Power of attorney
27 November 2017, 07:34 PM
#1
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Power of attorney
Does anyone have any experience with this?
What’s happened is my wife clean for and helps an old lady who’s daughter has turned into an absolute money grabbing cow......
She’s took early retirement along with her husband and have somehow made her mum pay them £1,000 per month into their bank, it was originally £500 but they got it upped to the £1,000.
The daughter has power of attorney along with the solicitor and it’s now beyond a joke, they haven’t allowed her a cheque book, my wife took he old lady into the bank numerous times for a cheque book and the books have all been sent to the solicitor, the bank notified Jean (the old lady) that £9,000 has been cashed via a cheque and it turns out it was solicitor fees. Jean has no recollection of this.
My question is if you appoint people as “power of attorney” but are still of sound mind are they only there to help you with your decisions or can they essentially go behind your back and make decisions themselves.
Also if she is deemed as “of sound mind” can she at any point remove them as power of attorney?
It’s got that bad that she sent an email to my wife asking her to keep all receipts for everything her mother buys in the shops, even a receipt from the mobile hairdresser.....I mean wtf?
She’s trying to control her mothers money and what she spends it on.
It’s ridiculous, I’m getting worked up over it, the daughter lives down in England somewhere, when she comes up for a visit with the husband she actually gets expenses from her mum. The last visit which was 4 days in total they got £800 from Jean for expenses. They charged her for the train up to Edinburgh, hire car and then train back. Un****ingbelievable. They need a good smack.
What’s happened is my wife clean for and helps an old lady who’s daughter has turned into an absolute money grabbing cow......
She’s took early retirement along with her husband and have somehow made her mum pay them £1,000 per month into their bank, it was originally £500 but they got it upped to the £1,000.
The daughter has power of attorney along with the solicitor and it’s now beyond a joke, they haven’t allowed her a cheque book, my wife took he old lady into the bank numerous times for a cheque book and the books have all been sent to the solicitor, the bank notified Jean (the old lady) that £9,000 has been cashed via a cheque and it turns out it was solicitor fees. Jean has no recollection of this.
My question is if you appoint people as “power of attorney” but are still of sound mind are they only there to help you with your decisions or can they essentially go behind your back and make decisions themselves.
Also if she is deemed as “of sound mind” can she at any point remove them as power of attorney?
It’s got that bad that she sent an email to my wife asking her to keep all receipts for everything her mother buys in the shops, even a receipt from the mobile hairdresser.....I mean wtf?
She’s trying to control her mothers money and what she spends it on.
It’s ridiculous, I’m getting worked up over it, the daughter lives down in England somewhere, when she comes up for a visit with the husband she actually gets expenses from her mum. The last visit which was 4 days in total they got £800 from Jean for expenses. They charged her for the train up to Edinburgh, hire car and then train back. Un****ingbelievable. They need a good smack.
27 November 2017, 07:51 PM
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This is a very sad story.I had power of attorney for my mum when she had dementia with my two sisters as signatories.Any money spent went directly to my mums care.I would contact someone about the solicitors fees (Law Society?) I did all the paperwork myself, have zero legal experience & found it very straight forward with the Power of Attorney people very helpful so I would like to know what the £9000 was for.
27 November 2017, 08:05 PM
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She’s loaded, and I think she was pressured into it by the daughter. She’s more than capable, a bit forgetful at times but with regards to her finances she’s very sound, she’s not reckless with it and in fact other than food, drink and household bills etc doesn’t really spend it on anything else.
The wife has told me that she wasn’t really happy about paying the £500 per month and subsequently the £1,000 but went with it because she wanted an “easy life”....
Ironically enough I was suppose to be putting the Evo in her double garage for winter storage but I’m not so sure I want to now, I can imagine when the daughter is up with her husband gets maybe do something. I asked Jean and she said “no problem” I said I’d pay her to cover storage and any electricity I used for charging the battery and she wasn’t having any of it. I’d still pay though, I had originally thought that the daughter can’t say anything as I’d be paying for it and the fact it’s her mums house and money but after todays shenanigans with the email to my wife I’m not so sure.
I genuinely believe she’s panicking and worried that we’re all wise to her and she’s panicking that it’ll go **** up for them.
27 November 2017, 09:00 PM
#5
It can be rescinded if the donor is still of sound mind. It can't be amended only cancelled - I'd caution your good lady or yourself about the perils of getting involved, families get bent out of shape where money and assets are involved.
There are two courses of action depending on whether it is registered or unregistered POA. The latter is a simple matter of using an accepted form of wording, and provide that to the attorneys and to the financial institutions where the attorney is empowered to act on behalf of the donor. I think the rescinding letter needs to be accompanied by the original POA paperwork.
For registered power of attorney which it sounds like this is), there is a different course of action, an application needs to be made to the Court of Protection - it costs a few hundred quid £500 I think, but the thing is the donor needs to evidence they are of sound mind, and the process takes about 6 months to complete. Probably best to engage some legal representation who can handle the whole job.
It is something which absolutely boils my **** - there is a lot more that needs to be done to safeguard the elderly, sad that it needs to be protection from their own families in some cases. I have held enduring POA for my dad when he had Alzheimer's. Simple enough process, but had some difficult decisions attached.
There are two courses of action depending on whether it is registered or unregistered POA. The latter is a simple matter of using an accepted form of wording, and provide that to the attorneys and to the financial institutions where the attorney is empowered to act on behalf of the donor. I think the rescinding letter needs to be accompanied by the original POA paperwork.
For registered power of attorney which it sounds like this is), there is a different course of action, an application needs to be made to the Court of Protection - it costs a few hundred quid £500 I think, but the thing is the donor needs to evidence they are of sound mind, and the process takes about 6 months to complete. Probably best to engage some legal representation who can handle the whole job.
It is something which absolutely boils my **** - there is a lot more that needs to be done to safeguard the elderly, sad that it needs to be protection from their own families in some cases. I have held enduring POA for my dad when he had Alzheimer's. Simple enough process, but had some difficult decisions attached.
Last edited by tarmac terror; 27 November 2017 at 09:12 PM.
28 November 2017, 06:07 AM
#6
I wouldn't get too involved if I were you as you'll only get yourself and Mrs labeled as "the money grabbing help" one aspect is... do you want or need the stress and the other is... can you afford to go head to head with the daughter and solicitor financially should they decide to go on the offensive.
If the old dear is truly of sound mind she should be able to handle the process herself... obviously with the aid of a lawyer as suggested above.
I personally try and avoid getting mixed up in other peoples Family and Love lives... as you only ever end up being the "bad guy."
If the old dear is truly of sound mind she should be able to handle the process herself... obviously with the aid of a lawyer as suggested above.
I personally try and avoid getting mixed up in other peoples Family and Love lives... as you only ever end up being the "bad guy."
Last edited by ditchmyster; 28 November 2017 at 06:08 AM.
28 November 2017, 08:04 AM
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To be fair I’m not involved, the wife is the one who works for the old lady, that’s her job. She feels like it’s her duty to look after her and not allow the daughter to take the absolute ****.
I’ve said to her to just walk away, she doesn’t need the money, she gets £40 per week from working for her. But she reckons if she backs out then that’ll be it for Jean, they’ll stick her in a home and then sell the house.
For example the wife would go to the doctors with Jean, and the daughter would always try and get the doctor to suggest that Jean go in a home, so the last appointment she had the wife went to collect her which was during the mentioned visit from the daughter above and the appointment had been cancelled and rescheduled to another day, a day that she knew my wife couldn’t manage. But she made it out that the doctors had rescheduled it which never happens, my wife phoned the doctors and they couldn’t say who it was that cancelled the appointment but confirmed it was not gemselves that rescheduled it.
My wife 100% believes the daughter did this so she couldn’t be there to back her mum up and as my wife always says “fight in her corner”.....
It’s scandalous that this cow can get away with this, the money has sweet **** all to do with her and what gives her the right to retire early and demand x amount per month from her mum. Ridiculous. Her dad died a few years back and if he was still alive this would definitely not be happening. She’s taking full advantage of the situation.
I’ve said to her to just walk away, she doesn’t need the money, she gets £40 per week from working for her. But she reckons if she backs out then that’ll be it for Jean, they’ll stick her in a home and then sell the house.
For example the wife would go to the doctors with Jean, and the daughter would always try and get the doctor to suggest that Jean go in a home, so the last appointment she had the wife went to collect her which was during the mentioned visit from the daughter above and the appointment had been cancelled and rescheduled to another day, a day that she knew my wife couldn’t manage. But she made it out that the doctors had rescheduled it which never happens, my wife phoned the doctors and they couldn’t say who it was that cancelled the appointment but confirmed it was not gemselves that rescheduled it.
My wife 100% believes the daughter did this so she couldn’t be there to back her mum up and as my wife always says “fight in her corner”.....
It’s scandalous that this cow can get away with this, the money has sweet **** all to do with her and what gives her the right to retire early and demand x amount per month from her mum. Ridiculous. Her dad died a few years back and if he was still alive this would definitely not be happening. She’s taking full advantage of the situation.
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28 November 2017, 08:40 AM
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https://www.gov.uk/report-concern-about-attorney-deputy
The shiz will hit the fan in a big way if reported. Potentially jail terms, so tread carefully.
I suppose the softer approach would be to report them to HMRC for undeclared earnings.
The shiz will hit the fan in a big way if reported. Potentially jail terms, so tread carefully.
I suppose the softer approach would be to report them to HMRC for undeclared earnings.
Last edited by BlkKnight; 28 November 2017 at 08:44 AM.
28 November 2017, 08:51 AM
#9
At the end of the day, it's HER mum and HER inheritance... sorry to say it but it's none of your wife's business how they handle the finances... as long as they're not abusing the old dear... everything else is just a matter of opinion.
My dads family weren't happy about the way we arranged his funeral... no priest or big 3 day p!55 up for 200 strangers and not buried in a cemetery... and I was accused of doing it on the cheap... which is true... he wasn't religious and thought the undertakers were rip off merchants... his words "when your dead, your dead"
We organised it together and he's buried in Sherwood Forest... yet by the end of the Funeral they were all saying what a nice place it is to be buried, no after party either... what little money he had is in his grandsons building society account, not p!55ed up by a load of random people he hasn't seen for 30/40yrs... not even 10 people came to see him before he died and he was dying for 18 months.... it's all just a matter of opinion.
She's a bit daft trying to put her in a home if she's not really ill because that's going to suck more money than a crack ***** does d!ck... like £800 to 1000 a week and that's not a really posh place... I've just watched around £350k get sucked up that way over the last few years on my wifes side... 2x average funerals and couple of years in nursing homes each, so farming the old dear out will be an expensive affair, especially if she's not really sick.
Let em get on with it... Karma has a way of sorting these things out.
My dads family weren't happy about the way we arranged his funeral... no priest or big 3 day p!55 up for 200 strangers and not buried in a cemetery... and I was accused of doing it on the cheap... which is true... he wasn't religious and thought the undertakers were rip off merchants... his words "when your dead, your dead"
We organised it together and he's buried in Sherwood Forest... yet by the end of the Funeral they were all saying what a nice place it is to be buried, no after party either... what little money he had is in his grandsons building society account, not p!55ed up by a load of random people he hasn't seen for 30/40yrs... not even 10 people came to see him before he died and he was dying for 18 months.... it's all just a matter of opinion.
She's a bit daft trying to put her in a home if she's not really ill because that's going to suck more money than a crack ***** does d!ck... like £800 to 1000 a week and that's not a really posh place... I've just watched around £350k get sucked up that way over the last few years on my wifes side... 2x average funerals and couple of years in nursing homes each, so farming the old dear out will be an expensive affair, especially if she's not really sick.
Let em get on with it... Karma has a way of sorting these things out.
Last edited by ditchmyster; 28 November 2017 at 08:58 AM.
28 November 2017, 09:07 AM
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I'm sorry but I have to disagree, just because it's her mother it does NOT entitle her to her money whilst she's still alive, it's her inheritance but not until she has sadly left us. My wife has her best interests at heart and she can see what it's doing to her and when Jean says that she's not happy with paying that money then she feels as if she's being pressured into it, which she clearly is.
So you think it's perfectly ok for them to retire early and expect their own mother to fund them? C'mon......
Fact is they're taking the pics and their nose is out of joint because people are wise to it, now they feel threatened and are clearly worried that their cushty little setup might get ruined.
P.s. The reason behind the home is so they can sell the house, it's worth a fair few £'s
So you think it's perfectly ok for them to retire early and expect their own mother to fund them? C'mon......
Fact is they're taking the pics and their nose is out of joint because people are wise to it, now they feel threatened and are clearly worried that their cushty little setup might get ruined.
P.s. The reason behind the home is so they can sell the house, it's worth a fair few £'s
Last edited by Wull; 28 November 2017 at 09:09 AM.
28 November 2017, 09:23 AM
#12
They won't get access to the funds from the sale of the house while she's alive in a nursing home... because if she has money the government won't fund her stay... and they'll become liable for any fees due until she dies.
I've had some of this with my mum, not for large sums of money I might add, but she spent what little she had ish £30k on holidays and put some in ISAS for a small income to run alongside her pension... then got a flat in a warden aided community to basically stop the taxman / government getting their grubby little hands on it and then denying her the services she paid her whole life to receive, because if you're not already in the system then it can be VERY difficult to get the services from the government.
She knows this because she's been a nurse for 40 odd years with her last few years spent running a nursing home, so she's all too aware of what happens in these scenarios.
The smart ones spend the cash and indeed my wifes side spent a fair few quid and dolled it out amongst the grandkids before they died.
Point the old dear in the direction of a lawyer or CAB and leave her to it.
I've had some of this with my mum, not for large sums of money I might add, but she spent what little she had ish £30k on holidays and put some in ISAS for a small income to run alongside her pension... then got a flat in a warden aided community to basically stop the taxman / government getting their grubby little hands on it and then denying her the services she paid her whole life to receive, because if you're not already in the system then it can be VERY difficult to get the services from the government.
She knows this because she's been a nurse for 40 odd years with her last few years spent running a nursing home, so she's all too aware of what happens in these scenarios.
The smart ones spend the cash and indeed my wifes side spent a fair few quid and dolled it out amongst the grandkids before they died.
Point the old dear in the direction of a lawyer or CAB and leave her to it.
28 November 2017, 09:31 AM
#13
To you it may look like they're ripping her off... but it's just good advice from a clued up lawyer... which the old dear probably agreed to in the beginning... hence the power of attorney... and now she's a "bit forgetful" your words... it's looking from the outside / less well versed in such matters like their having her pants down... when it's not... it's just sound financial management.
The government has enough money... without stealing more off people that have worked their whole lives to leave something for their family being cheated out of it at the end of their life.
The government has enough money... without stealing more off people that have worked their whole lives to leave something for their family being cheated out of it at the end of their life.
28 November 2017, 06:58 PM
#16
In light of her potential money-based predicament...
From 3:20: https://youtu.be/Lzt82V-xtfA
SWIDT
Love that scene... So any excuse, eh.
Just spreading the joy.
From 3:20: https://youtu.be/Lzt82V-xtfA
SWIDT
Love that scene... So any excuse, eh.
Just spreading the joy.
Last edited by joz8968; 28 November 2017 at 07:00 PM.