IMO not having any children is neither sad, nor her self-imposed exclusion that your call a self-imposed exile. If you look at it from your sister's perspective, her choice for not having any children and self-imposed exclusion may be her very own personal, and most importantly, a safe and loving space, where she has a room and acceptance for her own existence. The very thing she lacked from her parents- as an unplanned child. What she's doing is planned, it makes her feel 'in control', safe and much happier. She's missing out on nothing because she chooses to miss out and prefers to embrace her being as she wants.

That's why, I don't think that anyone without children is less happier and less fortunate than the ones with kids. Well, excluding the ones who want kids but can't have them. IMO if everything fails, they should adopt a child or a few children, gain the satisfaction of having a family and give love and warm home to them. It has to be a genuine and well-thought effort, though.

 

peoples choice to not want marriage / kids etc is obviously very personal to them

and probably comes from many different factors - and I would not presume to judge

for obvious reasons I don't actually meet many tbh -

in the case of my sister - unfortunately it is sad, it is entirely the product of how she was treated as a child / teenager and young adult

and I don't speak to her that much anymore despite being quite close growing up - but she carries a sadness to this day and simply won't let some things go

 

It makes me sad, too; to know that she was treated differently to the rest of you, and for the sadness that she carries inside her- due to her being treated differently as a child, hodgy.