Me and the gf seperating mortgage.
28 July 2012, 09:01 PM
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Me and the gf seperating mortgage.
I recently found out my GF was cheating, so what i want to no is what options are there for the home. Can i get her name off the mortgage? Pay her off somehow? Im clueless and also didnt expect to have to do this.
Is it best to go to a solicitor first or my bank and explain the problem.
Is it best to go to a solicitor first or my bank and explain the problem.
28 July 2012, 10:15 PM
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Sorry to hear that. I suggest you talk to your GF about this separating mortgage issue first. If she is prepared to buy you out, or get bought out on a fair deal which is agreeable to you both, no need for a solicitor. You both can go to the bank and sort it. But if the deal seem unfair and not agreeable over the talking session, then get a solicitor involved. Good luck.
28 July 2012, 10:23 PM
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She couldnt afford to take on the house alone, i could JUST sti would have to go 
. So i would have to buy her out, but would'nt a solicitor be needed to legally get her name off the mortgage?
. So i would have to buy her out, but would'nt a solicitor be needed to legally get her name off the mortgage?
28 July 2012, 10:47 PM
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I believe you will have to get a solicitor to legally get her off the mortgage, Chris. Sorry, I was thinking more along the line of settling the deal by yourselves; like some do in divorces. However, just clear split on the mortage and buying out shouldn't be too difficult with the help of some solicitor, if she agrees to it. Keep your chin up. STIs come and go. Hope it all works out for you both.
28 July 2012, 10:59 PM
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Been here and done this. You need a legally binding "Seperation Order" before the mortgage company will have any interest in removing her from the mortgage, as she is liable for it, as are you. They also need to agree with your financial situation before offering you the mortgage alone based on your single income.
You also of course need to decide whats happening financially within the seperation order.
You also of course need to decide whats happening financially within the seperation order.
28 July 2012, 11:48 PM
#7
Been here and done this. You need a legally binding "Seperation Order" before the mortgage company will have any interest in removing her from the mortgage, as she is liable for it, as are you. They also need to agree with your financial situation before offering you the mortgage alone based on your single income.
You also of course need to decide whats happening financially within the seperation order.
You also of course need to decide whats happening financially within the seperation order.
See that ****s me off, they would rather force you to be in a position where no one pays that help work it out ..
Sorry to hear your situation mate .. might it be easier to sell the house?
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29 July 2012, 12:47 AM
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Yep not a great week dad had a heart attack thursday too, so im looking after my mum who had a stroke 5 years ago lol not fun. So if the bank dont think i can afford it alone selling the house will be the only outcome then. Thanks for the help
29 July 2012, 07:37 AM
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Lucklily for me I had 4 jobs and could just about manage. I still have 3 now, three years later, but pride wouldnt let me lose my house due to a divorce and luckliy the Halifax agreed that I could manage the £1200 a month alone, but god its hard at times. Especially when you pop the £500 a month child support and all the other usual living expenses on top of it... but when a woman says to you "If I leave you will lose the house you love so much" then all rules go out of the window and pride takes over.
29 July 2012, 11:57 AM
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Yeah I see what you mean, I wasn't to get her back
Not through rowing or anything but through keeping the house all to myself , and succeed and move on without her. Dads doing okay thanks
Not through rowing or anything but through keeping the house all to myself , and succeed and move on without her. Dads doing okay thanks
29 July 2012, 12:02 PM
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When this happened to me, the house was valued and she was entitled to half the equity which was £35k...so that`s the amount I had to remortgage to pay the b1tch off. On top of that, they`re `entitled` to half of everything, no matter what they contributed 
If she is a money grabbing ****** she can also go after your pension, beware, get a good solicitor.
If she is a money grabbing ****** she can also go after your pension, beware, get a good solicitor.
29 July 2012, 12:11 PM
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I saved a few grand in solicitors fees by sorting out the house contents etc. between us. Just a thought mate.
29 July 2012, 01:20 PM
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I no its not big item But flat screen tv, the bed, the microwave etc i bought with my own money so hopefully i'll be able to keep them, not that there big items in the scale of things.
29 July 2012, 01:39 PM
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I dealt with this situation a long time ago in the event that me and her broke up. The TV is mine, no ifs or buts......unless the TV Licence Man asks then it belongs to her.
29 July 2012, 02:09 PM
#18
A guy I used to work with split with his wife but agreed to pay the morage on the house while she and the kids lived there... At the same time he was paying her privatly for the kids - hols & everything...
Yes he earned enough money to pay for it all but it wasn't fair. He was made redundent recently and now that he can't afford the morage or anything - she isn't prepared to pay and has now taken legal action to force him to pay...
IIRC the solicitors are saying that his Ex is trying to get some of his new partners money as it's seen as thiers not hers!
Yes he earned enough money to pay for it all but it wasn't fair. He was made redundent recently and now that he can't afford the morage or anything - she isn't prepared to pay and has now taken legal action to force him to pay...
IIRC the solicitors are saying that his Ex is trying to get some of his new partners money as it's seen as thiers not hers!
29 July 2012, 02:55 PM
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A guy I used to work with split with his wife but agreed to pay the morage on the house while she and the kids lived there... At the same time he was paying her privatly for the kids - hols & everything...
Yes he earned enough money to pay for it all but it wasn't fair. He was made redundent recently and now that he can't afford the morage or anything - she isn't prepared to pay and has now taken legal action to force him to pay...
IIRC the solicitors are saying that his Ex is trying to get some of his new partners money as it's seen as thiers not hers!
Yes he earned enough money to pay for it all but it wasn't fair. He was made redundent recently and now that he can't afford the morage or anything - she isn't prepared to pay and has now taken legal action to force him to pay...
IIRC the solicitors are saying that his Ex is trying to get some of his new partners money as it's seen as thiers not hers!
This is terrible.
Why can't some estranged people stop hurting each other, especially when one of them continued to be generous and conscientious?
29 July 2012, 03:17 PM
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What's a woman and a tornado got in common ?
When they arrive they are wet and wild and when they leave they take half your house and your car with them
On a serous note to the OP sorry to hear you are going through all this.
Could the fact that you caught her cheating limit what she can try and claim
From you ?
When they arrive they are wet and wild and when they leave they take half your house and your car with them
On a serous note to the OP sorry to hear you are going through all this.
Could the fact that you caught her cheating limit what she can try and claim
From you ?
Last edited by nizmo80; 29 July 2012 at 03:23 PM.
29 July 2012, 04:05 PM
#22
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What's a woman and a tornado got in common ?
When they arrive they are wet and wild and when they leave they take half your house and your car with them
On a serous note to the OP sorry to hear you are going through all this.
Could the fact that you caught her cheating limit what she can try and claim
From you ?
When they arrive they are wet and wild and when they leave they take half your house and your car with them
On a serous note to the OP sorry to hear you are going through all this.
Could the fact that you caught her cheating limit what she can try and claim
From you ?
Bloody brilliant
I think if you can settle things between the two of you its the best way,A pal of mine when he split from her,she wanted the house valued at £250.000 and half the business etc,like hell did he want that to happen,something he had worked at to build up.He just kept her sweet got her a house and just bunged her some money for the kids etc.He was just in a fortunate position to be able to afford it though,mind you she was a **** teaser,type of woman who would try and make you jealous by flirting with other blokes..
29 July 2012, 06:03 PM
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29 July 2012, 09:57 PM
#24
Had to do this some years ago. No cheating involved or bitterness on any level. Other half and I just grew apart due to our own circumstances.
We were not married, so none of this 'owning half of everything the other half owns' applied.
We agreed which way things should work out, I relinquinshed my interests in the mortgage, for which she paid me an agreed amount. We were happy to use one solicitor to tie up the agreement, but the solicitor advised that we should appoint independant solicitors to keep the process straight.
It was the right decision at the time, we are both happy with our decision and our new separate lives.
My advice would be to keep it amicable - it doesn't make you a doormat, conduct yourself with dignity, the only persons who will gain from a bitter settlement are the solicitors.
We were not married, so none of this 'owning half of everything the other half owns' applied.
We agreed which way things should work out, I relinquinshed my interests in the mortgage, for which she paid me an agreed amount. We were happy to use one solicitor to tie up the agreement, but the solicitor advised that we should appoint independant solicitors to keep the process straight.
It was the right decision at the time, we are both happy with our decision and our new separate lives.
My advice would be to keep it amicable - it doesn't make you a doormat, conduct yourself with dignity, the only persons who will gain from a bitter settlement are the solicitors.
29 July 2012, 11:44 PM
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30 July 2012, 12:25 AM
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wow i so often read of these kinds of situations - wealth when considering a solid relationship really needs to be dispelled and not discussed. each half of the relatinship pays half and on occassion the greater earner buys a treat above anbeyond normality.
but **** me, it just stresses the bsolute importanc of selecting a partner where long term stability and family life can be not only maintained but actually enjoyed.
my partner ears less than me but insist on paying half of all utility bills and childcare, which skins her - but i wont ask her to back donw, i pay for other services that we both benefit from.
im so so lucky in having a partner that wants to be able to stand on there own 2 feet no matter what - its an admirable trait imo.
she looks afer my shortcomings lke a typical inability to find things i need, bu if she runs out offeul a week before pay day i recompense.
its really abalance of everything and im so fcking glad i have this. dealing with self important, career minded or money driven people is a total turn off for a life partner.
choose very very wisely imo!!
but **** me, it just stresses the bsolute importanc of selecting a partner where long term stability and family life can be not only maintained but actually enjoyed.
my partner ears less than me but insist on paying half of all utility bills and childcare, which skins her - but i wont ask her to back donw, i pay for other services that we both benefit from.
im so so lucky in having a partner that wants to be able to stand on there own 2 feet no matter what - its an admirable trait imo.
she looks afer my shortcomings lke a typical inability to find things i need, bu if she runs out offeul a week before pay day i recompense.
its really abalance of everything and im so fcking glad i have this. dealing with self important, career minded or money driven people is a total turn off for a life partner.
choose very very wisely imo!!
30 July 2012, 07:22 AM
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Keep calm - and its quite helpfull to be the complainant in the divorce, so get yourself onto the diviorce right now. If you want to save a packet, use www.quickie-divorce.co.uk, they are excellent and will have you divorced for about £60 plus court fees (Another £340 - directly to the court)