Shaolin

After a nasty ending with a long time girlfriend i cant trust anyone, or should i say find it very hard to trust someone.
The only people i trust are my close family, how can i learn to trust people, i just seem to think every tosser is out to stitch me up!!!!

Old_Fart

In todays society thats a healthy attitude to take I'm afraid, and one that's shared by the vast majority. Give new aquaintances soem time and the good ones will prove themselves. Try not to be too generous at the beginning of any relationship (mate or girlfriend) and the real ones won't be put off.
I'm kinda bitter and cynical too btw LOL..Scoobynet helped nurture that.
Chuck

south-star

Dont agree.......personally the vast majority of folks are pretty decent and generous,you get the odd to$$er but look at the amount of time people here give helping others,mostly for little/no material gain.

Fight cynicism.

bigsinky

shaolin you might want to read the last few pages of this thread

cheers

big sinky

Old_Fart

Damn thats a depressing thread...I've been married 9 years next week and things have never been better! D'oh I've just given the relationship the kiss of death as this thread will be ressurected in a year now!
Chuck

Little Miss WRX

Time is the best healer.

All the best....

Chelle.

LG John

Spoken like a true gent...............who has never been screwed over!!!

People will boot you in the ***** any chance they get to further themselves in my experience - especially women!!

Shaolin

saxo boy......2 true

-=Buzz=-

not all people !

Take me, for instance - never cheated on a girlfriend or my wife, I don't lie to people about things, I have sent stuff to buyers on here without getting money first etc - basically I treat people the way I want them to treat me.

And so far (touch wood) I've had the same back

Gidney&Knowlesy

Buzz - never cheated on my girlfriend or wife?

So you have 1 of each do they know about each other?

Shaolin

Buzz, thats what i was like, and 2 some degree still am........then people take the jimmy riddle.
I know its like a self defence thing, your shat on, then you think hold on.....dont want this to happen again, and you change......but for me, the change wasnt for the better!... i think i judge people now far 2 quickly.

The Zohan

What a sad view to take. I try to treat all people equally and fairly. If they let me down, betray a trust or whatever than i know that i cannot trust them and tend to have nothing to do with them.

This atitude you have may well be down to being treated badly and is IMHO a knee-jerk reaction and one you will (hopefully) get over and move on. If not you could end up leading a sad lonely excistence. Tarring everyone with the same brush is easy to do but chances are you are the one who will loose out in the end

Perhaps you just go for the wrong type of person or hang in the wrong crowd.

Get over it and move on, learn by mistakes. There are plenty of decent people out there.

-=Buzz=-

Xtreme - I know you are jesting, but read what I put... At least quote me accurately

My wife does have her own SN account

Brendan Hughes

What Paul Said.

I had a great friend who was briefly a girlfriend. Lovely, thought I could marry her (she thought otherwise ).

In a couple of years her life just got hit. She had a skiing accident and destroyed her knee (and she was sport-mad), which umpteen operations didn't cure and in fact made worse. Her sister fell off a wall while drunk, broke her back and is paralysed for life. Few other things, probably men treating her crap, etc.

She went from a lovely person to utterly miserable and frankly nasty, including to me even though I tried to help. I saw it as an attitude "The world doesn't give a **** about me, so I'm not going to give a **** about the world." Eventually we had a screaming row and stormed out of each other's lives, not before I told her she'd changed from fun and happy to a miserable bitch who would pick fault with anything just for the hell of it.

3 years later we met up, and she was happier. She told me what I'd said had opened her eyes and she'd tried not to be so bad after that. Life and friends were better as a result.

Sorry to hear you feel crap at the mo, and it's perfectly acceptable for a few months, but please don't let the above happen to you.

Good luck mate

Brendan

Shaolin

Brendan......that sounds like me, this happened about 7 yrs ago!, i used to be so layed back and nothing bothered me, ive changed for the worse, and want to be how i used to be.
But how?

MarkO

It could be worse. I can't even trust my close family.

LG John

When you have a girlfriend that you love more than the world cheat on you its like having your heart ripped out of your a$$ and it changes your take on the whole world!!

It so happens that we split up over a year and half ago yet just this morning as I drove to work I was thinking about her and still got that sad feeling inside.

To love someone THAT much and have them shatter your trust and dreams in one night is near impossible to describe

Brendan Hughes

S - I dunno how she did it, you could ask her?

to add - Mum left my Dad after 25 yrs of happy marriage, there was the chance she'd come back. The marriage counsellor told Dad "you have two choices; she can come back because she thinks she needs to, or because she wants to. You decide how to behave in future in order to do that."
So, choose to be weak and desperate, or choose to be strong and independent/respectable.

I'm not talking about getting your GF back, but if you could adapt the above to your life and sociability generally, it might help.

BTW, she came back 4 yrs later, they are very happy together

[Edited by Brendan Hughes - 6/13/2003 1:38:49 PM]