Turbohot

My son (when he was 6) came up to me and asked what a condom was.I was too embarrassed to tell him so I said I would tell him some other time.Next day he comes up to me and says- "Mum, I found out !Jaque (his another little mate) told me that it is a SWIMMING CAP!"
Anymore interesting stuff anyone heard from their kids?

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

My little lad told us a ladies bits are called a 'China'.

SyHightower

iTrader: (1)

my daughter (aged 2 3/4) has obviously heard my blaspheming (sp)
last night the thunder woke her up and she ran upto me clung on like a monkey and shouted "cheese n' cripes" at every thunder clap.

Puff The Magic Wagon!

iTrader: (2)

Had a bramha this week

I couldn't possibly repeat it here but it involved me in written reports from her teachers + 15 mins with Head Teacher & Child Protection Officer

Fortunately all totally innocent

Bless their little cotton sox 'cos they know not what they say (or the grown up spin on it)

Buzzer

I went to my son's (age 11) open evening at Primary school a few weeks ago and as soon as i walked in his Teacher was laughing. I said hello and she just kept laughing. Eventually she said it was a pleasure to meet me and that she had wondered what his Dad looked like. I said "why?"

She proceeded to tell me that the kids had had their first "In depth" lesson in sex education a couple of days ago. When she pointed to the ladies bits on the diagram and asked "who knows what this is called" my son put his hand up and said "Fanny flaps miss"


thats my boy

Bubba po

PMSL.

My son's just had an operation to correct a fluid hernia. He's nearly six. I've since found out that he did an impromptu show and tell about his operation at school, where he solemnly told everyone in the class about his visit to the "Widgey Doctor" to have his "Massive Pod" made small again.

Buzzer

Bubba PMSL........................ and you wonder why the girls follow him home every night

Clart

Funny as ****!!!!

Lol LOl

DieselDoo

My daughter @ the age of about 5/6 informed us that her brother who is one year younger has a "peanut"

Daz34

I was teaching Fire Safety at a junior school once & it came to the dreaded any questions? bit.
One kid asked "How do you know if your smoke alarm is going off if you are deaf?" to which I replied that you can get a flashing light to alert you. They fired straight back "But what if you are blind & deaf?" to which I said that they would probably have a helper with them to hear it. They shot back "What if they are alone in bed?"
After what seemed like an age I said that you can get something that vibrates that you keep under your pillow.
This lad jumped up & shouted out "My Mum's got one of them!"
I couldn't continue after that.

Darren

fast bloke

Quote - Emma (6) in school last week talking about holidays - 'my mum gets really cross if I pull my dads tail. He pretends he is cross but I think he likes it.' Fortunately she went on to explain that she was talking about a 30 meter tail on a stunt kite. When the teacher told me the first bit I was......"SHE SAID WHAT!!!???"


Lucy(3) - "Dad - I loves you but your farts are gross"
Me - "What does gross mean"
Lucy "worse than cow farts"

Scoob99

iTrader: (1)

Buzzer brilliant mate

Alan C

My son (when he was 4 or 5) sitting in the backseat with a balloon. he dropped it and said 'Bollocks...' My missus and I looked at each other and let it go (in the hope that it was a one off.. ) 2 minutes later, he drops the balloon again and a 'Bollocks..' comes from the back..

Me: 'That's a grown up word son, you shouldn't be saying that'
Him: 'Dad, you always say that when you drop something..!'

Motto.. keep your gob shut around kids..

Jolly Green Monster

iTrader: (4)

my daughter was trying to talk to my aunt was have an uninterruptable discussion (well it would be a discussion only that mean you both get to talk) with me.. after she had tried a number of times to get her attention she turned to me at the age of 2 and said "She no listen to me!" it was hilarious!

Simon

damian666

I told my mum when I was younger that Tampax were air freshners that you put up your bum.

Of course it was mentioned at my wedding

Damo

brickboy

When my daughter was three and still in a car seat, I had to brake sharply. As I did so, she shouted "f#cking tw@t" from the back seat.

I asked her why, and she said: "It's what YOU say when you do that" ...

Rachael

I've had a few interesting ones while teaching.

My 2 favourite...

One girl went to France for the weekend, she came back very excited, telling me that she'd been up the Trifle Tower!

Another child said to me... "Daddy's weewee hurts." "Ok" I replied. "Yes, he and mummy say that 3 children are enough, so he went to the doctor. Now he says that we won't have anymore brothers and sisters, and his weewee hurts.!"

Oooh! Beware what you tell your children... especially young ones - we hear it all!

Soulgirl

My favourite is:

My Son Sam, who was 5 at the time was travelling on a public bus with his childminder. The childminder had lied about his age and said he was 4 - thus enabling a free ride.

As they sat down, an old lady looked lovingly at my Son and asked his name and age. He excitedly replied it was Sam and that he was 5 but today he was only 4 so that he didn't have to pay.

Soulgirl

Now that's funny

Buzzer

Fankoo

CrisPDuk

I got told off last week after my sister had taken my treasured two year old neice to the beach on holiday. Apoparently she had put one foot into the water and exclaimed "****, that's cold!"

Don't see why the f*cking ***** are all f*cking blaming me