So my wife came up to me and said, "Take off my shirt"
04 May 2012, 09:17 PM
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So my wife came up to me and said, "Take off my shirt"
So I took off her shirt. Then she said, "Take off my skirt." I took off her skirt. "Take off my shoes." I took off her shoes. "Now my hose, bra, and knickers." I took them off. Then she looked at me and said
"I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again"
"I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again"
04 May 2012, 10:40 PM
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I was out driving this morning, and I saw this fit looking Eastern European standing on a street corner.
I pulled over and lowered the window.
"Hey there, how much?" I said,
"£100"
"What do I get for £100?"
"Full day. Tiling, painting, whatever you need" he said.
I pulled over and lowered the window.
"Hey there, how much?" I said,
"£100"
"What do I get for £100?"
"Full day. Tiling, painting, whatever you need" he said.
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05 May 2012, 10:01 AM
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A sergeant major is inspecting his newest recruits and picks on one small lad in the front row.
"What's your name, Private?"
"Pizza."
"I don't think you heard me son. I didn't ask your favourite ****ing food. What's your name?"
"Pizza."
"You think you're smart son? I don't want nicknames or any of that street ****. I want your name. The one your mummy gave you. This is your last chance. What is your ****ing name."
"Pizza."
The sergeant grabs the helpless soldier and kicks the **** out of him then calls to another lad.
"Let this be a lesson to you all! Take this sack of **** to the medical room!"
"Yes sir" replies the soldier "And what shall I do with Pete's rifle?"
"What's your name, Private?"
"Pizza."
"I don't think you heard me son. I didn't ask your favourite ****ing food. What's your name?"
"Pizza."
"You think you're smart son? I don't want nicknames or any of that street ****. I want your name. The one your mummy gave you. This is your last chance. What is your ****ing name."
"Pizza."
The sergeant grabs the helpless soldier and kicks the **** out of him then calls to another lad.
"Let this be a lesson to you all! Take this sack of **** to the medical room!"
"Yes sir" replies the soldier "And what shall I do with Pete's rifle?"
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