Lime

I am not condoning illegal behaviour in any way but...
Someone has done me a very serious wrong for which I want to have some revenge as I am sick of being a nice guy who gets walked on by other people.
I want it to be a one off that will get the message through that they have pi$$ed someone off big time and that they had better change there behaviour towards others.
It has got to be within the law, is that possible? If not sod it I will take the consequences that befalls getting some justice for once!
So any suggestions for a scumbag who deserves far worse than I am likely to have the guts to do
hmm and please no holy than holy peeps spouting revenge is never satisfying because in this case it will be!

come on people give me some ideas!

Richard Askew

Lime - how about this.....I had some friends from a recently privatised gas company to dig a trench around my ex fiancees car ...ie two foot wide by 5 foot deep and like that for over a week....

Luke

Take up Yoga,It might help with the anger.

JFB

Dog**** under the door handles!

But I didn't say that ok?

"Rover" HE He

Mr.Cookie

Back on the drugs i see Rich

Richard Askew

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:<HR>Originally posted by Mr.Cookie:
<B>Back on the drugs i see Rich [/quote]

...take that slanderous allegation back u slag

Mr.Cookie

hey your the one that starts a post but cant finish it

Ps Who you calling Slag

Maz-old

Lime,

Don't know what has been done to you old chap, but bear in mind the following.

The police have access to this bbs and anything you say on it is admissible in court.

Also, anything you do that is an offence will be dealt with severely and may affect the future of this bbs.

Finally, if you do something stupid and the police catch up with you, DO NOT SAY ANYTHING UNTIL YOU GET A SOLICITOR. NOT AT THE SCENE, NOT IN THE POLICE CAR, NOT AT ALL.

It helps the lawyers clean up afterwards.

boomer

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:<HR>Originally posted by Maz:
<B>The police have access to this bbs and anything you say on it is admissible in court.[/quote]

Bollocks!!!

Where is the proof????

mb

astraboy

Get a valve core remover, remove the guys valve cores. Hang on to em for a couple of weeks, then tape em to his windscreen with a note reading "borrowed valve cores returned, cheers mate!"

If you have access to his underbonnet area:
Couple of kippers on the guys manifold never hurt. smell a lot though.
or,
Get a couple of cans of shaving foam and tape them to the exhaust manifold they should heat sufficently to split after a few miles, covering the entire underbonnet area with foam. Try not to do this with WD40. Tends to kill people with the spraying burning oil.

If you have access to his interior a largish fish under the front seat will go off a treat in this weather.

How often do you look at the passenger side of your car when you are getting in it? Not ofetn? neither do a lot of people. a wee (or not so wee ) sign saying something along the lines of "The man driving this car is a complete waste of skin and vital organs" taped to the passenger door will let people know what you think of him.
hold on, i'll get some more.
astraboy.

astraboy

Know the guy's address? why not sign him up for as many hardcore **** mags as you can afford? The mans a w@nker right? For extra embarrasment get em sent to his office.

While we are on the subject you could always sign him up for as much junk mail as you can find. You never know he might need that intergral frying pan - radio set up!

Grass fertiliser is usually white so when you pour it on the mans lawn to spell the word "****" not only will the neighbours see, but when he trys to hose it off that will make sure it is a more permanant fixture. like 5-7 years in raised and greener grass.

Mr.Cookie

Astraboy can i just say your a wonderful human being and i'd never ever wish to upset you

astraboy

Go to a pet shop and buy a collar and a lead. Then drive about till you see a sufficently large piece of roadkill. tie the collar and lead round the critters neck and then pick up the whole lot in a plakkie bag. go to the mans car and tie the lead to under the bumper, then throw the roadkill underneathe the car. sooner or later, he will get picked up by the bill or a suitably outraged animal lover.

collect newspapers for about 3 months and then spend a night crumpling them up, sheet by sheet. then, if you can get into his house, there should be enough to fill a room from floor to ceiling. If not just dump the lot on his drive.

Does this guy have an office that you have access to? then go along early (or late) and borrow the door to it! he'll miss it when its gone...


[This message has been edited by astraboy (edited 26 August 2001).]

astraboy

Call a mortuary and report the man dead, arrange to have the body picked up when he is at home.

Ping pong ball is the petrol tank are a good'un they will get sucked into the pick up, blocking it. when the engine die they will float to the top. this process is repeated until swearing starts and a lot long after. takes a special mechanic to spot it too.

get the mans coffee cup and put one drop of phenolthalien(sp?) in it. fill with water, then pour away and allow the cup to dry. there is still residue in the cup. the effect? well he'll have to be linford christie to make it to the bog....

astraboy

If you can get access to his bog then dump a load of washing up liquid in his cistern. the mountain of bubbles produced by a flush is really something to behold.

If he has a strong enough flat roof, try coaxing a cow onto it. the cow should go up with a little persuasion, but once you whip the cherry picker away and leg it then it realises that the only way is down....

The Saint

I hope he is up to date with his taxes and VAT.

The IR and VAT have special sections that take tip-offs about tax dodgers.

I assume his house/office is fully up to date with all planning regulations ? Otherwise the authorities might need to get involved.

And I assume that he never uses illicit drugs, otherwise you might have to call crimestoppers, or his employers.

A public spirited citizen.

Lime

Astraboy some very ingenious ideas
All I have to figure out, is how to do them without being spotted!
mmm revenge is gonna be sweet lol

mikeesingh

iTrader: (3)

astraboy

AllanB

These are quite effective.

If you have access to his house , several packets of water cress seeds lovingley sowed in his carpet on the watered will go down a treat and provide a lovely indoor marden for many , many weeks.
or
Go to the fishing shop and buy 4 pints of maggots. Keep them for a few days until some of them start to turn into chysalises. During the night or when he is out pour the maggots through his letter box. They'll crawl into the pile of his carpet and me impossible to hoover up and over the next week he'll have thousands of fat hairy flies evrywhere. More maggots equals more flies.
or
Buy some / newpapers or **** mags and wallpaper paste it to his windscreen.


AllanB

Rikki23

Hi Astraboy.

I want to be friends with you too.

astraboy

call the man, before he can say anything, say "This is the phone engineer, there is trouble with your line Please do not answer any calls for the next five minutes or the person on the other end may be electrocuted. Thank you"
Wait a few minutes then call him again. When they answer scream AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! then slam the phone down.

Do you have access to his breifcase of luggage? Get a thin sheet of lead and cut out an outline of an Uzi. tape it to the inside wall of said suitcase and then glue or sew the lining back on. This has the effect of making going through airport security a bit of an ordeal.

astraboy

drop a couple of ccs of Methylene blue in his coffe or other dark coloured drink. Next time he takes a ****, blue urine.

Get hold of some of that bean bag filling polystyrene *****. go to his house late at night and tape newspaper over his doorframe with newspaper. make sure there are a few inches of room at the top. Pour the ***** in to the top. When he opens his front door in the morning, he will be greet with a shower of the lil *******s which are a bitch and a half to clean up.

If his front door opens inwards then tie his door handle to his car. Make sure it is a tight as possible so he cant open it in the morning.

astraboy

bet him 50 squid that he cant put a cue ball in his mouth. you will lose but the good bit is that cue ***** go in, but they dont come out. Medical science has seen to the development of a special tool to remove cue *****.

get a couple of copies of his business card. Go to the local whorehouse and hand them out to the laydees saying "call me sometime".

reprogram all his office speed dial numbers with sex line numbers.

if you are in his office, stay V late and spend the night forwarding EVERY number in the building to his phone. Include your own to avoid being caught.

astraboy

This takes a bit of luck, but is well worth it. Seal up his door with sheets of newspaper over it on a semi regular basis. What you have to wait for is the time where he gets used to it and starts punching through it or even better jumping through it. Then do it one more time, but position a coke machine or similar heavy oblect in front of it. Its either a broken hand or a concussion, either way it has the same effect.