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Old 18 July 2000, 12:10 AM
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Paul Frank
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oh dear David!

a very old urban legend I'm afraid . . . so expect abuse from the smart ar$es on here!

Anyway a few facts for you to send back to the muppet who sent you the email:

Sidewinder air-to-ground missile this is an air to air missile

Luckily the Dutch pilot don't think the Dutch have any Tornados

the automatic protection system no such thing on a Tornado

FWIW
Paul
Old 18 July 2000, 10:04 AM
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davidw
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All this talk of radar detectors prompted me to post this tale I received yesterday.
Urban Legend?

"A report has revealed that two traffic patrol officers from North Berwick were involved in an unusual incident whilst checking for speeding motorists on the A1 road between Oldhamstocks and Grantshouse.

Last May, they were using a hand-held radar device to trap unwary motorists on the Edinburgh to London trunk road. One of the unnamed officers used the device to check the speed of an approaching vehicle, and was surprised to find that his target had registered a speed in excess of 300 miles per hour. The _5000 machine then seized up and could not be re-set by the bemused PC's. The radar had in fact latched on to a NATO Tornado aircraft in the North Sea, which was taking part in a simulated low-flying exercise over the Borders and Southern Scotland.

Following a complaint by Sir William Sutherland, Chief Constable of the Lothian & Borders Police force to the RAF liaison office, it was revealed that the officers had a lucky
escape - the tactical computer on board the aircraft not only detected and jammed the "hostile" radar equipment, but had automatically armed a Sidewinder air-to-ground missile ready to neutralise the perceived threat. Luckily the Dutch pilot was alerted to the missile status and was able to override the automatic protection system before the missile launched.

The Police have so far declined to comment, although it is understood that officers will be advised to point their radar guns inland in future."
Old 18 July 2000, 05:27 PM
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HunterB
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First heard the story over fifteen years ago .... It gets better every time.
Old 19 July 2000, 01:38 PM
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Paul Frank
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HunterB

Actually was in a Quantas 747 the other week that had to dump 74 tonnes of aviation fuel all over the Dutch so I could understand if their airforce (actually, do they have one?) were a bit pi$$ed at the Brits.

Couldn't condone them firing a missile at the nice police chaps though . . could I?


FWIW
Paul
PS mind you a laser guided bomb at a Gatso - well that entirely another matter . . isn't it?
Old 19 July 2000, 02:05 PM
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letdown
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Luckily the Dutch pilot don't think the Dutch have any Tornados!!!!!!


hah hah sm@rt ****'s!! NATO have Tornado's!!!
Old 19 July 2000, 03:05 PM
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skipjack
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davidw

this is a pukka news story from late last year: i remember reading it in the daily telegraph as it was so rib-ticklingly apt.

looks like it's lost some accuracy in the re-telling. the royal netherlands air force doesn't fly the tornado (it's us, the germans and the italians), however Dutch pilots and other nationals do fly our planes as part of NATO inter air force pilot exchange programs. and we theirs (where the true test of skill is the ability to skin up one handed while inverted and pulling negative g. i think this is known as the "skunk turn").
Old 19 July 2000, 05:10 PM
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SimonH
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This story's been doing the rounds here in the RAF for donkey's years. Probably based on some vague fact but the tale in the opening post has been embellished to the point of nonsense.
On the subject of Radar Detectors, just back from 2 weeks in France where on day 1 of my hols I meet Monsieur Le Gendarme in a Service Station who advised me that a) My radar detector was illegal in France (carriage in a vehicle), b) he was confiscating it and c) I was going to pay an on the spot fine of £500. Bargain. He was kind enough to escort me a cash machine which I then emptied for him. He did say he was being kind though; if my car had been running and the detector had been on the fine would have been £1000. Sweet.

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Old 19 July 2000, 05:16 PM
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Paul Frank
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letdown / skipjack

so it's a pukka story huh?

WOW
can I suggest you ring the RAF and tell them that their Sidewinders won't shoot down other aircraft anymore then? (but I'd guess the Argentinian airforce pilots might find it hard to believe . . ?)

ALSO they also might be interested in this 'automatic protection system' . . anyway just how powerful do you think a handheld radar gun is anyway?? anyone who has a radar detector know how there are lots of other devices around using the same band(s) . . . so how about I start a story of a Tornado locking on automatically to a Sainsbury's supermarket?
Someone is bound to believe it ! !


Paul
PS HunterB I really wish I'd kept the 20x different versions of this story I've received on email over the years . . .
Old 19 July 2000, 05:21 PM
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Neil Smalley
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I believe the Dutch airforce has F16's
Old 19 July 2000, 05:35 PM
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SimonH
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Neil - correct.
Skipjack - if you're inverted you'd have to push negative g, not pull it. The sidewinder is a short range, Air to Air heat seeking missile, not radar detecting. The only automatic protection system I can think of is the defensive aids suite that pumps out chaff and flares to decoy away incoming missiles. As I said, fun story probably based on fact, embellished with years of journalistic licence.

I get my coat. Sorry, anorak.
Old 19 July 2000, 10:47 PM
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DesG
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Old 20 July 2000, 02:23 PM
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skipjack
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paul: i said it was a pukka news story - 'cos it ran in a national broadsheet. didn't say that made it true, sport.
Old 20 July 2000, 02:31 PM
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Paul Frank
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DesG

Nice reply (& link!) - sorta gone quiet now?

Old 20 July 2000, 03:38 PM
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Paul Frank
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Skipjack

your words "looks like it's lost some accuracy in the re-telling"

oh & the use of the word pukka is also quite amusing

Paul
Old 21 July 2000, 04:07 PM
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skipjack
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paul

doh. i bow to the semantically superior.just check out the telegraph archive:looks like they're the mugs for running a lemon.
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