One for the ESC boys....No ladeez allowed...
18 May 2005, 11:36 PM
#1
Scooby Regular
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: I've joined the Focus family
Posts: 7,623
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
One for the ESC boys....No ladeez allowed...
WOMEN'S ENGLISH
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want...
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = I need to complain
7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to
8. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron
10. Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead
11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
13. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive
14. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
15. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
16. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
MEN'S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question
8. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
12. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you
13. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 3 minutes
14. Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you
15. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want...
5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = I need to complain
7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to
8. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron
10. Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead
11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
13. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive
14. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
15. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
16. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
MEN'S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question
8. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
12. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you
13. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 3 minutes
14. Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you
15. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
= your credit card is mine!
Trending Topics
19 May 2005, 12:23 PM
#8
In the world of romance, one single rule applies:
Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you
get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she
expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow(0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain
(+8) But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing(0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
buddy(-2)
Named Tina (-4)
Tina is a dancer (-6)
Tina has silicon implants (-80)
HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night(-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and
your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)
A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it(+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)
ENJOY THE BIG QUESTION
Sh! e asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you lose points no matter what]
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what
looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)
Now what chance do you have???
Let see what you lot all score
Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you
get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she
expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow(0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain
(+8) But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing(0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
buddy(-2)
Named Tina (-4)
Tina is a dancer (-6)
Tina has silicon implants (-80)
HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night(-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and
your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)
A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it(+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)
ENJOY THE BIG QUESTION
Sh! e asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you lose points no matter what]
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what
looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)
Now what chance do you have???
Let see what you lot all score
19 May 2005, 01:43 PM
#12
Scooby Regular
At least Baz has the right idea, points Mmmm good one.
But now they know the codes girls.
but well, they still have no chance when it comes to understanding us girlies. pmsl. we're so complex for them. they will have to keep Baz's list one them all the time. these men can only think of one thing at a time and as Ed has put, that is of course
SEX. lol
Love to all Gertiexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
But now they know the codes girls.
but well, they still have no chance when it comes to understanding us girlies. pmsl. we're so complex for them. they will have to keep Baz's list one them all the time. these men can only think of one thing at a time and as Ed has put, that is of course
SEX. lol
Love to all Gertiexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
19 May 2005, 04:09 PM
#17
Scooby Regular
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: book price for my SCOOB = £1115
Posts: 11,645
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally Posted by the better half
In the world of romance, one single rule applies:
Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you
get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she
expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow(0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain
(+8) But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing(0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
buddy(-2)
Named Tina (-4)
Tina is a dancer (-6)
Tina has silicon implants (-80)
HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night(-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and
your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)
A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it(+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)
ENJOY THE BIG QUESTION
Sh! e asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you lose points no matter what]
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what
looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)
Now what chance do you have???
Let see what you lot all score
Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you
get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she
expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow(0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain
(+8) But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing(0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
buddy(-2)
Named Tina (-4)
Tina is a dancer (-6)
Tina has silicon implants (-80)
HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night(-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and
your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)
A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it(+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)
ENJOY THE BIG QUESTION
Sh! e asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you lose points no matter what]
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what
looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)
Now what chance do you have???
Let see what you lot all score
I just thought if you got it you are LUCKY!!!!!
but then looking like me you have to have some luck!!! (before any1 says it)
19 May 2005, 05:05 PM
#18
Scooby Regular
Originally Posted by the better half
In the world of romance, one single rule applies:
Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you
get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she
expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow(0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain
(+8) But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing(0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
buddy(-2)
Named Tina (-4)
Tina is a dancer (-6)
Tina has silicon implants (-80)
HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night(-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and
your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)
A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it(+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)
ENJOY THE BIG QUESTION
Sh! e asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you lose points no matter what]
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what
looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)
Now what chance do you have???
Let see what you lot all score
Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you
get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she
expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow(0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain
(+8) But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing(0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college
buddy(-2)
Named Tina (-4)
Tina is a dancer (-6)
Tina has silicon implants (-80)
HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night(-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and
your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)
A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it(+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)
ENJOY THE BIG QUESTION
Sh! e asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you lose points no matter what]
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what
looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)
Now what chance do you have???
Let see what you lot all score
I See this , Thread early this morning , Just knew that Deb would have to post
Note to my wife !!
Get your own bleedin user name !!
Love you Darling
xx Tiny...
19 May 2005, 05:10 PM
#19
This thread is great.
What happened to the points guys?
As for the first post, I didn't realise that so many questions from men meant they wanted sex. I am so naive...lol
What happened to the points guys?
As for the first post, I didn't realise that so many questions from men meant they wanted sex. I am so naive...lol
19 May 2005, 06:46 PM
#21
Scooby Regular
Join Date: May 2002
Location: essex
Posts: 1,857
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
YOU GUYS HAVE OPENED A DOOR TO A PLACE THAT IM SURE YOUR GOING TO REGRET !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
watch your backs
WITH MORE OTHER HALF'S ON S/N YOUR GOING TO GET SUCH A *** WOOOOOPING
I WILL SIT BACK SAY NOTHING AND ENJOY
LOL...........
watch your backs WITH MORE OTHER HALF'S ON S/N YOUR GOING TO GET SUCH A *** WOOOOOPING
I WILL SIT BACK SAY NOTHING AND ENJOY
LOL...........
Last edited by rhybeck; 19 May 2005 at 06:48 PM.
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
Dave25
ScoobyNet General
6
23 January 2001 10:33 AM