Rumplestiltskin!

OK so my conservatory backs onto a cul-de-sac & one of the houses there has a couple of kids who think its great fun to throw things (sweets, bits of cake etc) onto my conservatory. While not doing any damage, its a pain in the ***.
Been round there & spoken to the parents who seem not very bothered, & If I confront the kids I just know I will end up twatting one of them round the head & end up in trouble.
We are moving in a few weeks anyway, so not a real problem, but I was wondering if anyone had any ideas for a little "come-back" from me ?

The dad is a painter & decorator so I thought maybe get hom out to a bogus job 30 miles away, or maybe have 2 tonnes of sand delivered on their drive....something like that.......childish I know but what the hell.......any ideas ??

CooperS

Dump a load of dog poo on his conservatory roof

David Lock

Shoot them? Say you found them on your property?

mad_dr

Burn his house down... An eye for an eye!

Vegescoob

Anonymous call to Social Services?

T4molie

Stink Bomb the kids?

sti-04!!

Bombard them with takeaway delivery's

"its not big & its not clever"

Rumplestiltskin!

LOL great ideas, like them all - but a few a little OTT I think !
The Pizza one is good, just after something to wind them up a bit.

The dad parks his car just behind our side fence sometimes so I have easy access to it......banana up the tailpipe ?

Brendan Hughes

No, sweets and cakes on the windscreen.

Rumplestiltskin!

or WD40, smears like a bugger when you put the wipers on to wash it off.....

Dunk

iTrader: (1)

A bottle of old spice / blue stratos down the heater vents is always amusing.

D

Andy Tang

iTrader: (3)

How about few raw bits of meat at the end of their garden?

The rats, cats, etc, will start to appear (probably after you move)!!

And with barbeque season around the corner, they won't be able to venture to the garden without wondering what the smell is!!!

Regacy

On your last day tell the kids how much you've enjoyed living next to them and give them both a couple of wraps of crack. Should be enough to get them addicted and you can be happy in the knowledge that you've accelerated their progress down the slippery chav slope.

Or you could decide to let it go, concentrate on moving house and hope your new neighbours don't wind you up quite so much.
;-)
R

Rumplestiltskin!

LOL I used to work at a car garage.
We used to get a bag full of the little paper circles from a hole punch & drop them into the inside vents on the bosses demonstrator, then turn the blowers on full without the keys in the ignition.
Boss would get in, turn the key & whoooosh ......... its snowing !
Stuff would come out for weeks afterwards......boy did he get mad !

kingofturds

iTrader: (1)

bury them alive in your garden

dr_ming

Get some fish sauce (used in Thai cooking), and pour it into the heater intake of their car. The only cure for this is to scrap the car, it stinks so much.

shaunywrx

And i thought you lot were such nice people.

Oh alright then, break their skinny little leg's with a sledge hammer, that'll slow em down a bit!

Jerome

Get some very ripe bananas and smear them (less the skins obviously ) all over his car.

Once it has dried it is a complete b'stard to get off whilst not damaging anything.

Iwan

Do nothing until 6 months after you've moved, then all of the above time 10.

Get a big pack of sodium chlorate weedkiller crystals (looks and pours like salt) and draw a gigantic pen1s on their front lawn - along with the words "Paedo Scum" in 3ft high letters if there's space. They'll have to re-turf to get rid of it.

Several packs of mince and a pint of maggots through the letter box might be quite amusing too.

kingofturds

iTrader: (1)

also buy a pigs head from a butchers (alternitevely get one yourself off a pig) wait for it to "ripen" then send it to their house with a few maggots thrown in for comedy effect complete with note saying "you will be next if you dont keep your thievin little scumbag offspring under control sucker"

richie rich

for this i would apply for such things as pinnis extensoins, enlargements, information on how to get an erection, and things alike, do this every week, and send to there address, and similer for the mum, but leave the kids alone as the patents should be held responsable, this will get to them...

richie rich

Also if your minted send flowers to the kids mum every monday, you must send them to her + a little message, what with all the leaflets, then flowers, a storm will brew..............

kingofturds

iTrader: (1)

not enough violonce for my liking

richie rich

oh there would be ,imagine the aguments, him saying WHAT YOU THInK IVE A PROBLEM WITH MY PINNIS, then who the **** are the flowers from, THE WOULD BE

Leslie

Got a set of steps, and a garden hose?

Les

punkie

Horses head in the bed

ThrustSSC

Leave calling cards for 24-hour massage services in every phone box you see - with their number on them. That'll teach the parents a lesson.

kingofturds

iTrader: (1)

give harry the hitman a call or txt sure he can sort you out (07967792284)