jaycee

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six
days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him on the seventh day
resting. He enquired of god, "Where have you been?"

God pointed downwards through the clouds. "Look Michael, look what I've
made" said God.

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call
it Earth and its going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth, "For
example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth
while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will
be a hot spot and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a
continent of white people and over there is a continent of black
people." God continued, pointing to the different countries. "This one
will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and
covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of
land and asked, "What's that?"

"Ah," said God. "That's the north of England, the most glorious place on
earth. There are beautiful people, seven great cities in Yorkshire
alone, and many impressive towns; it is the home of the world's finest
artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The
people from North England are going to be modest, intelligent and
humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be
extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be
known throughout the world as speakers of truth."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about
balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!"

God replied very wisely, " Wait till you see the set of w*nkers I'm
putting down South!!"


Jason

16vmarc

_Meridian_

iTrader: (1)

Apparently God is not omnipotent....


M

Walwal

Quality!!!

LMFAO.

Andy.

scoobyp1

iTrader: (4)

i think you will find that your story has already been used.......... The original version went something like this :-

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for 6 days. Eventually Gabriel the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.
He inquired of God, "Where have you been??"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Gabriel, Look at what I've made"
Archangel Gabriel looked puzzled and said-
"what is it?"
"It's a planet" replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm
going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance".
"Balance?" inquired Gabriel, still confused.
God explained pointing todifferent parts of Earth, "for example Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor;
the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people",
God continued, pointing to different countries. "And over there, I call
this place America. North America will be rich and powerful and cold,
while South America will be poor, and hot and friendly. And the little spot in
the middle is Central America, which is a hot spot. Can you see the balance??"
"Yes!" said the Archangel, impressed by Gods work, and then he pointed to a small country in Northern Europe, "what's that one?"
"Ah," said God, "That's Cymru (or Wales), the most glorious place on Earth.
There are beautiful snow capped mountains, untouched rivers, streams and lakes of exquisite, timeless beauty. The people make a drink called cwrw (or beer) which means the 'Water of Life'. The people are good looking, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as warriors, engineers, inventors and pioneers".
Gabriel gasped in wonder and then admiration but then exclaimed "You said there will be a BALANCE!"
God replied wisely> ...> "Wait until you see the W**KER'S I'm putting next to them!"

BOB.T

Tremendous

Bob (Yorkshireman!)

what would scooby do

still funny after all these years

very adaptable punnage

Jerome

Whatever makes the Northerners/Welsh feel better about not being Southerners and English...

scoobyp1

iTrader: (4)

Jerome - If it makes you feel better then im oh so gutted im not English and a southerner... i mean, your such a nice bunch of people, loved all over the UK and the world arent you..........

Jerome

Obviously 2 smilies wasn't enough to make you realise I was joking. The thread was rather light hearted until you blundered in...

As for the English being loved abroad - English footballs fans aren't desperately popular, and there are many parts of Europe where lagers louts aren't particularly popular.

However, I have travelled many places where the English (as well as the Welsh,Scottish and Irish) are well liked. Here in Canada, for instance, my accent goes down rather well - especially with waitresses.

SCOSaltire

of course, God drove down from Scotland - heaven on Earth

Ray_li

Think he was smoking when he created Earth

jaycee

Nah Ray, only when he created Birmingham!!

Jason

Ray_li

When was the last time you went to Birmingham?
I can see why you dont go in to Leeds but the misses been wanting to go York since I got the car.