what should I do.net'

Den
Old 28 August 2005, 04:57 PM
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dump him!!

he will just keep doing it, tell him your sick of it, and you have found a real man that wont cheat on you! that should hit him in the right place!!

he will just keep doing it to you!

jamo
Old 28 August 2005, 05:11 PM
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Can`t believe you are willing to let him treat you like this..........get a grip and chuck him out........you definitely don`t him in your life.
Old 28 August 2005, 05:20 PM
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Can I have your number?
Old 28 August 2005, 05:39 PM
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Play him at his own game. get guys to text/e-mail you and see how he feels about it. If he's upset, angry, demoralised etc, tell him "Yeah. **** isn't it?" Then throw him out. Relationships are 100% trust. Any less and it's not gonna work. There are some decent guys out there looking for decent women, I'm sure you'll find one Good luck.
Old 28 August 2005, 05:50 PM
  #15  
rizla06
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Originally Posted by Gutted
Will he keep doing this to me? Will the pain go away? I think that i have no option but to get him to move out.
I think you already know the answer to that! Any bloke who continues to do that even after getting caught out, is a total ******* *******. Get shot of him and move on.
Old 28 August 2005, 06:14 PM
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Originally Posted by rizla06
I think you already know the answer to that! Any bloke who continues to do that even after getting caught out, is a total ******* *******. Get shot of him and move on.
Is that from a woman's point of view? It's not him who is the ''*******'' she deserves it if she is still with him after catching him out 4 times. He's got a licence to do as he pleases and is doing so.
Old 28 August 2005, 06:42 PM
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astraboy
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Any bloke who continues to do that even after getting caught out, is a total ******* *******. Get shot of him and move on.
Agreed, cheating is the worst form of betrayal. Get rid of the guy, but not before you've given him a shot in the pills first!
astraboy.
Old 28 August 2005, 08:00 PM
  #18  
rizla06
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Originally Posted by Diamond Dave
Is that from a woman's point of view? It's not him who is the ''*******'' she deserves it if she is still with him after catching him out 4 times. He's got a licence to do as he pleases and is doing so.
Utter bull****. An "*******" isnt gender specific, applies to anyone who repeatedly messes a partner around and he/she doesnt have licence to do as they please when kids are involved imo and thats from a male point of view mate
Old 28 August 2005, 08:29 PM
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seems to me that at least ONE person in here is 'up ' to this sort of thing anyway,....judging from and reading 'into' some of the replies........but, thats just what IM seeing,... ..if I were you, 'gutted' ..
i'd be out of there in a heartbeat!!!
Old 28 August 2005, 08:57 PM
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SCOsazOBY
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Get rid of the waste of space and tell him a few hometruths like his ***** isnt that big afterall! Then screw him with the CSA!

You can do a lot lot lot better and never let a man treat you like that again, once youve got the courage you will be a lot more confident and stronger from it

Take care and keep smiling
Old 28 August 2005, 09:20 PM
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brihoppy
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is it just me being cynical or does anyone think, sad as it is, that the only thing that seems certain in relationships these days is that they all end...?!
Old 28 August 2005, 09:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Diamond Dave
He's got a licence to do as he pleases and is doing so.
Tool.
Old 28 August 2005, 11:02 PM
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Smile

Originally Posted by LeeMac
get rid
Agreed Been there, bought the t-shirt Life gets better
Old 29 August 2005, 12:35 AM
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hectic
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Originally Posted by G-STAR
Tool.
agreed.......
Old 29 August 2005, 04:02 AM
  #25  
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Originally Posted by hectic
agreed.......
tool indeed.
Old 29 August 2005, 07:25 AM
  #26  
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Kick him into touch. He is not worth it.

Les
Old 29 August 2005, 07:52 AM
  #27  
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you have 3 choices

1 dump him
2 play him at his own game (find yourself a text/e-mail **** buddy)
3 put up and shut up

the ***** in your court...
Old 29 August 2005, 08:59 AM
  #28  
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LOL@ some of the losers on here. You can tell who has been cheated on by some of the replies. Get over it and move on. Life is what you make it and so are relationships, if you let somebody get away with being unfaithful once the chances are good they will do it again. If you don't want to still be sat there in 12 months time moaning your lot get rid of him now, if you decide to give him ''one more chance'' be prepared for him to stray yet again.
Old 29 August 2005, 09:13 AM
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.

Dump him - he doesn't love you and thinks his **** is more important than the hapiness of his child and his child's mother.

CSA first thing tomorrow
Old 29 August 2005, 09:20 AM
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and print off all our replies and give them to him so he can see that he is now the talk of the web!!!



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