Me and the gf seperating mortgage.
 

I recently found out my GF was cheating, so what i want to no is what options are there for the home. Can i get her name off the mortgage? Pay her off somehow? Im clueless and also didnt expect to have to do this.
Is it best to go to a solicitor first or my bank and explain the problem.

Sorry to hear that. I suggest you talk to your GF about this separating mortgage issue first. If she is prepared to buy you out, or get bought out on a fair deal which is agreeable to you both, no need for a solicitor. You both can go to the bank and sort it. But if the deal seem unfair and not agreeable over the talking session, then get a solicitor involved. Good luck.

She couldnt afford to take on the house alone, i could JUST sti would have to go :(. So i would have to buy her out, but would'nt a solicitor be needed to legally get her name off the mortgage?

I believe you will have to get a solicitor to legally get her off the mortgage, Chris. Sorry, I was thinking more along the line of settling the deal by yourselves; like some do in divorces. However, just clear split on the mortage and buying out shouldn't be too difficult with the help of some solicitor, if she agrees to it. Keep your chin up. STIs come and go. Hope it all works out for you both.

Been here and done this. You need a legally binding "Seperation Order" before the mortgage company will have any interest in removing her from the mortgage, as she is liable for it, as are you. They also need to agree with your financial situation before offering you the mortgage alone based on your single income.

You also of course need to decide whats happening financially within the seperation order.

Bloody hell,sounds like you're caught up in a double whammy,finding out the mrs is cheating,and the sh!t they talk about blokes are the cheaters....

See that ****s me off, they would rather force you to be in a position where no one pays that help work it out ..

Sorry to hear your situation mate .. might it be easier to sell the house?

Yep not a great week dad had a heart attack thursday too, so im looking after my mum who had a stroke 5 years ago lol not fun. So if the bank dont think i can afford it alone selling the house will be the only outcome then. Thanks for the help

Its understandable really if we are honest. They have loaned two people a couple of hundred grand, and they quite understandably want it all back. Its totally up to them to decide if one person should be let off the hook legally and the other take all the risk and to do so they need to see proof that you are no longer a legal entity, which is where the seperation order comes in.

Lucklily for me I had 4 jobs and could just about manage. I still have 3 now, three years later, but pride wouldnt let me lose my house due to a divorce and luckliy the Halifax agreed that I could manage the £1200 a month alone, but god its hard at times. Especially when you pop the £500 a month child support and all the other usual living expenses on top of it... but when a woman says to you "If I leave you will lose the house you love so much" then all rules go out of the window and pride takes over. :)

Jees... sorry to read this mate, I hope he recovers and August is a better month for you. :(

Yeah I see what you mean, I wasn't to get her back
Not through rowing or anything but through keeping the house all to myself , and succeed and move on without her. Dads doing okay thanks

How much is child maintenance for one child ? Does it depend how much you earn etc how many hours a week you have the kid for?

When this happened to me, the house was valued and she was entitled to half the equity which was £35k...so that`s the amount I had to remortgage to pay the b1tch off. On top of that, they`re `entitled` to half of everything, no matter what they contributed :mad: If she is a money grabbing fcuker she can also go after your pension, beware, get a good solicitor.

Hmmm she probably will be money grabbing if it turns nasty. Luckily I don't have a pension just the house to sort out and the kid.

I know you probably want to kick her out or rip her head off but try and keep it amicable until it`s all sorted, might work out cheaper for you :thumb: I saved a few grand in solicitors fees by sorting out the house contents etc. between us. Just a thought mate.

I no its not big item But flat screen tv, the bed, the microwave etc i bought with my own money so hopefully i'll be able to keep them, not that there big items in the scale of things.

I dealt with this situation a long time ago in the event that me and her broke up. The TV is mine, no ifs or buts......unless the TV Licence Man asks then it belongs to her.

A guy I used to work with split with his wife but agreed to pay the morage on the house while she and the kids lived there... At the same time he was paying her privatly for the kids - hols & everything...

Yes he earned enough money to pay for it all but it wasn't fair. He was made redundent recently and now that he can't afford the morage or anything - she isn't prepared to pay and has now taken legal action to force him to pay...

IIRC the solicitors are saying that his Ex is trying to get some of his new partners money as it's seen as thiers not hers!

This is terrible.

Why can't some estranged people stop hurting each other, especially when one of them continued to be generous and conscientious? :(

What's a woman and a tornado got in common ?
When they arrive they are wet and wild and when they leave they take half your house and your car with them :lol1: :cry:

On a serous note to the OP sorry to hear you are going through all this.
Could the fact that you caught her cheating limit what she can try and claim
From you ?

It makes no difference.

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

Bloody brilliant

I think if you can settle things between the two of you its the best way,A pal of mine when he split from her,she wanted the house valued at £250.000 and half the business etc,like hell did he want that to happen,something he had worked at to build up.He just kept her sweet got her a house and just bunged her some money for the kids etc.He was just in a fortunate position to be able to afford it though,mind you she was a cock teaser,type of woman who would try and make you jealous by flirting with other blokes..

I think that the first time I heard that joke Niz was on either the Sooty and Sweep or Basil Brush show when I was a kid! :lol1:

Had to do this some years ago. No cheating involved or bitterness on any level. Other half and I just grew apart due to our own circumstances.

We were not married, so none of this 'owning half of everything the other half owns' applied.

We agreed which way things should work out, I relinquinshed my interests in the mortgage, for which she paid me an agreed amount. We were happy to use one solicitor to tie up the agreement, but the solicitor advised that we should appoint independant solicitors to keep the process straight.

It was the right decision at the time, we are both happy with our decision and our new separate lives.

My advice would be to keep it amicable - it doesn't make you a doormat, conduct yourself with dignity, the only persons who will gain from a bitter settlement are the solicitors.

Well said. :thumb:

Errrrrrr



Got any naughty pics of her :D

lol i think there was some on the post your wags page

wow i so often read of these kinds of situations - wealth when considering a solid relationship really needs to be dispelled and not discussed. each half of the relatinship pays half and on occassion the greater earner buys a treat above anbeyond normality.
but **** me, it just stresses the bsolute importanc of selecting a partner where long term stability and family life can be not only maintained but actually enjoyed.

my partner ears less than me but insist on paying half of all utility bills and childcare, which skins her - but i wont ask her to back donw, i pay for other services that we both benefit from.

im so so lucky in having a partner that wants to be able to stand on there own 2 feet no matter what - its an admirable trait imo.

she looks afer my shortcomings lke a typical inability to find things i need, bu if she runs out offeul a week before pay day i recompense.

its really abalance of everything and im so fcking glad i have this. dealing with self important, career minded or money driven people is a total turn off for a life partner.

choose very very wisely imo!!

Go to a GOOD Soliciter straight away on the quite, dont be fooled she probably has been to one already. You need to know where you stand asap.

Very good advice indeed. my ex and I stayed ammicable and it undoubtably saved me a huge amount of money and pain. Remember, its quite hard to rip the balls of a guy that is always nice to you... once it turns bitter, revenge is sweet, and the bloke always loses.

Keep calm - and its quite helpfull to be the complainant in the divorce, so get yourself onto the diviorce right now. If you want to save a packet, use www.quickie-divorce.co.uk, they are excellent and will have you divorced for about £60 plus court fees (Another £340 - directly to the court)