What? You were that close to giving yourself a blow job?


Do you swallow?

 

 

One of my favourite simple pleasures in life is eggs beat up in a cup with a bit of buttler loads of salt, toasted soldiers and a nice cup of sugary tea.

Only have it now and again as it reminds me of being young and don't wanna dilute the experience.

 

Going for a pint with a pretty girl

 

Until she orders a pint and you know your in for a wild night.

 

Especially if it's a pint of vodka

 

Nat. International Playboy............ Retired


Sniff sniff....I.......sniff..... I smell something in the air.... sniff sniff...... it..... sniff.... smells like Bullsh1t....... sniff.



The only pretty girls t1ts you've ever had hold of, is when your holding a copy of the Suns page 3 open.

 

Sat in my truck last week with my wife, 4 year old son, and Sixteen year old niece/or baby sitter as she is known.

Sliding door open, windowns down, parked side on to the sea at Fistral Beach, sun setting, waves crashing, eating Fish and Chips from Truscotts out of the paper, so much vinigar that it takes your breath away.

Listening to the music from the Aquarious shopping complex on the hill, and watching the surfers in the waves, and returning to their vans.....everyone happy.

Simple but not exactly cheap......£6.50 for a day carpark pass, and £6.00 each for fish and chips, but worth every penny.

I wish it wasnt so far away......660 miles round trip is too far to re-live the moment tonight, but there was a time when I would.

I will try and add a photo to explain the mood.

I have travelled to Newquay after several pints in a pub with a few mates one being diabetic and non-drinking, no plans just ale talk, then someone said **** it lets go, we just finished our drinks and went. We slept two nights in the van and spent the two days mooching on the beach, and drinking in the bars/clubs...no change of clothes no towel, no nothin, just bought a pair of shorts and flip-flops and I was done.....excellent.

Now then how to post a picture on a sh1tty 02 dial up......Ill be back.



This was after the chippy tea, and took 14 mins to download on my superdooper 02 bag of sh1te...

Yoza

 

Simple is best .

Sunny afternoon ,in back garden with a plentiful supply of "Becks" ,ice cold .!!
Lounging about ,playing Cricket ,Football with the kids and then lying on a lounger ,next to the wife .!!! Have couple of good friends round for a chat and a laugh .Bit of "Smooth" Radio on .

Eat outside ,bbq or something .

Then obviously a good "Sh4g " afterwards to round off the day .(with the wife of course ).

Nothing more ,nothing less .!!!

Thats all I need .

 

Going back to the Isle of Wight where I grew up and having proper fish and chips on Gurnard front sat in the car watching the goings on in the busiest stretch of water in the world.

 

Good one..only thing is if the GF/**** buddy wants a beef dinner too and then the ****.She will be having two servings of Beef hmmmm might give that ago myself.

 

Yes If your taking a break from such an awesomely awesome lifestyle of birds and partying to stroke jewellery, do some jogging and help your old neighbour with her shopping, I think we'd all like to see where we are going wrong.

Ta

 

He's done a lot worse and not apologised

Remember the "fat bird" and the old skool Fords thread

 

now THAT was funny!

 

A cup of tea, the autotrader, the bog and the missus at work so she can't moan

Lying in the garden on a sunny day listening to the lawnmowers going, and the planes flying overhead.

 

I admit I am a secret gardener !

Love pottering about in the evening when its nice and cool, mowing the lawn, seeing stuff from last year you though had died coming back and flowering etc...

Last project was putting up a big ( 6 x 6 ) trellis and planting clemaitis and actinidia to climb up it, and an arbour seat for the roses to grow over.

Next week will be spent removing old shed and patio and making a new pergola / seating area for the corner of the garden.

 

:yawn:

 

No, don't. Post the pictures, otherwise we'll all just think you're a bullsh*tting w@nker too!

 

Nat, how shall I put this?

F*ck off you prize c*nt!

 

Um, no. You got a link?

 

Getting up early on a sunny sunday morning in the summer (with no hangover) and getting a good breakfast before heading out to the yard to give the car a good wash with the dog

Cup of tea and a chunky kit-kat whilst reading the autotrader

Sitting in on a winter's night with a crate of ice cold coors lite and the wood-burning stove going flat out

 

I think its a bit cruel washing a car with a dog.....but I suppose its your dog.

 

So long as there's no grit in its paws, it should be ok.

 

Shhh..

 

Yes. And don't be just pulling images off the internet showing lot's of people partying and then claim this is you before you retired from being a Playboy.

W*nker

 

Fixing something for someone and seeing their appreciation.
+1 for lurpack on toast with a nice strong coffee
+1 for a wintery walk
nice hot shower with music on full blast (undisturbed)
taking the pi55 out of work mates (friendly banter)

not too much to ask for....


oh forgot to say an ice cold glass bottle of coke on a summers day

 

Oh yes. I always say to the mrs that if I won the lotto Id have me one of those old retro US glass bottle vending machines in the lounge mmmmm.

Not sure on the Lurpak though - more an Anchor man myself

Simon

 

anchor is a bitch to spread - even the spreadable one....