Alan C

More learning ahead dear members

After your March lesson on the war God Mars, comes Aprils Aphrodite, the goddess of love, beauty and sexual rapture. The poet Hesiod said that Aphrodite was born from sea-foam (I can't help thinking 'Fish' here). Homer, on the other hand, said that she was the daughter of Zeus and Dione. Quite what Mr Simpson knows about Greek Gods is open to question. My guess is that it was Lisa who briefed him.

Another snippet is that when the Trojan prince Paris (The word 'Trojan' with the Goddess of love? I don't just knock this together you know) was asked to judge which of three Olympian goddesses was the most beautiful, he chose Aphrodite over Hera and Athena (who later opened up a popular upmarket trinket & poster shop). Athena had hoped to bribe him with power and victory in battle (business women ), but Aphrodite offered the love of the most beautiful woman in the world. Apart from my missus that is..

So, this is a sexually charged month... Considering that our club members GT4 verification pictures are pornographically outstanding, I'm positively trembling with anticipation as to what this months meet will turn out like.. I expect turn out to be very high.. oh yes.. Cameras optional.

Unfortunately, we got a Trackday (9th) and a Buckles Meet (14th) with Crispy Haddock and chunky chips to endure before the 28th arrives. So make sure you drag yourself to both Doo's to find out who will be wearing the sexy lingerie on the 28th.... Dazza or Sticky?

If Dazza wears that 'bald' cap, fish nets and high leg boots.. then I think we've found the front shot for the yearbook..

So, after all this drivel.. the meet will be held at the Usual 'Trading Post' Venue, Whitwood, Castleford from 7:30 pm. If you've not been before, please ask for directions and one of the regulars will kindly answer your query..

As you can see, things are informal and a little.... odd.. but rest assured, you'll be most welcome.

Harry_Boy

About bl**dy time too Mr Chairman.....

Harry_Boy

He means we have to pay......

Alan C

Sorry mate.. standards slipping..

corradoboy

You might, I have to beg, plead, wimper and bribe. But it's usually worth it as I'm happy right through the last week in september

Harry_Boy

Is that a birthday treat then Dave...??

Harry_Boy

I'd suggest a nylon gusset, Al.... Might help to keep them up....

Apple

Could a guest appearance by Finbarr Saunders, Esq. be on the cards?

Anyway, I hope to make it to at least some of the frolics...

Ere, Al, you forgot the old mucker, Bacchus in your name-dropping I'd have thought he'd be fairly high up on the list of peeps to pray to for a decent meet All we need now is Derek Guyler on the treadmill and a set of Vestal Virgins...

I'll stop before a) I go misty-eyed (not over Derek Guyler) and b) show my age too much

Andy

Alan C

I'm afraid Bachus will have to wait until a suitable event... Like when the majority aren't driving and we can salute him in style!

Harry_Boy

Boys, it's "Deryck Guyler"...... Honestly, the youth of today......

He played Norman 'I was a Desert Rat, you know' Potter in LWT's 1968 comedy "Please Sir".

Al - it's Bacchus mate.... Bachus is an Alabama congressman.....

bgood

iTrader: (2)

Quite what Al knows about them seems to be fairly open to question too it would seem, judging by the inane ramblings above

By the way Al which one of the Greek gods lent you a calendar or did you manage to finally resolve your date blindness all on your own?

Apple

Keep your hair on, Grandad - that's before I was born

Alan C

Ah yes. I have personally written to Mr gates and demanded my money back for his Outlook Product which is is clearly flawed.

Whilst I'm waiting for a reply from Microsoft, I thought I'd try the place I bought it from.. So I took it back to Cross Gates car boot sale on Sunday and asked Mad Tony for my money back.. The guy, who likes tatoos and Staffordshire bull terrirers, was accompanied by his two large sons and his wife who looked fetching in her 'creased look' nylon tracksuit. He was more than happy to replace the product and pulled another copy from under his taped together Tressle table.. I'm constantly amazed at endless suppy of every conceivable product hidden under there.

He again assured me of its authenticity and apologised for the lack of box, booklet and licence. He said he was still waiting for Microsoft to send them through customer service eh? Like me, he'll be waiting for some time..

He kindly offered me the latest copy of XP Pro, the full suite of Macromedia products and Adobes complete range. Some £1500 all for my inconvenience.. Now that is customer service!!! I'm suprised he makes any money at all! A shining example of British entrapaneurship.. In the Dyson mould, but without the bad breath, gold signet ring, D.E.A.T.H tatood on his fingers and the threats of violence..

To repay his kindness, his larger son told me to buy several original copies of other software and a few DVD feature films that have yet to appear this side of the US.. It was an offer I couln't refuse and all for £30. His overheads are obviously small.. and I'm sure the tax man gets a hefty cut of my cash too.. He'd mislaid his receipt book again, but I can forgive him small errors like that..

What a guy...

I'll be going back next week to get my Authentic £600 Louis Vuitton.. He told me he's do it for £25, but not to tell the Police... Too right I'm not, they'll all be down at those prices..!!

But seeing that I've told you, you'll keep it quite.. eh? I wouldn't want to make him angry.. He's probably got a right temper!!

All the very best from your mate...

Sticky..

Apple

Have you been watching Ronnie Corbett for tips on Complete Raconteur Appreciation Programme?

Harry_Boy

Rescued from oblivion......

Apple

just when we thought we were safe

Harry_Boy

Safe...?? Never...?? Muhahahahahaha..........

Harry_Boy

PS. Car now sold..... Happy seller. Happy buyer.

jasongled1

Got gearbox today cost me £400

Won't be able to make mid month but should make this one.
Local garage gonna fit it on monday for me and only charging £120,the lord giveth and the lord taketh away and all that

Harry_Boy

That's one expensive track day mate.....

The Lord taketh away. Then he taketh away a bit more.....

corradoboy

So, how many of the Party Faithful are going to the Buckles night tomorrow ? Will there be a meet up at the TP, with a convoy up Helen & I (& Barry) will make our own way there at about 8pm as Helen is working, just wondering who alse is coming for the large haddock and cheap beer

Glad you're sorted Jason, if at a cost I think the 'box was on its way out anyway with how it felt. The trackday probably just expeded the inevitable.

jasongled1

Yep and gonna have to learn how to use a five speed box again now,just got used to four Was thinking £120 for fitting was quite reasonable how bout you?

Harry_Boy

£120 for fitting sounds fine to me mate. Was going to say 'sounds great', but I guess that's what the old box was doing......

Harry_Boy

Not me Dave. Soz. Don't think Sticky is either. Although he'll probably contradict me. Just to be Sticky-like.....

corradoboy

If he gets too contadictory I'll lend you some of this.....

jasongled1

Yeah thats what i've been trying to tell myself and at least it'll be higher geared now as well.
It was really loud on the motorway at 2 billion revs for 120 oops i mean 70mph sorry officer

Harry_Boy

Just pretent it was reading in kph mate.....

Harry_Boy

Dave - I've tried this on a few bike rides. Doesn't work..... In fact, it usually ends with me falling off instead.....

Anyway, trust you to find a low cost household essential that no one has actually heard of. Bet you polished mi car with that too.....

corradoboy

I hope the new owners appreciated it Must come and do the Legy sometime

Harry_Boy

As soon as we get some decent weather again mate.
Looks familiar......