Nigel H

Never really been a kid lover, but finally took the plunge at 36. There are times we regretted it, but I can't recommend the experience highly enough. I've had more fun in the last three years than the previous 10.

Your life will HAVE to change though. You have to do what the baby wants, or you all be unhappy. Trust me!

Being apprehensive is natural. It is a big change. My own personal view is that we're all cut out for it. You'll cope so don't worry.

WRT dosh. They don't have to cost THAT much to start with. You can spend what you want. You'll have to buy nappies, food, clothes, a bed/cot, car seat and a few other bits and pieces.

I think the major thing I found is that the stresses will at times test your relationship with your other half. We've survived, for the better IMHO. Others may find otherwise.

All the best though

Edited to say I've got a cot spare you can have if you want. Good nick, you'd just have to pick it from Essex

[Edited by Nigel H - 10/2/2002 8:20:45 AM]

scoobyboy

well my girlfriend told me today she is up the duff with our first kid. not quite sure of what i should be doing or feeling for that matter how did you lot react when you were told you were going to be a dad for the first time?
right now im panicking that we won't be able to afford it which aint helping the problem and i feel all up in the air if that makes any sense. thrilled as well of course but at the mo the panic is outweighing the thrillness.

Esoteric Beast

You aint said how old you are or your girlfriend or what job you have etc etc.

could make all the difference to the outcome.

Clarebabes

Can't tell you what it felt like to be a dad, but finding out I was pregnant for the first time I felt just the same as you. I had only just moved in with my boyfriend, left university and had this bombshell to drop!

She probably feels the same, so make sure you reassure her in every way.

Dave P

Great feeling.... you will never have enough money to afford children and they are a constant drain on your resources, but the totally unconditional love they give you (until they get to 8) is worth it.

Jolly Green Monster 2

I have number two on the way!

The first one was such a good experiance, except the 40hour labour and the surgeon delivering her (don't tell your girlfriend about that bit) that we have done it all over again..

Congratulations.. be happy and smile about it (you don't have much choice it is going to happen so be happy about it!, you wanted to have kids at some point I guess?)

JGM

Esoteric Beast

There not that bad, I have 4

Boy..17, girl..16, girl..13, boy..12

Still got the kids, divorced there mother,

Got a SCOOBY Life's not that Bad at all

P20SPD

iTrader: (1)

You could do like i did, i was married 2 months at the time...
Steven...Yes...i have been to the doctors and i am 2 months pregnant.......................................... .........
.................................................. .........
.................................................. .........
oh.............will you stop fiddling with your car and talk to me...............yes ok!!........did you hear me!!

Once it sunk in what she said i got out from underneath the car and was over the moon, which made her happy and therefore a happy pregnancy.

Congatulations JGM as well, you will have to get more power in that scoob, otherwise power to weight ratio will drop with the second one being in it

Thats my excuse and i am sticking to it.

Steven

Jolly Green Monster 2

Cheers P20SPD,

At the moment it means I shall have to ride the bike later into the year and get colder on the bike to save on petrol.. only joking

Not ideal as I am living away from home and therefore the family in the week.. but we said all along we wanted number two about now

I just heard the luvliest Scooby from outside the window! rather sureal..

Scoobyboy,

So is the situation ideal, like are you living together been together long? do you have her father to face yet or are the family happy?

JGM

P20SPD

iTrader: (1)

Shedload of different situations you could be in Scoobyboy, you must tell us the facts before we can advise.

Having said that he could be going through a bit of a trauma at the moment and therefore SN is not the 1st thing on ones mind.

Goodluck whatever situation you are in. Just remeber to agree with them

Alpine

My gf had come off the pill for quite a while before she fell pregnant. I still managed to be shocked when it happened.. DOH! She's now nearly 7 months and our lives revolve around her... but it's 100% worth it... Good luck to you both...

marty_t3

I'm in pretty much the same situation right now.... girlfriend is about to drop the 1st sprog in about 4 weeks. I wasn't sure what to do when i first found out that i was gonna be a dad but once i got me head round it things looked ok.

From the dozens of ppl who've given me advice over the last few months, not one of them has said they regret having kids. Everyone said it's the best thing thats ever happened to them. Now i can't wait....

Don't worry about it... just prepare for it and you'll be fine. There's billions of other ppl out there who've been in the same situation and can give you advice and i'm sure none of them regret having thier kids either.

Good luck... and just remember.... the subaru is still a practical family car.

scoobyboy

ok heres the low down i'm 27 earn between 21-24k a year work as a technician on scoobys she is 26 earns about 11k a year. we have been together about 6 yrs have a small 1 bedroom house so i have met her father and mother who are not together any more and we our selves are not married.
i'm getting used to the idea of a baby now and even been looking at prams!!!!!!!! of which i've decided that full suspension with a front brake is the only way to go thanks for advice everyone.

barge

congrats

My Wife is 8 months gone with her first so she is all worried.

Its a good feeling once the shock has died down

jbryant

TOH (Typing one-handed!)

I have a 5 week old son in my arms while I type this.

Be afraid. Be very afraid... Just kidding

I was certainly apprehensive, especially about money. But you should bear in mind that the only things they really need is food, nappies, somewhere warm to sleep and lots of cuddles. When the baby arrives, everything else is secondary. Best thing that will ever happen to you. It certainly is very hard work, but once that baby starts smiling at you you can forgive him any amount of sleepless nights. Some babies do sleep and it's probably not too bad. Just that ours doesn't!

One of my colleagues in Spain has told me this saying that is popular out there:
"When they're babies you want to eat them up.
When they're older, you wish you had!"

Bottom line is you'll never be 'ready' to have kids, but once they're there, you'll wonder what on earth you were up to beforehand!!!

All the best
Joolz

PS. While typing this he has fallen asleep in my arms and is snoring like a gorgeous little mini-me
PPS. Maternity clothes for sale Can't let her use them again LOL!

RaZe-=Buzz=-

its brill! Been to "toy shop" (Toys R Us) today - was chosen by our 2 year old son in preference to "feeding the guinea pigs" in the park.

Was totally unexpected, wife on the pill etc, then shes pregnant!!!!!!!!! 1 in 1000 chance, and am I glad! Never once regretted it.

Congrats, it'll be a lark! And dont worry about being able to "afford it", you'll just find you cope with it Im sure - everyone else I know has.

Buzz

scoobyangel

cant tell you about the dad bit... but when i found out i was pregnant (am now 24 weeks gone) BOTH me and my partner went into complete shock..... was never meant to happen, was on pill.. but hey ho.. it happened, just got used to idea and i started to bleed, we were convinced i was losing the baby having already suffered one miscarriage... chose to ignore everything for a week... then could resist no longer and did another test, then when it showed positive again, we decided that it happened cos it was meant to and that everything would work out in the end..

still didnt believe it until we heard heartbeat.. my partner got so excited and has stayed excited ever since... we were both nearly in tears when it came to the scan and we saw "giblet" for the 1st time...

believe me.. it gets better, at times u will be scared and will worry, and your g/f's mood swings may get you down.. but bear with it.. u will soon have the most precious thing ever.. a son or daughter!

i have just been directed to a site www.babyworld.com its great for mums to be, and dads for that matter.. get your girlie to have a look

most of all... good luck.. hope it all goes really well for you both

Mark Jackson

Ive got 3, all conceived in wedlock but only by the skin of out teet Honeymoon baby so didnt get chance to be maried without kids, mine are 6,5,3 and all boys, the house is constantly in a mess, im always shelling out on this and that, especially now they are getting older, babies are cute but largely a pain in the **** until six months and you then get a bit of feedback.

How you will cope depends on what kind of person you are, I used to be really selfish and lazy, I cant get away with it now and have to give up all my income to feed, clothe and provide a home, I earn pretty good money and dont see much (any) of it, my wife is at home so only one salary, having kids means bigger house, heating on all the time, bigger cars (people carrier on order)and spending about 500 quid a year on shoes for them !!!

Now they are getting older I can justify buying proper toys like PS2's, Gameboy Advances and remote controlled car which to be frank makes you look a bit of a dick if you are sprogless (except PS2 of course)

I had mine early (currently 31) so if I survive I intend to buy some mental motors in the next few years

RaZe-=Buzz=-

we got our scoob when our boy was 4 months old

Sensible family transport, you see? MUCH more sensible than a 5 door mondeo... :P

jbryant

P.S. Oh yeah - Don't mention the hormones

(Not if you know what's good for you!)

STi-Frenchie

Got a boy (9) a girl (5) and life has been a long hard haul since they were born. I wasn't ready for it, but how many ppl really are? Not that many I would think!

Kids? Nothing but fights between the kids, fights between the parents, money disappearing in great wads, hair falling out (mine), stress (ours), and sleepless nights (everyone). Shouting, screaming, neighbours complaining....

And it shall be known as the trail of the living...

WONDERFUL ! Let no-one tell you it is easy, it's not, no fecking way !!! Not by a long shot !!! It's gonna be a BITCH of a life for you...but, sooner or later it's gonna happen and your time is now, so get used to it!

The best advice I can give you is, "think ahead". Those nappy changes, the walking around at 3am in the morning trying to get the baby back to sleep when you are half dead...Hard, yep. But, think ahead to each stage, when your kid starts to talk, starts to communicate, is able to feed himself/herself...it gets a lot easier. Bit by bit...it takes years, but...it happens.

I'll tell you a story which happened just today...just to illustrate one of those pure gold moments and probably the best for me, so far. I talk French with my son and he
exchanges only a few (swear) words in English with me...we were at a Brit Car Meeting in Switzerland and we were wandering around - over 1200 cars to look at (Lotus, Rolls, Jags, Aston-Martin, and then all the classics...even a little Austin beauty from 1935 on show) plus the bikes - Bonnies of all sorts and shapes...a helluva show.

Anyway, not long after we'd arrived and had passed the line of 20+ rally'd up Mini Coopers, we were looking at a Lotus Super Seven when a woman walked past, looked at us and speaking in English, said to her husband/boyfriend "This must be heaven for a father and son, to be here together, with all these cars, can you imagine how beautiful that is?"

Although there are a lot of English speakers here, most people speak either French or German, I was tempted to say something but didn't -I was too busy jabbering with my son in French and didn't want to intrude on this woman's thoughts. Maybe they can't have kids, maybe they are trying for them....whatever, she really summed up what was going on between me and my son in so very few words.

It's a long hard road for *all* parents but all you can do is the best for them. Your kids will love you unconditionally. Make sure you show them you love them too.