Squizz

“Oooh, look at that caked on mud on your beautiful paint-work”. She said.

Whilst I’m carrying a bag of what felt like half a ton of Cotswold stone chippings from the garden into the garage. “Yeah…Gotta wash it later”, I replied after hefting the bag to a suitable resting place and single-handedly making extinct several species of insects and arachnids.

What I’d neglected to do was take much notice of her actions accompanying her original sentence. It was only when I turned toward her that time began to warp and slow to an excrutiating pace.

Her fore-finger was moving toward a single blob of dried out mud-splatter resplendent on the bonnet of my pride and joy. I knew instinctively what was about to happen, yet before I could speak to warn her, it was too late.

Ever wondered what sound a thousand over-long fingernails being dragged across a thousand dusty chalk-boards sounds like? Ever considered how craggy and sharp a speck of dust looks like under an electron-microscope?

All were brought to my full attention, as in my slow-motion tortured world, my girlfriend used her finger to press on the little block of dirt on my bonnet and then rub it in…Shocked to the core, I could see the swirls appearing in my paint-work. The Grand Canyon seemed to pale into insignificance.

“What’s up with you?” She asked, innocently.

The doctor says the beta-blockers will keep me on an even keel, but added that I’d given the paramedics quite a struggle trying to sedate me. Only the development my of Turets Syndrome had him perplexed…

(More sh*t from Squizz "I'm very bored" publications (c) 2001).

Go on then - Muppet me!

harj

Squizz you either need a new job or a new life? I think a new life is in order LOL

OH BTW I only had 1 harness fitted, for me

Dave T-S

LOL
Now do some bloody work!!

Harj
Custom extra long straps I trust???

Squizz

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:<HR>Originally posted by harj:
<B>Squizz you either need a new job or a new life? I think a new life is in order LOL

OH BTW I only had 1 harness fitted, for me [/quote]

You cheap-skate! I'll just rattle around in the footwell with the pie wrappers and empty lucozade bottles again, eh?

DrEvil

you truely have to much time on your hands!

harj

Squizz im strapping a camcorder to the roof and im using the passenger seatbelt LOL

Richard Askew

Rik - I thought you weren't redundant for another month?? Or are you exacting your revenge as a go-slow Whats going on for Donno? Who's convoying it.....are we meeting the 'ereford lot?

Squizz

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:<HR>Originally posted by Dave T-S:
<B>Now do some bloody work!!
[/quote]

Dave - They're making me redundant, mate.

That and the life of a software tester can be very quiet when the management have already escorted certain individuals off the premises - They being the ones who can sort out the problems on the Oracle DB I'm testing against.

Ha ha ha ha ha...

The same management style decisions that saw this place go ****-up in the first place.

The Zohan

Squiz

Sorry to hear about the impending redundancy, godd luck finding another job/contract

Paul

harj

Squizz im a trouble shooter on large programmes in difficulty, you can use my services if you want and the rates are competetive, actually no-one else does what we do

Squizz

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:<HR>Originally posted by harj:
<B>Squizz im a trouble shooter on large programmes in difficulty, you can use my services if you want and the rates are competetive, actually no-one else does what we do [/quote]

I dread to ask what it is you actually DO, Harj.

As for my lot...F*ck 'em.

I got tired of Project Managing for them, which is why a side-stepped into testing. They kept signing contracts we couldn't meet and I was the one on the messy end of the stick trying to explain to a clients board meeting why we were such f*ck wits.

Lots of talented people to do the work, all controlled by Buffalo-Bill, Billy the Kid, and the Lone Ranger.

(Them's cowboys, them is... )

Dave T-S

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:<HR>Originally posted by Squizz:
<B> Dave - They're making me redundant, mate.

That and the life of a software tester can be very quiet when the management have already escorted certain individuals off the premises - They being the ones who can sort out the problems on the Oracle DB I'm testing against.

Ha ha ha ha ha...

The same management style decisions that saw this place go ****-up in the first place.

[/quote]


Squizz
Oops - sorry mate - almost as good timing as the day I posted suggesting someone hired George Carman and he had died the same morning - well I am a Muppet....