pslewis

Newcastle manager Bobby Robson sends scouts out round the worldlooking for a new striker to replace Alan shearer and hopefully to help Newcastle win the title.

One of his scouts informs him of a great young Iraqi striker who he believes will turn out to be a true superstar. So Bobby flies to Iraq to watch him and is suitably impressed and arranges for his transfer to St James Park.

Two weeks later Newcastle are 4-0 down at home to the BORO with only 20 minutes left. Robson, desperate, gives the young Iraqi striker his chance and substitutes Alan shearer.

The lad is an immediate sensation, scores 5 in 20 minutes and wins the game for Newcastle. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star.

When he comes off the pitch he phones his Mum to tell her about his first day in English football.

"Hi Mum, guess what?" he says. "I only played for 20 minutes today, but we were 4-0 down and I scored 5 and we won !. Everybody loves me, the fans, the players and the media, they all love me".

"Great," says his Mum, "Let me tell you about my day. Your father has got shot in the street, your sister and I were attacked and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters, all while you were having a great time".

The young lad is clearly very upset. "What can I say Mum, but I'm so sorry"

"So Sorry!" says his Mum,

"Its your bloody fault that we moved to Newcastle in the first place!"

Pete

Toonman1

Pete

Check out this link - same joke's on there, but it's Middlesbrough... It's on the Boro Jokes Page!

http://www.the-scum.freeserve.co.uk/page4_bor.htm

As usual Pete, you're behind with the times...

Cheers

Toonman1

Oh and of course you were right about NUFC signing a top Striker! SHEARER! SHEARER! SHEARER!

He's signed an extension to his contract, to end his career with
The Toon! As BBC Radio Five Live said, it's one of NUFC's most important signings, and it disappoints the legion of Clubs who were waiting in the wings to snap him up if he came available - like Liverpool.

Have a great Weekend Pete!

Cheers

soup dragon

Only because thats the only "half" decent player you have got.

The only reason he quit international football,is because he thought Heskey would force him to be on the bench.

Toonman1

So is that why Sven was so keen to have Al back?

And as for us having no other decent players; the same players were good enough to come higher than Chelsea in the EPL... last Season and the one before that. HOHOHOHO

We also generate our income from within, and don't have to rely on a Sugar Dadski to save us from the bailifs, like you lot.

You should join PSLewis's wind up party! Except he's way better than you at it. Dream on SD.

Night...

[Edited by Toonman1 - 9/13/2003 11:27:37 PM]

soup dragon

I know prostitution and gambling are quite big "up north"same as down here,but theres no need to come clean on a public forum.

Toonman1

You're not called Tim are you SD? You know, Tim, Tim Nice but dim...

I've absolutely no idea whether the things to which you refer, are popular up here or not. You're obviously very knowledgeable about them in your area though...

Cheers!

soup dragon

Is that the best you can do.

I am rather knowledgable about such subjects actually,I am recruiting at the mo,dont suppose you have any contacts for me.

Toonman1

Tim (AKA Soup Dragon)

Was the above sentence too complex for you to understand? I'm afraid you'll have to source your research elsewhere.

Shouldn't you be in another Forum though? Maybe www.whitecadillacwithleopardskinseats.com You never know, it may actually exist!

Toonman1

Now I know it's early for you Tim, but I'm going to bed now. Hope your night's a lucrative one. A chap like you is bound to be popular. Oooh! Suits you, sir. Ooh.

Cheers!

soup dragon

LOL.
Sorry,cant chat at the mo,I have a life to get on with,Ta Ta.

Toonman1

Yes, it really sounds like it Tim... HAHAHAHA

Cheers!