I need to know
29 August 2005, 10:07 AM
#33
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It maybe that he's flirting but then again he might not be.
TBH if you don't trust him then you never will, you may be able to hold it together for years but eventually it'll catch up to you.
Tell him now that what he's done is wrong, even if he was only flirting, he been deceiptfull and doesn't deserve your trust.
TBH if you don't trust him then you never will, you may be able to hold it together for years but eventually it'll catch up to you.
Tell him now that what he's done is wrong, even if he was only flirting, he been deceiptfull and doesn't deserve your trust.
30 August 2005, 01:18 PM
#35
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Many many thanks you guys. Are I am going through this exaxt same thing at the moment, and you have made me realise that he will NEVER change.
Thanks alot, and here's to a single (& upset for the moment) lmf x
Thanks alot, and here's to a single (& upset for the moment) lmf x
30 August 2005, 01:55 PM
#36
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lmf... sorry to hear you're going through this 
Unfortunately if you find a bad'un who behaves like this... they will never change
Have you managed to get your dog back?
Andy
Unfortunately if you find a bad'un who behaves like this... they will never change
Have you managed to get your dog back?
Andy
30 August 2005, 02:09 PM
#37
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Originally Posted by Diamond Dave
if you let somebody get away with being unfaithful once the chances are good they will do it again.
30 August 2005, 02:40 PM
#38
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Speaking from my experience, have you asked him why? If he threatens to leave, its because he cant deal with the guilt and wants it "forgotten" asap, although it doesnt happen does it. At the end of the day the trust is gone.
As for why he did it, only he can answer that, but with me it was boredom, and a desperation to try to find a way out so that I didnt feel guilty, as technically she had ended it. However I realised how stupid I was being and grew up and took the steps needed to remedy the situation, even though it really hurt. I'm not saying this is the case in your situation, just that before you can even think about trying to fix it, you need to find the underlying reason as to why it happened in the first place.
You need to decide yourself first if you want him and the relationship, and then if you do, see what he has to say.
I know breaking up can be hard. I have just gone through it, and it tore me apart. Can only imagine how bad it is with a child too. You must at the end of the day do what is best for you and your child.
As for why he did it, only he can answer that, but with me it was boredom, and a desperation to try to find a way out so that I didnt feel guilty, as technically she had ended it. However I realised how stupid I was being and grew up and took the steps needed to remedy the situation, even though it really hurt. I'm not saying this is the case in your situation, just that before you can even think about trying to fix it, you need to find the underlying reason as to why it happened in the first place.
You need to decide yourself first if you want him and the relationship, and then if you do, see what he has to say.
I know breaking up can be hard. I have just gone through it, and it tore me apart. Can only imagine how bad it is with a child too. You must at the end of the day do what is best for you and your child.
30 August 2005, 04:52 PM
#40
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Originally Posted by Gutted
I have a partner for 7 years and we have one son. In the last 4 years I have caught him out about 4 times emailing or texting other women. There was even a rumour going around that he slept with his friends wife (he denied it) Anyway things have been back on track and we were talking about getting married but yesterday I found out that he gave some tart of the internet his mobile number and she texted him. I got to it first and he has been discussing the size of his dick with her. At first he denied it but after he realised that I had phoned the women and spoke to her he couldnt back down. But he has now changed track and if I mention it he treatend to leave me.
I am asking this because I dont have any close male friends to ask, does he keep doing it because I am a doormat and forgive him? Is he going to keep doing this to me? He knows how much he hurts me but doesnt seem to care. should I tell him to leave? It will leave me in financial crap but he has me over a barrel.
This is not a wind me, I am absolutely devestated and i havent stopped crying for 2 days. I drove to my friends house yesterday and i had to pull over to throw up. I feel that my heart has been ripped out. I have never done anything to him, I have been loyal and faithful to him.I was offered somebodys phone number last month but i turned it down as i couldnt do that to him.
Will he keep doing this to me? Will the pain go away? I think that i have no option but to get him to move out. I cant talk to him as he loses his rag and accusses me of checking up on him - which I do as I dont trust him. Is it too late.
Devestated.
I am asking this because I dont have any close male friends to ask, does he keep doing it because I am a doormat and forgive him? Is he going to keep doing this to me? He knows how much he hurts me but doesnt seem to care. should I tell him to leave? It will leave me in financial crap but he has me over a barrel.
This is not a wind me, I am absolutely devestated and i havent stopped crying for 2 days. I drove to my friends house yesterday and i had to pull over to throw up. I feel that my heart has been ripped out. I have never done anything to him, I have been loyal and faithful to him.I was offered somebodys phone number last month but i turned it down as i couldnt do that to him.
Will he keep doing this to me? Will the pain go away? I think that i have no option but to get him to move out. I cant talk to him as he loses his rag and accusses me of checking up on him - which I do as I dont trust him. Is it too late.
Devestated.
I know for a fact that my missus is a paranoid lunatic when it comes to stuff like this (you're not her - are you??!!), and even athough there is absolutely no substance to the allegations she makes, things seem to get twisted around, and events that actually never happened suddenly are so real and the slightest hint of suggesion becomes concrete fact.
I hope I'm not coming across as a t0sser, but having experienced an insecure partner, I question the logic of your concrete argument for his infidelity.
I do sympathise though.
C
Last edited by Big C; 31 August 2005 at 07:51 PM.
30 August 2005, 04:59 PM
#41
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Originally Posted by Diamond Dave
LOL@ some of the losers on here. You can tell who has been cheated on by some of the replies. Get over it and move on. Life is what you make it and so are relationships, if you let somebody get away with being unfaithful once the chances are good they will do it again. If you don't want to still be sat there in 12 months time moaning your lot get rid of him now, if you decide to give him ''one more chance'' be prepared for him to stray yet again.
30 August 2005, 07:15 PM
#42
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Does it not strike anybody as strange people are posting their intimate problems on a car forum? It comes across as a very odd thing to do in my eyes but that could be because I am "normal".
31 August 2005, 08:18 AM
#44
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Originally Posted by Witch Hunter
Does it not strike anybody as strange people are posting their intimate problems on a car forum? It comes across as a very odd thing to do in my eyes but that could be because I am "normal".
31 August 2005, 09:02 AM
#46
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First things first, do you have the confidence to go it alone? By the sounds of it ATM you are dependant on him financially - what about the house / flat? Is it owned / rented /council?
If you decide to leave then perhaps its best to plan ahead, which all depends on your job/housing position and if you have friends and family that can accomodate you for a bit.
IMO leave, don't chuck him out. you will be after a new life, so literally move on, even if its down the road
If you decide to leave then perhaps its best to plan ahead, which all depends on your job/housing position and if you have friends and family that can accomodate you for a bit.
IMO leave, don't chuck him out. you will be after a new life, so literally move on, even if its down the road
31 August 2005, 09:55 AM
#47
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A man who needs to "Discuss the size of his dick" with another woman via text messages clearly has a very small one and needs all the reassurance he can get!
I'm with the others - he won't change - better to have 6mths or so getting over him than a lifetime of pain trying to live with him.
I know your kid complicates things - but it's better for them to grow up in a happy home than in an environment where there is constant tension
Try talking to Relate - they'll see you on your own and can help you work out how to deal with the end of a relationship.
Good luck!
Oh - and LMF - about time too girl - glad to see you've come to your senses! You deserve so much better!
I'm with the others - he won't change - better to have 6mths or so getting over him than a lifetime of pain trying to live with him.
I know your kid complicates things - but it's better for them to grow up in a happy home than in an environment where there is constant tension
Try talking to Relate - they'll see you on your own and can help you work out how to deal with the end of a relationship.
Good luck!
Oh - and LMF - about time too girl - glad to see you've come to your senses! You deserve so much better!