Golf handi-caps
18 June 2003, 11:20 AM
#4
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I used to play, my bros pretty tidy, he turned pro not long ago, on 4 (or whatever the highest is you can have to turn pro, im not sure tbh) oh and hes just turned 20, and obviously hasnt got much financial backing, so if any eccentric millionaires want to sponsor him email me 
He spends a lot of time at wentworth, not because hes loaded, cos he works there
[Edited by matt5cott - 6/18/2003 11:21:31 AM]
[Edited by matt5cott - 6/18/2003 11:22:05 AM]
He spends a lot of time at wentworth, not because hes loaded, cos he works there
[Edited by matt5cott - 6/18/2003 11:21:31 AM]
[Edited by matt5cott - 6/18/2003 11:22:05 AM]
18 June 2003, 11:30 AM
#5
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Think you have to be 6 or 7 to turn pro.
Good luck to him but i would think that at 20 he aint going to cut it in the big time. You need to be playing off scratch by around 14 or 15. Might get a good job at a course as a teaching pro though so fair play to him
Good luck to him but i would think that at 20 he aint going to cut it in the big time. You need to be playing off scratch by around 14 or 15. Might get a good job at a course as a teaching pro though so fair play to him
18 June 2003, 11:33 AM
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Was playing off 15 before this year. For some bizarre reason, I have developed a fecking shank with my pitches to the green within 80yrds! May have something to do with a mate (who plays off 6) suggesting I should change my grip!!!!
Anyway, I was sent this recently which you might find funny, but true :-
1. If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a
much earlier age.
2. The game of golf is 90% mental and 10% mental.
3. Since bad shots come in groups of three, a
fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.
4. When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again
at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever
want to see it again.
5. Any change works for a maximum of three holes - or at a minimum of not at
all.
6. No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.
7. Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during
your swing.
8. When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one
more club or two more *****.
9. If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome
ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can
immediately shank a lay-up, or you can wait until the green is clear and top
a ball halfway there.
10. The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas
about the golf swing.
11. The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of
the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all
of your many other errors.
12. If it ain't broke, try changing your grip.
13. Golfers who claim they don't cheat, also lie.
14. Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.
15. A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.
16. It's surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt when you lie 8.
17. Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like
expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.
18. Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.
19. It's not a gimme if you're still away.
20. The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a
straight line that passes directly through the centre of a very large tree.
21. There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces, and bounces just the way
you meant to play it.
22. You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time, and a 2-inch branch 90% of
the time.
23. Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple
bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
24. If you want to hit a 7-iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to
lay up just short of a water hazard.
25. To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply the speed of
his back swing by his handicap. Example: back swing 20 mph, handicap 15,
downswing 300mph.
26. There are two things you can learn by stopping your back swing at the
top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and
which one is wearing the glove.
27. Hazards attract; fairways repel.
28. You can put "draw" on the ball, you can put "fade" on the ball, but no
golfer can put "straight" on the ball.
29. A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.
30. If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is
in the bunker.
31. If both ***** are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.
32. Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.
Now, go out and enjoy a wonderful game .. ;D
Anyway, I was sent this recently which you might find funny, but true :-
1. If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a
much earlier age.
2. The game of golf is 90% mental and 10% mental.
3. Since bad shots come in groups of three, a
fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.
4. When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again
at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever
want to see it again.
5. Any change works for a maximum of three holes - or at a minimum of not at
all.
6. No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.
7. Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during
your swing.
8. When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one
more club or two more *****.
9. If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome
ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can
immediately shank a lay-up, or you can wait until the green is clear and top
a ball halfway there.
10. The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas
about the golf swing.
11. The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of
the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all
of your many other errors.
12. If it ain't broke, try changing your grip.
13. Golfers who claim they don't cheat, also lie.
14. Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.
15. A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.
16. It's surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt when you lie 8.
17. Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like
expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.
18. Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.
19. It's not a gimme if you're still away.
20. The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a
straight line that passes directly through the centre of a very large tree.
21. There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces, and bounces just the way
you meant to play it.
22. You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time, and a 2-inch branch 90% of
the time.
23. Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple
bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
24. If you want to hit a 7-iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to
lay up just short of a water hazard.
25. To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply the speed of
his back swing by his handicap. Example: back swing 20 mph, handicap 15,
downswing 300mph.
26. There are two things you can learn by stopping your back swing at the
top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and
which one is wearing the glove.
27. Hazards attract; fairways repel.
28. You can put "draw" on the ball, you can put "fade" on the ball, but no
golfer can put "straight" on the ball.
29. A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.
30. If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is
in the bunker.
31. If both ***** are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.
32. Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.
Now, go out and enjoy a wonderful game .. ;D
18 June 2003, 11:34 AM
#7
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TVR Gary,
I think he isnt ever going to make it to the BIG BIG time, however I think he has a realistic chance of playing for a living, he has already got cabinets full of crystal.
Like you say, also the option of being a teacher, although I dont think his patience is cut out for it
I think he isnt ever going to make it to the BIG BIG time, however I think he has a realistic chance of playing for a living, he has already got cabinets full of crystal.
Like you say, also the option of being a teacher, although I dont think his patience is cut out for it
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18 June 2003, 11:38 AM
#9
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Matt
I dont think a 4 handi-capper is going to make a living out of it ..... hope he does but I dont think it will happen. You have to be on the bigger circuits to make enough money to live, travel etc etc and you wont do that off 4
The list of notes posted were great and very very true to say the least .....
I dont think a 4 handi-capper is going to make a living out of it ..... hope he does but I dont think it will happen. You have to be on the bigger circuits to make enough money to live, travel etc etc and you wont do that off 4
The list of notes posted were great and very very true to say the least .....
18 June 2003, 11:44 AM
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Never had an official handicap calculated... but I reckon at my best I'd be about 25!!
Trying to improve this summer - bought some new clubs off the net and they've made a marked difference. Changed stance too.
However, I still manage to play (usually) one shot per hole that is either dreadfully unlucky (behind a tree, rolls into a brook etc) or is just incredibly poor, and that means I'm playing "catch up" for the rest of the hole.
Sometimes think I'd be better using just the putter...
The courses vary loads here (B'ham) too. Some of the greens are terrible on the municipal courses, so you could be on for a good score on reaching the green, only to find rabbits have redesigned the ground! Bah!
Trying to improve this summer - bought some new clubs off the net and they've made a marked difference. Changed stance too.
However, I still manage to play (usually) one shot per hole that is either dreadfully unlucky (behind a tree, rolls into a brook etc) or is just incredibly poor, and that means I'm playing "catch up" for the rest of the hole.
Sometimes think I'd be better using just the putter...
The courses vary loads here (B'ham) too. Some of the greens are terrible on the municipal courses, so you could be on for a good score on reaching the green, only to find rabbits have redesigned the ground! Bah!
18 June 2003, 11:45 AM
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Do you qualify for a handicap when you play on par 3 pitch and putts? Anything under a ton is worthy of a beer in my book
[Edited by ChrisB - 6/18/2003 11:46:11 AM]
[Edited by ChrisB - 6/18/2003 11:46:11 AM]
18 June 2003, 11:50 AM
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They had workmen on one of the courses (Lickey Hills) here, and my brother managed to slice a tee shot to hit the side of their van parked up. Well funny - they all scattered and dived for cover.
Only bettered by me on the front nine, where a "worm-burner" tee shot hit one of the Women's Red Tee-off metal boxes about 30 yards in front of me, and the ball shot upwards and backwards over my head. Landed 50 yards behind where I teed off from, on another green. Class.
Only bettered by me on the front nine, where a "worm-burner" tee shot hit one of the Women's Red Tee-off metal boxes about 30 yards in front of me, and the ball shot upwards and backwards over my head. Landed 50 yards behind where I teed off from, on another green.
Class.
18 June 2003, 12:03 PM
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Duck pond ......
southampton Muni near me ..... hit a ball off the tee towards a pair four green which had two dogs led down by it ... Got closer and realised they werent dogs but foxes ...... got closer and scared them off, as they ran ( no word of a lie) one of them picked me mates ball up and ran like Fxxk ....... couldnt stop laffing for the rest of the round coz me mate bitched about it so much. He was on for a good score up till then ....haha
southampton Muni near me ..... hit a ball off the tee towards a pair four green which had two dogs led down by it ... Got closer and realised they werent dogs but foxes ...... got closer and scared them off, as they ran ( no word of a lie) one of them picked me mates ball up and ran like Fxxk ....... couldnt stop laffing for the rest of the round coz me mate bitched about it so much. He was on for a good score up till then ....haha
18 June 2003, 12:23 PM
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We got one of the lads here at work on the trick with the exploding golf ball. None of us are much cop at golf, but this lad plays off about 15, so is MUCH better than we are, relatively. Hence it was "easy" to get him to demonstrate how to hit the ball properly.
We put the tee and ball down, then invited him to show us how it's done. Up he comes, does all the weird body shaking, addresses the ball and SMACK!!!
Huge (as big as a car) explosion of white dust, and the look of total confusion on his face was superb. Only when he turned round to find us all on our backs in hysterics did the penny drop.
Luckily for him (and us) the wind blew the dust away, otherwise he'd have been covered! If you get the chance, and someone foolish enough to use it on, it's really, really funny.
We put the tee and ball down, then invited him to show us how it's done. Up he comes, does all the weird body shaking, addresses the ball and SMACK!!!
Huge (as big as a car) explosion of white dust, and the look of total confusion on his face was superb. Only when he turned round to find us all on our backs in hysterics did the penny drop.
Luckily for him (and us) the wind blew the dust away, otherwise he'd have been covered! If you get the chance, and someone foolish enough to use it on, it's really, really funny.
18 June 2003, 12:34 PM
#17
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Alpine 99
You should turn Pro, my first bad shot inevitabily happens on the first tee 
Great game.. I play well until my first bad shot... then it decends into mayhem... BTW first bad shot always comes in first 5 holes!
18 June 2003, 05:15 PM
#21
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8, but not playing much, so likely to struggle to play to that.
To turn pro, you have to be a category 1 player, that is 5 or less. However, to give you an indication of how good you really need to be to cut it, the top pros had handicaps of +2 or greater (that means they have to add shots on to their scores at the end of the round, not take them off like ue mere minions).
Geezer
To turn pro, you have to be a category 1 player, that is 5 or less. However, to give you an indication of how good you really need to be to cut it, the top pros had handicaps of +2 or greater (that means they have to add shots on to their scores at the end of the round, not take them off like ue mere minions).
Geezer
18 June 2003, 05:32 PM
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"Only bettered by me on the front nine, where a "worm-burner" tee shot hit one of the Women's Red Tee-off metal boxes about 30 yards in front of me, and the ball shot upwards and backwards over my head. Landed 50 yards behind where I teed off from, on another green"
We should get together for a game - 18th hole at Braemar - tricky little blighter - head full on get it in the green this time - hit the ball - hits the ladied red peg (which is a target approx 1 inch in diameter) ball rolls back to within 3 inches of where it started
We should get together for a game - 18th hole at Braemar - tricky little blighter - head full on get it in the green this time - hit the ball - hits the ladied red peg (which is a target approx 1 inch in diameter) ball rolls back to within 3 inches of where it started
18 June 2003, 08:36 PM
#23
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I bet you come in with about 44 points on a stapleford competition though ........bandit .....haha
It does have its advantages yes 
However, I'd rather be hitting consistently better shots!! Still only been to the range twice and 18 holes once in the last month or so and before that was 2 years of nothing so I guess it could be a lot worse! 
19 June 2003, 04:26 PM
#24
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Hi all,
I am playing off a 4 HCP, I have been playing for a number of years now but I have not had the time to really find out how good of a player one can be by spending more time on the practice-ground...
/L-O
I am playing off a 4 HCP, I have been playing for a number of years now but I have not had the time to really find out how good of a player one can be by spending more time on the practice-ground...
/L-O
25 June 2003, 01:40 PM
#26
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I'm a 12 myself but don't get out enough to get any real consistency...
Maybe we should start a Scoobynet society
Dazzler, I had the same problem a few years back, shanking all my approaches under 80 yards. I basically had to go back to basics, locking wrists and arms etc but it really boiled down to me keeping my head down and slowing the swing right up. I still shank the occasional shot but I'm alot better.... The trouble with shanking is if you keep doing them it f**ks your head up
[Edited by Steve Howat - 6/25/2003 1:44:50 PM]
Maybe we should start a Scoobynet society
Dazzler, I had the same problem a few years back, shanking all my approaches under 80 yards. I basically had to go back to basics, locking wrists and arms etc but it really boiled down to me keeping my head down and slowing the swing right up. I still shank the occasional shot but I'm alot better.... The trouble with shanking is if you keep doing them it f**ks your head up
[Edited by Steve Howat - 6/25/2003 1:44:50 PM]
26 June 2003, 05:50 PM
#27
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i used to play off 14 in my youth but got a significantly higher un when i joined current club so call me 
(OK it's more of a pimp smile but couldn't be arsed looking for a bandit [NB i didnt say i was looking for an **** bandit
] lmao)
other scooby-si is allegedly single figures but i kicked his sorry *** on the crazy golf at the NBO the other week! Whos da daddy bytch lol
Si
(OK it's more of a pimp smile but couldn't be arsed looking for a bandit [NB i didnt say i was looking for an **** bandit] lmao)other scooby-si is allegedly single figures but i kicked his sorry *** on the crazy golf at the NBO the other week! Whos da daddy bytch
lolSi
26 June 2003, 07:30 PM
#28
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Handicap is the same as my age - 23, but I don't play much - once a month with the society and maybe once in between society events. Never go to the driving range. Had a few lessons last summer and the chap said I could easily be a single figure golfer but obviously that involves practicing, one day I will really get into it.
My party trick is driving a par 4 hole and ending up taking 5 shots (done it about 3 times now)!
Have any taller golfers tried extended length clubs - I'm 6'5" and think I might benefit from a couple of extra inches (...ON MY GOLF CLUBS!).
[Edited by JamieMacdonald - 6/26/2003 7:31:32 PM]
My party trick is driving a par 4 hole and ending up taking 5 shots (done it about 3 times now)!
Have any taller golfers tried extended length clubs - I'm 6'5" and think I might benefit from a couple of extra inches (...ON MY GOLF CLUBS!
).[Edited by JamieMacdonald - 6/26/2003 7:31:32 PM]
27 August 2003, 06:54 AM
#29
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I hope the guy does well as a pro,good luck to him.But as already posted,the last player in the Euro oney list will have averaged scratch over the longest and toughest courses,unbelievable standard.Most top players will be somehwere around +3/4 over a season,even with high ss its awesome.Good luck to him though.
I'm pretty low,but would never,ever regard 5 to anywhere near pro level.I played some top amateurs in the early 80s,and they thrashed me,they were all srcatch or one.The difference between 5 and scratch is just massive imho.Its like a pub team trying to take on Man U,unlikely but not impossible.
Also,i dont want to offend,but imhhhhhhhho,with todays equipment i dont think a 4 h/c is as good as it was.Havine had a 15 year gap in the game,i'm astonished at the extra 30/40 yards you can get with the driver,and the extra 20 yeards with a top ball (although with a blade i'm no ,longer with irons).I'm considerably worse than i was,obviuosly,but i could get a single figure handicap relatively easily,due imo entirely down to length off the tea.
Incredible *****,woods and putters,i'm still in shock tbh.I bought a relatively cheapish Hippo titanium,and ist alomost impost impossible to hit a bad shot.With my old persimmon Mizuno extra stiff MS1,a bad shot would be miles away,with the Hippo the worst you get is a minor push/pull,and then you have a short iron recovery due to length off the tea.Its a different game to only 15 years old.
I'm pretty low,but would never,ever regard 5 to anywhere near pro level.I played some top amateurs in the early 80s,and they thrashed me,they were all srcatch or one.The difference between 5 and scratch is just massive imho.Its like a pub team trying to take on Man U,unlikely but not impossible.
Also,i dont want to offend,but imhhhhhhhho,with todays equipment i dont think a 4 h/c is as good as it was.Havine had a 15 year gap in the game,i'm astonished at the extra 30/40 yards you can get with the driver,and the extra 20 yeards with a top ball (although with a blade i'm no ,longer with irons).I'm considerably worse than i was,obviuosly,but i could get a single figure handicap relatively easily,due imo entirely down to length off the tea.
Incredible *****,woods and putters,i'm still in shock tbh.I bought a relatively cheapish Hippo titanium,and ist alomost impost impossible to hit a bad shot.With my old persimmon Mizuno extra stiff MS1,a bad shot would be miles away,with the Hippo the worst you get is a minor push/pull,and then you have a short iron recovery due to length off the tea.Its a different game to only 15 years old.
29 August 2003, 11:57 AM
#30
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i played off 5.4 until 2 years ago when i packed in cos i only managed 10 rounds in a year and couldn't justify £660. luckily though i've got an invite to play the brabazon course at the belfry next week so it's now driving range for the next 5 days...and a handicap of 15!!!!