JTaylor

I'm training myself to stop getting worked-up about the state of the world. I've learnt to forgive people who've wronged me. I'm learning to trust people. I enjoy simple things and I give thanks that I'm alive to be able to enjoy them. Deal with your own sphere of influence. Accept the things you cannot change. Relax, everything's ok.

stilover

Sounds like you've just had a w**k

bustaMOVEs

iTrader: (31)

Good on you.

JTaylor

How cultivated.

JTaylor

Cheers, Busta!

stilover

You also need to train on how to get a sense of humour.

If you're easily offended, then maybe Mumsnet may suit your delicate forum needs

JTaylor

That's the spirit!

Turbohot

Well, when the real 'spirit' is lacking in life for the time being, it's good to see other stuff as their substitute.

Fact is, everything isn't ok around us. That's the reality. But yes, there's no point beating yourself about it. That's not going to achieve anything in reality.

JTaylor

In my little world everything is ok, though. One of the side effects of globalisation, the internet, mass media and its 24hr news is that we think and feel we're perpetually on the edge of doom, gloom and some kind of apocalypse. Well most of us aren't. Fact is most of us have an income, rights, food on our table, health, security and shelter. In this country we aren't threatened by natural disasters or war or disease.

I have a partner and friends and faith and a home and frankly an abundance of riches. As I say in my first post, we are to tend to our own garden and consider our own neighbours, friends and family. Ignore adverts. Ignore the news. Give thanks and enjoy your life.

Turbohot

Yes, most of us can say that; about our little worlds.

I don't think we all do. Some are more concerned with what's happening around us, and some are less concerned. Some are simply "As long as I'm alright Jack" and some are irrational worriers.

very good way to cure your own anxiety about the world.

Not sure if I agree with the bolded bit. We need not ignore but we can know our limitations, what we have (as you say) and try to have some sleep at night. If too worried, get proactive and save the world. There are people like that who certainly do that. No point worrying too much for the things that are out of our control. But I do think that we need to be informed; even to realise how lucky we are- in comparison.

About saving the world, one should know one's limitations and save what he/she can. You can't save all the world, and that's the reality.

bustaMOVEs

iTrader: (31)

The world is a wierd place and things go on, you can't change, so concentrate on own family lives and forget about everything else, as long as you're happy, that's all that counts.

Turbohot

I met a guy in Cambodia whose one leg was blown up in a land mine explosion. He was in the know that he only had one leg, but he was happy that he, at least, had one leg left. He skipped around all over the place with the support of a tatty crutch. There were others with all their limbs blown up and even blown dead, who obviously were absent. The living limbless ones were aware that they had no limbs. but they were happy because they were still alive.

Either one chooses to dwell on the negatives or on the positives; with and around. This choice is a personal thing. It's made by one's very 'within'. Balance can be struck, I believe. Shutting our eyes to the stark realities around us in the world is wanting to live in a denial. Realities should be faced and realised IMO. This, by all means, includes facing up to the negativities around us as well as realising the value of what we have; may it be suffering or happiness. What you own is yours. It's your wealth.

bustaMOVEs

iTrader: (31)

As JT says 'accept the things you can't change'.

Turbohot

Yes, he does, which is good. But he also suggests to ignore the news, which I don't agree with.

Then again, if JT has a tendency to ruminate over global troubles, then I can see why he'd make such suggestion. In fact, he actually makes this suggestion to himself. Good for him. He has to have a way to deal with his tendency of getting worked up about the problems in the world.

ALi-B

iTrader: (1)

I don't know.

What I do know is it's good to take a step back from things.

Ignoring the news is one of them; The problem is our news is sensationalised in aim to gain more readership. And the fact is doom and gloom sells. So we read the news and all we see is bad stuff with maybe the odd comical anecdote and celebrity bitching. Then it's repeated on social media, and then in general conversation. I find it unhealthy for personal morale.

For example my mum brings up a typical Daily Mail topic (bollox) and I have to rudely stop her before she finishes. Because what good does airing a biased unfavourable sensationslist story do? Breed further annoyance and anger at an issue that you can do absolutely nothing about.

Unless you develop the skill to filter out the bull from average news report, which is not always easy, it's best just not to read it at all. Or take it in small doses with a large amount scepticism.

Focusing on things within your own realm which you have the power to change or control should take the priority to dwelling and getting frustrated on the things that we can do little or nothing about.

ScoobyDoo555

This is all a bit deep for Scoobynet

Torquemada

Serenity Prayer

johned

i will continue to be a misanthrope.

lozgti1

The internet and facebook.

No one believes in God any more or goes out.

World has gone nuts.We debate 'i phones and pokemon go' and laugh at a good life.

Know how you feel James

hodgy0_2

It is a difficult one JT

On the one hand you have the accusation that you have “settled for less” you have “given up” – are unambitious yada yada

Against the feeling that – “you know what I have everything (that truly matters) and more than I could possibly want”

One thing you learn as you get older is that “wanting more” is an approach to life that never leaves you satisfied, as there IS always “more” and always someone with “more” than you

I came to the realisation about 20 years ago that I was not going to the next Richard Branson / James Dyson / mark Zuckerberg

So I ““settled for less” as it where – I get pretty well paid for what I do, (compared to 99% of the UK population) and have realised that I have engineered my life around what truly matters to me, which is my family – and I never have to worry about the post in the morning

I could strive to want more and climb the greasy pole – work longer hours, travel abroad – but I just don’t have the heart/need or longing for it – the desire to make the sacrifice

And crucially I don’t define myself by what I have or what I own

To me I have the most incredible life and standard of living – and never take it for granted

JTaylor

Great post. Sehnsucht.

JTaylor

It's in the interests of a few, Loz.

ditchmyster

iTrader: (7)

+1

I wouldn't call it giving up or selling yourself short though, for me it's more of an awakening, nirvana / inner peace.

Also agree with the sentiment of not worrying about things you can't change.

ALi-B

iTrader: (1)

It's partly the attack of the mid-life. Hit the early twenties and suddenly the view of the world and what you wanted in life is tarnished.

A lot of people have been brought up to follow their dreams, and persue greatness. The problem there isn't space for everyone, only a few lucky ones actually succeed leaving the rest to become embittered in defeat for falling short of their life goals. Unless we realise that and accept it; Its not about giving up, it's about realigning your goals to what is achievable.

Been there, done that: The wake up call for me was seeing an acquaintance of mine (I won't call him a friend as it was a one sided relationship); His ambition was to be a photographer. Problem is it's already a massively over subscribed vocation and he wasn't really that good. Couple this with a diva attitude that the world owed him something led him down a path that has seen him turn into a metal wreck and a write-off to society. He is stubborn minded and no one can get through to him. He doesn't work, stays in bed until lunchtime, lives on coca-cola and chocolate, is addicted to pain killers and moans that his benefits are being cut because there is nothing physically wrong with him; That longest he's ever held s job down for is just under two years and that was before he lost the plot. It's a tragic story that brings him down and his parents. Unless he gets some magic epiphany he won't change, I dread to say it but he'll probably end up comitting suicide. I've tried to be the Samaritan but in trying, it tested my own sanity to point it affected my own mental health; I'm not not a therapist.

I consider my self lucky in that I realised I was going down the same path, but the difference was I did something about it. Sure I've probably sold myself massively short in terms of employment and income but my sanity remains far better for it. The only regret I have losing the best part five years of my life before realising it. There is no magic trick to it, just a level of self awareness in the world. Its easy to get deluded in one way or the other and a lot of the time its benign, but sometimes we get so caught up in either ourselves or the world around us that we lose focus of what is realistically achievable.

ditchmyster

iTrader: (7)

I was never really brought up like that though, and never really had a clear idea of something specific that I wanted to do, well not strictly true as I did want to be a mechanic for a while, which was my dads idea because I liked cars \ bikes, his thinking was that it's a good trade and i'd always get a job, I went along with it for a while but a cousin who'd been a mechanic for 20yrs or so put me off and said it was a sh1tty job and I should go for auto electrician, better pay and not covered in oil and crap all day, which is how I ended up doing stereo's and alarms etc, it was the break that came my way and turned out pretty good too, over the years it's served me reasonably well, always made decent money for a council estate kid with not very much in the way of qualifications and always had a decent company car.

Me too, he was one of my best men (I had 2 best men at my wedding) he has a brilliant mind (microsoft MCSE inside 18 months of first touching a computer) but he's a raging alcoholic, mostly because he's too intelligent and his head imploded, is the best way to describe it.

Again I was just always happy to have a job, so no real selling myself short, if something better came my way, I jumped ship and went with it, but never really had a career path that I wanted to take, my path was something that would pay me enough money to get by, beer, ****, petrol, rent which all lead to getting some pune tang.

Wasn't till I hit 30 that I realised I better do something for myself because no one was going to recognise my brilliance and pay me £100k+ for doing **** all, and I'd be a broke *** ni99er in a council flat on a state pension if I didn't get off my **** and do something for myself.

So I started my own business, but didn't really like that as it relied on other people and most people are ***** or idiots, which is how I got into houses because I only need to rely on myself.

I'll never be Richard Branson, but I never wanted to be, other wise I would be, but I have seen what it takes to get there and what happens along the way as well as when they do get there, and I was never prepared to do that to myself or my family for the sake of money, which is something I have never really been that interested in beyond having enough to get by, also the risk involved was too great for my liking, I did better than I imagined and decided it was better to stick on 19 than go for 21 and bust.

It's a matter of perspective, perceived wealth and well being, the latter being most important to me, as Robbie Williams said when he got his 70 mil Sony contract " I'm rich beyond my wildest dreams" for me it's about where I wake up most mornings and what I do, more so than my bank balance.

Who could of imagined I'd buy a stone farm house in the middle of the the Istrian mountain region in Croatia having come from a council estate in Nottingham. Mental.

Oh and drive a 1.6 td Golf MK1.

Made it baby.