MattOz

Got pulled on the M45 in my first 330d about 4 years ago. Unmarked T5 apparently with nothing better to do. WPC gets into my car and takes my details etc. Proceeds to book me at 94mph but claims I was going faster. I ask for proof and she says that I can't see video unless I go to court. Sounded like a load of ****e to me.

After some banter about revenue generation, she then asks what kind of BMW it is and I say "330 diesel". She replies with "Goes well for a diesel doesn't it"........................

Matt

Funkii Munkii

Some time back when I was 16 and waiting for a bus home from the pub a police van pulled up and a special jumped out and uttered.....

"I saw you pissing through the Bakery letterbox"

PMSL which wound him up even more, anyway missed my bus and had to walk home, and ended up having to **** behind an Oak tree half way home, B*stard!

Edited because it doesn't like B*stard but its happy with PISSING

lawson101

Few years ago I was standing at end of my parents road waiting for a lift to work, it was about 730am and loads of cop cars were flying up and down the nearby streets, obviously looking for someone/thing.
After a few dodgy looks from passing cops a car pulls up and the window goes down.

Copper - What are you doing?
me - Waiting for a lift
copper - where do you live
me - the second house on that road over there, number 41

Cops fly off down the road to check, after a few seconds I hear the handbrake turn being done and the cops come flying back again.
Car pulls up and the cops jump out grabbing their truncheons.

copper - you were lying to us son!!
At this point im backing off (previous bad experiences with over zealous officers) saying to them......
- No the other end of the street officer!!

The look on their faces when they realised was quality!!

scoobyPAT

PMSL @ Hanley

Wonder who that was?

BuRR

"If it was down to me, I disband the whole f***ing department and get them catching real criminals" ......

my DI talking about police officers running the scamera vans etc.

*respect*

Hanley

Yeah ScoobyPAT I wonder

Going to the micklehead green meet next Thursday, you should bring your motor

ProperCharlie

I don't know about "best", but most surprising was after I had been knocked off my pushbike by some bloke in a BMW (who happened to be black), a couple of coppers came to the hospital to ask me about my injuries, and one of them left with the parting remark "don't worry, we'll get the f*ckin c**n!"

Mind you, that was about 15 years ago, in the "good old days" before PC had got started.

J4CKO

iTrader: (1)

I was driving a 750 Polo some years ago, had been out for a meal and was going quite quickly considering, earlier on a Police van turned in front of the resturaunt and clobbered a brand new Audi, trim everywhere, coppers exchange details, following a lot of cheering from drunken passers by, anyway, I got pulled by the same van and he claimed I was doing 85 mph (in a 60) and still accelerating (850 Polo, top speed slightly over walking pace), copper was spoiling for some aggro and a right ****, I said you can you can nick me if you want but I would save the extra paperwork time for filling in the accident report for that Audi you just tried to drive over earlier (pointed at obvious damage to Transit), his colleague started laughing and I got a producer
for my cheek.

scoooby nut

my dad went out one day and brought a bran new scooby he took it up the road and loved it and didnt stop driving it,he started to "give it some"on a dual track 70,80,90,100 then a unmarked police car came down the slip road and started to chase him.the police car was on his bumper in no time.thinkin the police sould have no chance in catching him he took it off the dual track and speeded of down a lane he new very well at hight speed,after about 20mins of tryin to lose this copper he gave up and pulled over,the copper told him to turn the engine off and get out the car so he did this.the copper walked over to him and said"there is 5 mins left to my shift i have to go home get ready for my wifes suprise birthday party and i could do with out the papper work if u give me a good excuse ill let u go"my dad looked at him and said"my wife ran off with a copper last week and i thought u where bringing her back"the copper said"have a nice day sir"

not true but it made me smile

brybusa

Back in 1991 the police had just started to use Pan Europeans as fuzz bikes, there was an article in Performance Bikes mag saying that the first reader to get nicked by one gets a free T shirt..

A short time after whazzed thru an Amber light ,I then notice said fuzz bike to my offside, I pulled up at the next set of lights and the copper says to me "Are you after a free Performance Bikes T shirt?"

No nicking though....

Last year in Bedford on our favourite surfing roundabout a traffic car came past and advsied us "To keep trying" over the tannoy system in the car.......

SiPie

Don't move or I'll blow your f*****g head off

Those were the days

paulwrxboro

"Anybody move and il exacute every m*ther****ing last one of you"
If i was a cop that be my line

SiPie

Class

MJW

Hehe I remember them well !

[edit] woops I already posted this story on Pg. 3 of this thread, didn't realise it was so old (post 43)

gpssti4

iTrader: (6)

When I was 18 (poor student so no car) I used to cycle everywhere. One evening I was cycling home with a mate (who was 17) and stopped at the bottom of a large hill for a can of beer. We happened to stop at a petrol station to use the toilet and get some fuel (Mars bars I think!). We were sitting round the back of the petrol station laughing and joking when a cop car pulls up, the copper get out, gives us a 'look' and dissapears inside the petrol station. My mate being under age gets on his bike and legs it. Moments later the cop comes out and lanuches into me. Name, address etc. I ask what I've been doing wrong, to which he replys, the woman in the petrol station thought that you were going to rob the place. I say on '******* bicycles?'. I got a verbal warning from a red faced copper who then dissapears as fast as my mate had done.

Danbo

you would be surprised how many robbers DO use bicycles! Not as stupid as it might sound.