Squizz

Who among you live on a relatively new estate? You know, those built on the outskirts of town, with their quirky road-names based on poets, trees, or birds of prey?

Soul-sucking homes that are seemingly built on top of each other. That or their alignments were based on the way the wind was blowing at the time. Thus ensuring your kitchen window looks out directly into next doors master-bedroom. Where your mower isn’t pointy enough to get into the acute angle where the shoddily erected fences meet each other. Where the loud music played four streets away at a party seems funnelled into your bedroom window as if BOSE had been especially commissioned with the task.

So, whilst Barrats, Beazer, and McAlpine, were stirring their cauldron and adding eye of newt and wing of bat to curse us and our 2.4 children…One of them was obviously playing some Marilyn Manson (or was it Steps?) backwards and listening to the devil. Their blessing ? The accursed idea of; The Shared Drive-Way.

How many of you estate dwellers have had your pulse rate quickened by someone blocking access to your driveway? By some beaten-up Nissan Bluebird driving take-away delivery boy blocking you in as you’re just about to leave for that important journalistic awards dinner? (NOT). How many arguments has it caused when some lazy or ignorant individual has parked on your section of the drive whilst visiting someone living around the corner!?

Should you manage to squeeze your steed between the topiary and crap rockeries, and across the acres of block paving…What are you presented with?

Garage microsurgery: Get your four-door saloon into that miniscule garage without folding the sheet metal of the wings and doors like you would peeling a banana! Avoiding that extra column on the inside of the exterior wall that means you have to drive nose-in otherwise opening the driver’s door is impossible, rather than just paint-crackingly improbable.

Hopefully, you’ve made a good job of it…Next door have got their nephews and nieces round again which means their five door Frontera has, as usual, been parked right in front of your garage door for at least the next four hours.

Ever seen “Neighbours from Hell” ? Hey, you bought the place, right?!

(Public courtesy announcement via Squizz publications (c) 2001 ).

The Zohan

Good god man!
You looked at the show house, house plans and road layouts, checked the boundries and shared access and agreed it all before exchanging contracts and now you moan!
Too busy choosing the tiles in the bathroom and wondering if the curtains in the spare room matches the carpet where we?

Next time take a more careful look before you sign.

P.S. have a nice day

harj

Squizz you can share my driveway as ive got enough parkign for 20+ cars

I tell you what, Ł10 per night for rental to ya? oh and you have to make your own way home LOL

IWatkins

Harj,

Only 20+ ? I'm sure with a good run-up it could be at least 30+

And as your neighbour likes Scoobies (sad b*gg*r) I'm sure he wouldn't mind a few parking on his lawn

Cheers

Ian

Dave T-S

Squizz
Is something bothering you mate???

Squizz

Hey, I was bored and fancied chancing my arm at writing a Clarkson-esque piece.

So I picked on the ignorant w*nkers I live next door to.

Harj - S'alright mate...Myself and your missus already have an arrangement.

Dave T-S

Picture this - I used to live in a different house in the same village I do now - detached, on it's own plot, facing the road. There was a stream running along the front so access to the house/drive was via a bridge, about two feet wider than a car. There was no access to either side of the house, the front garden was open, so you could see the bridge was access to my property and nothing else.

One weekend, somebody drove on to my bridge, left their car in the middle of the bridge, locked it, walked away somewhere miles away in the village for several hours before coming back

This got relayed to me by a neighbour who saw the goings on. I was in the back garden working at the time and knew nothing about this.........just as well, I would have jacked it up with my trolley jack and tipped it off the bridge

What about if I had wanted to get out in a hurry (my car was parked in the drive).

I mean, it didn't have a bloody NCP sign above the driveway. What would possess anybody to do such a thing??? There are some VERY odd people on the loose out there!!!

Squizz

Grrrr...Dave, was that legally your land? Either way, it's blocking your access which IS illegal.

My "neighbour" (loosest possible term) has his garage at 90 degress to mine. On the deeds he has space for one car to be parked in front of it. Which would be fine, but they consistently park another car behind that, blocking access for me to my garage.

What can one do legally? They offer to move the car each time I need access, but why should I have to ask when that space is for SHARED access?

Any legal (and cheap) recourse?

AWD

Dave - did you have some words with the culprit when they returned?

harj

Watty don't forget the garage mate, few more in there LOL

Next time Ian no more Oil Slicks or your banned! lol

TAZ 2414

Squizz - what possessed you to buy a new place in the first place? I suppose they look really good on paper?

Sorry Dave T I just couldn't find anywhere else to park! and I assumed you rally jumped the scooby over the stream!

Dave T-S

Squizz
It WAS my land - and clearly off the public highway (which is why it is lucky I did not see it........:mad .

In your case, a friendly word asking them not to park there regardless, but if they refuse it will get ugly - is it any wonder neighbour disputes are the biggest category of environmental complaints??

And get this - when selling a property you are now requested to state any disputes with neighbours, and if you do not can be held in breach of contract.....

IWatkins

Harj,

Yeah, sorry mate, forgot the garage. With use of a few ramps and a run-up, at least 5 cars in there

The oil slick is now fixed (thank god) and was an engine out job to do it as well I still owe you for driveway cleaning, see me at Dono.

Cheers

Ian

Squizz

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:<HR>Originally posted by IWatkins:
<B>I still owe you for driveway cleaning, see me at Dono.

Cheers

Ian[/quote]

Ian - Keep an eye out for me too. Be great to meet you.

Dave T-S - Blimey. Actually, they've already had a letter from me asking them politely not to park there. What more can I do, without spending money on legal costs, eh?

Richard Askew

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:<HR>Originally posted by Squizz:

Harj - S'alright mate...Myself and your missus already have an arrangement. [/B]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


.....at least you know when Larj is at home M8.....the Ginsters Pasty Vans parked outside ...........running for cover as we speak

robski

Squizz,

you coud park there yourself?

robski

Squizz

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:<HR>Originally posted by robski:
<B>Squizz,

you coud park there yourself?

robski[/quote]

Myself and another such blighted neighbour are thinking that over currently.

We're possibly going to block him in with both our cars, and leave in another one. Meanwhile, my video camera will be taping the scene from a window just in case he decides to vent any frustration on our property (including vehicles)...

Keeping all bases covered.

I'm fed up talking about this now, it's spoiling my day...

Cheers, guys!

Dave T-S

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:<HR>Originally posted by TAZ 2414:
<B>Squizz - what possessed you to buy a new place in the first place? I suppose they look really good on paper?

Sorry Dave T I just couldn't find anywhere else to park! and I assumed you rally jumped the scooby over the stream!

[/quote]


TAZ
I've had six new houses - I don't like living in houses other people have lived in.....!!

PS - the bridge incident was nine years ago - I had an Astra GSI then - oh well

harj

I askyou Richard bet you had loads of that at School :P LOL

Watty don't be silly about the driveway, just buy me lunch LOL

Richard Askew

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:<HR>Originally posted by harj:
<B>I askyou Richard bet you had loads of that at School :P LOL

Watty don't be silly about the driveway, just buy me lunch LOL

[/quote]

Marj - yes I did especially as my middle name is Ian..........Richard I Askew......don't start M8..

IWatkins

Harj,
I would rather pay for the driveway to be cleaned and then lined with gold. Cheaper

Squizz
I'll look out for you, won't be difficult, the ginger one who is talking to himself or anybody who will listen (Go get a job mate)

Cheers

Ian

Alas

I've had the same problem with shared driveway the last two houses I've been in. This time bought a place with a double width drive that can take 5 cars and a garage at the top.
So Happy Days - now the house across the road is building a conservatory and guess whose drive gets blocked by the builders every second day. I was going to kick his a** but then saw the size of him and his mate. Now ask him politely to move and wait 10 minutes while he scratches his a** before he bothers. Think I'll buy a JCB and no need for him to move then.
Alas

NAF

Ruddy Builders are ALL the same
I've had enough bad experiences with them to last me a lifetime!!
Niall